TL;DR I like him, but I’m hesitant because of our age gap, his emotional fragility, and our shared friend group. I also study abroad. Looking for THOUGHTFUL advice.
I’m 24 and I’ve developed feelings for a 19 year old guy I’ve known for a few years. We originally met during COVID through a mutual friend, it started as group gaming online, nothing personal. Around late 2021, our friend group started hanging out in person more regularly, and we’ve all become quite close (I’ve only been part of the hangouts during the summers because I study at UK and come home during breaks) Lately, I realized I have some feelings for him.
I know the 5 year age gap isn’t huge, but we are definitely in different stages of life. I’m studying abroad now, and thinking more about longterm goals. He’s still figuring himself out both emotionally and mentally and I know from being around him (and hearing from mutual friends) that he’s emotionally quite fragile. That’s been one of my biggest hesitations. I don’t want to risk confusing him, hurting him or making things worse for him mentally.
One of my biggest concerns is the power dynamic. I’m older, more emotionally stable, and more independent. And I worry that even if things feel mutual, there might be an imbalance that could unintentionally affect his sense of agency or comfort. I don’t want to be someone who takes advantage of someone younger or less secure.
We’re also part of a very close friend group, and any shift in dynamic could affect everyone. Some friends have encouraged me to make a move, but I’m scared it might mess things up especially since I’m not around year round. I’ve thought about just quietly leaving the door open, but I also feel like I’m in limbo. I don’t want to pressure him, but I also don’t want to ignore how I feel forever.
I guess what I’m looking for is honest, thoughtful advice. Should I just let this go completely? Or is there a way to approach this carefully, respectfully, and without disrupting things especially given the age gap, his emotional state, and the physical distance.