I’m a hairdresser. I love my job, I’m good at it, but unfortunately my own hair is terrible. I damaged it really badly as a kid/teen because I have very thick, curly hair, and I was ashamed of it, so I used heat straighteners every day for years. I had very damaged hair. I get a discount on hair products at my salon, and I used to use them to mask the damage, but it’s a hassle to deal with. I felt like as a hairdresser, my own hair will be under scrutiny by clients, and I needed it to look perfect. So I cut off most of the damaged hair and started wearing a wig.
Well, today I was with a client, and she randomly said, “Just curious, are you wearing a wig?” And I panicked. I just have so much embarrassment wrapped up in the whole situation. I was ashamed when I was a kid with curly hair, and I was ashamed when I was older and had damaged hair, and now I’m ashamed that I wear a wig to cover up the previous issues. I never tell anyone about it. So I just sort of played dumb and said, “What, why?” And she said it had shifted and she’d seen the lace edge.
I said, “I had cancer and lost my hair, so I wear a wig now.” I know that is awful. I don’t even know why I said it, it’s just that, again, I have so much insecurity about it. I felt like I had to cover up my previous actions: to justify why I had a wig in the first place (because admitting that I damaged my hair was shameful), and then to justify why I had sort of lied the first time she asked (although there was some plausible deniability there since I hadn’t really confirmed or denied until she said she had seen it).
She was very apologetic and embarrassed and said she was sorry for asking. The rest of the session was awkward.
Comments
Girl, you gotta come clean ASAP. Cancer lies always catch up and it’s so much worse.
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Mate, TBH, I get your embarrassment, but lying about cancer isn’t the way to go. We’ve all got sh*t we’re insecure about, but taking advantage of a real and devastating illness for a cover up’s a cheap move. Use this as a moment to own up to your story. Damaged your hair through heat treatment? You’re not alone. Wearing a wig can be your testament to self-love and a drive to change. It’s not something to be ashamed of, it’s a choice, your choice. Turn this sitch around, bud. +1 for reminder on self-love & authenticity, -1 for the cancer fib. Not your finest moment, but we learn, we grow. Peace out. ✌️
It isnt a very good move but you dont hurt anyone. The next time you can say something like, im sorry but talking about it makes me emotional. And people will shut up and otherwise you ask them to.
Man. You’re wrong for this, and it could bite you in the ass. What if that client has a big mouth? What are you going to do when the next client asks you what kind of cancer you have? Cancer is devastating. Most families in the US have lost someone to cancer, including that client you lied to. You didn’t need to be ashamed of wearing a wig, ESPECIALLY as a stylist. But lying about cancer, you should be ashamed of that.
I dont get. If you stop frying your hair, shouldn‘t the new hair that grows back be healthy like nothing happened?! I genuinly don‘t know, but that‘s just what I assumed.
Don’t worry too much about it
As a cancer survivor, yes, you were wrong to lie about it. You could have said that sometimes it’s just easier to throw on a wig then to style your hair.
First you were ashamed at the damage you caused to your hair, which to me is silly, now you should be ashamed to pretend that you have cancer to justify wearing a wig!!
Admitting you have damaged hair is shameful… But lying about having cancer is not?
That’s fuckin foul
Something’s not adding up.
You ruined your hair as a kid but you’re now a working adult. So why did you have to chop off your hair now?
The hair that grows in isn’t affected by the heat treatment etc. done to the “previous” hair. Shouldn’t it have grown out healthy already?
Here to play the devils advocate and say I really don’t think it’s that bad, I just wouldn’t do it again. I understand that you probably said it because it gets people to halt their question pretty quickly and shift the conversation to something else… but yeah, cancer is a pretty big, serious thing that many people have past with.
I don’t get the vibe that you were intentionally being malicious or brushing cancer off like nothing. I think this reads like you panicked, said the first thing that came to your head, and later realised it was a bit fucked up.
