So after breaking up with a long time gf of college I was single for 9 months and during that time I downloaded bumble and got some good matches, ended up talking with just with 2 of the best girls in the end and deleted bumble, both the girls were very smart, in terms of IQ, EQ, and maturity. I wanted to decide who should I end up with. Let’s call them, R and H for now. I really liked R, met her a few times and we vibed well, although she was very shy and didn’t talk much. I started dating R and didn’t take things forward with H but talked to H only on certain occasions like a friend, because she was smart and fun to talk to. However, R was quite reserved for a long time even after we were dating and after asking her multiple times that why she never tell me what he likes and her wishes and that if she wants to see me or meet me (because only I was doing that for about 6-7 months). During this while, H confessed her feelings for me, I was quite shocked at that moment and politely told her no and she cut the call. However she wrote a very sweet message the next day about how she respects my decision and really appreciated and respected me. While talking to her I felt valued, since beginning and never knew where hours went. She would tell me her interests and with her it never felt like I had the burden to carry a conversation forward. This really made me upset about my scene with R, whom I really liked, but also made me wonder if H, was right for me all along? (She had an amazing personality, fun to talk, interesting, adventurous, when talking to her never knew where time went) I didn’t talk to H for sometime, and wanted to fix things with R. But R never gave me a proper answer and yet it was always me carrying the conversation on call and text. R was a wonderful young lady, someone very calm and beautiful. She was someone I could trust with my eyes blindfolded. She was a diamond. But the saddest part is that we just couldn’t talk (at least I felt that way), She was so content with us that she didn’t feel like talking and just be. The interesting thing is that she used to talk non-stop with her friends and sisters which made me wonder even more that why she doesn’t act this way with me, so carefree and candid. Now H comes back in the picture and again started sending slightly romantic memes to me on insta and it made me feel food, things didn’t feel wrong with her. So I went to see her after talking for 4-5 months, and during that period I had decided that I had to end things with R in a way that she isn’t hurt or which damages her opinion about men in general because she really put me on a pedestal (not unnecessarily but because I always went out of my ways to make her happy and feel valued). So, I stared showing R that if things go this way then our future is not very good, and also I didn’t mention, but we used to meet each other like once a month only for a few hours because she had crazy restrictions at her home. I used to tell her indirectly that maybe we’re better off alone than together because this was getting very frustrating. In the meanwhile I was seeing H (yes it really made me feel horrible since I was two timing, I even cried a few times thinking of the mess I was in and felt bad for the beautiful girls). So now after a year and half H proposed to me and I said yes, and decided that now I have to end this. I broke up with R that day, she was really hurt and cried. Yes my plan failed miserably and it still pains me like hell even after 8-9 months. On that last day, she told me why she was like this all this while, because she had certain childhood issues because of which she just doesn’t think of herself first and only wants to do what others like. She never got the opportunity to make a personality of herself, she didn’t know her interests and what she wanted. This made me feel so horrible and bad, but it was too late. I had to swallow the brick and leave her for her own betterment because I was growing this resentment towards her because of all the piled up frustration which she didn’t deserve and thus, I wasn’t the right person for her, she deserved someone even more loving. Now I am with H, happy and grateful but I still feel bad for her R because she was gem of a person who didn’t deserve this but we just weren’t meant to be together. Had to get this off my chest. Please tell me what you feel about this?