I (27f) broke up with my bf(32m) because I feel like I stayed longer than I should have. I had constant thoughts of leaving him way before actually doing it. I was living with him and his family for awhile and they kept being emotionally abusive and controlling for no reason like I would go out and chill with my friends and they would tell my bf that I was cheating and my bf would allow it and not defend me. (My bf knew exactly where I was all the time) they would tell me pretty much that I don’t look good in my clothes hinting that I’m fat (I’m not I’m average built). Ask me if I had rent money when they saw me do something for myself like get a haircut (I always paid my rent on time) I felt like they always talked shit about me for no reason. After some years I moved out. After moving out I only saw him once a week and I had to be the one to ask. I also left my bf because he never took care of himself and was always drinking. He never complemented me on anything I wore. He told me I was not smart and that I was insecure. (I am not insecure in my opinion.) matter a fact he never uplifted me once. He didn’t want to marry me. Never planned any dates. The last straw was that I asked him to get his passport so we can go on vacation(I was paying for the vacation) and something in my heart told me he wasn’t going to get it and he never did.
think what hurts is that I was his first and only gf so you think he would’ve tried to improve something but I guess not.
I have high hopes in my heart that I’ll find the love of my life who will make me feel amazing and make me feel like I’m not asking for much. (I promise I barley ask for anything ❤️)
Thank you for reading sorry for any grammar or spelling errors 🙏🏼❤️
Comments
Why were you even with him in the very first place. Good riddance
It’s great that you left him, but I think you need to deeply investigate why you would be with a person like this in the first place.
I want to say this is as kindly as possible, but say that you’re not insecure, but I don’t know anybody with a secure sense of self, self-respect, or confidence that would remain with someone like this for seven years.
Paying for the vacation of a man who would allow his family to speak poorly of you, spoke poorly of you himself, and did not make an effort to spend time with you after you were not in his immediate presence. You also note that you were his first girlfriend, as if that is a power differential that would make him treat you better. And a secure and self-confident person would certainly not see the piece of information that way.
You should be incredibly proud that you were able to leave now! I do however even the worst and laziest clock can be right twice a day. I would look into therapy as you move forward.
You have all the tools! So stop applying them to losers who don’t appreciate you and apply them to yourself! Imagine where you could be if all the energy you put into him had gone into you?
Please get in therapy and work on yourself before entering a new relationship. You say you don’t have low self esteem, but I disagree. Sometimes we don’t realize we have these issues until we step back and truly evaluate ourselves and the decisions we make in who we date. Currently, you have bad taste in men and your bar is way too low.
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To the two comments who said I have low self esteem and to anyone else who agrees
I guess I do have low self esteem but never realized it. I try to be confident and never pushed my insecurities onto anyone else. I’ve been emotionally abused by family members(been told I do things wrong and think wrong etc…) and I have a big flaw/ insecurity that is abnormal to society and I’ve tried to get it fixed multiple times. Please try to understand🙏🏼
It’s very hard to be confident when people point out your biggest flaw that you can not hide and have been called ugly because of.
I did love this man and I sadly did not have the strength to leave until now.
I do not plan on getting into a new relationship any time soon.
I will think about going to therapy I tried once when I was younger and it didn’t help.
Well let this be your lesson on love the hard way. You deserve more and hopefully you’ll find it. Good luck to you!! And I’m super proud of you. It’s always hard walking away.