I’d just let it go, don’t carry on with the lie, if anyone asks you, just tell them it’s personal. It’s a much easier way of going about it.
So wrong about this and this is coming from a cancer survivor I’m pretty offended as a hairdresser you should know that there’s all kinds of products for curly hair
An understandable lie in the moment, due to sheer embarrassment. I’m trying also to understand the sheer audacity of a person pointing to your hairline and saying they can see you’re wearing a wig. A perfect moment for them to read the room was when you feigned confusion – it was clear that they had seen a wig AND it was clear you didn’t want to talk about it.
When you next see that client, I’d calmly bring it up if there’s a private opportunity. Something along the lines of: “I don’t have cancer. I’m sorry I told you I did; you put me on the spot by asking about my wig and I was embarrassed. I AM wearing a wig at the moment because I damaged my hair a while back and I’m still growing it out. I wasn’t prepared to answer questions about it to clients and I was just self conscious. I’m sorry.”
Or you can say nothing. If the client spreads the word you’ve got cancer though, you may get bigger issues down the line.
OP I have extremely thin hair and now androgenoc alopecia. I’ve been wearing wigs for 5 years and I was embarrassed as hell too at first, especially when figuring out what worked and what didn’t. I remember the panic, the shakes, the shame when approached about my wig. And I completely understand why you said what you said. Ignore the drama queens in here lacking compassion. Ignorance is bliss for them. You can as others have said, own up and say you panicked as no one has asked before, or just tell people you don’t want to talk about it if they ask. And if a customer askes again just tell them you are giving your hair a break from styling.
Honestly, wearing wigs in 2025 doesn’t even feel like a big deal anymore. I like switching things up with different colors and different cuts without having to bleach or damage my natural black hair. It’s an easy way to experiment and have fun with my look. You can just say that, I don’t think she’d shame you for it.
Don’t mention it again don’t talk about it and just move on
Claiming you’re sick when you’re not is pretty low. Don’t do it again. If a client asks just say your hair was dirty abc you didn’t have time to do it today.
Your story doesn’t add up though. Your damaged hair would have grown out years ago if it happened when you were a kid but you’re an adult now.
Clearly, OP feels terrible about the cancer lie. She’s already ashamed of her hair, the damage that’s been done to it, then the wig…and now the lie. Cut her a break. Yeah it wasn’t a cool thing to do but shame surrounding her hair has very obviously been an a significant ongoing struggle her entire life. Considering how shame seems to affect her…more people shaming her is not going to reverse her lie or make her feel confident to share her truth next time. Giving herself some grace and embracing her mistakes without tearing herself down would probably do her much more good moving forward.
It’s a confession…no need for pillory.
OP, you shouldn’t torture yourself over this. Learn from it, give yourself some much needed grace, move on and try not to keep digging yourself these holes in the future. Good luck ❤️
You could have just said you had hair loss due to health reasons, something vague and saying you don’t want to talk about it.
PCOS, Alopecia, stress, hormonal imbalances, different meds etc can all cause partial or total hair loss. By naming a specific condition ESPECIALLY one as serious as cancer is so wrong and so likely to bite you on the ass.
I use a mobility aid due to MS and don’t want to give my medical history to complete strangers who feel entitled to ask (this happens endlessly), I just say “because I have a disability” or “because I need to”, if someone asks again (they actually do!) I just repeat the same phrases more bluntly. I don’t disclose answers to rude personal questions and I would NEVER make up something like cancer.
Girl pray that client never talks or comes back and never say that shit again.
Wearing a wig is a valid life choice for any reason. I can completely understand that you panicked in this situation because your job is hair related, but next time I think you should just say you wear a wig because you like changing up your hairstyle a lot and it would be damaging for your real hair so you style wigs in different ways.
So since you cut it off you must know how to take care of the fresh growth? Why not rock a short and healthy cut?
Your story doesn’t make sense. If your hair was damaged as a kid/teen it would’ve grown out healthy again by now. You’re full of it.