In my mind, her response is a foregone conclusion: no. And for me, “no” is tantamount to “never, and don’t ask me again. Not in a year, not in ten years.” I hold on to hope, believing that maybe I’m misinterpreting, and maybe she has feelings for me. But I’m honestly afraid of broaching the subject with her, because not only do I think she’ll turn me down, but I’m also worried that she might even deny ever having admitted to liking me in the first place. (“What the actual f—?! I never said I liked you in that way.” “Yes, I sent that. What definition of “like” popped into your head? Must not be the same as the one I had in mind.” “Must’ve misread your messages. I’m sorry if you misinterpreted the nature of our friendship, but I have made my feelings abundantly clear on many occasions, even if you chose not to listen to what I was saying.” – She didn’t actually send any of these, but that’s what Im afraid she will say if I bother bringing it up with her again.
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Girl.
You’re going to give yourself an ulcer like this. Get help for anxiety, and talk to this person about your feelings. That’s all you can do, you can’t know unless you talk about it.
What happened 10 months ago? You confessed mutual feelings, then what?
???
Friend, you actually have to DO something now, lol. You can’t just say, “I like you!” and then she says “I like you too!” And then you don’t take any other actions, lol.
Ask her out. Say, “Hey, would you like to go on a date with me? How about X activity?”
Then see what she says. Maybe she’ll say yes. Maybe she’ll say no. Rejection sucks and it’s scary. But you have to have enough courage to actually take the leap and find out. Otherwise, as you’ve discovered, nothing happens.
It sounds like you missed your shot with inaction. I know it’s not a very cemented answer but sometimes we meet people and it’s the wrong time even if it might be the right person. Sometimes a window opens and that’s the time to do something with it. And when that window shuts: it’s shut for good.
It’s a tough life lesson to learn but we have to be brave enough to take a chance when opportunities pop up. When you are young you think you have all the time in the world for those chances to happen again and again. Truth is, those opportunities become fewer as you get older. The stick in the mud of it is that we don’t typically have the confidence to take those risks when those opportunities are more frequent.
Favor fortunes the bold, as the saying goes. You can have a frank and brave conversation with them to see if that door really is closed, but you’d need to be direct about it. No beating around the bush. If the answer is no, then it’s no. No reasoning will likely make you feel better about it, so don’t try to intellectualize the loss.
You live 4/5 hours apart. You’re not going to run into to her and it’ll take concrete overt effort for anything like that to work. So, ask directly if she wants to meet up with some specifics regarding a shared interest. If no, move on.
People changing behavior after they tell you they like you while your response has no invitation to act on it, is totally normal
All you can do is shoot your shot & let them know that you’re happy being friends but if there’s the chance of something more, you’d be up for that.
It can turn out to be great or not, it’s a 50/50 chance. While it’s possible that they may not be interested, that will sting and be disappointing but you’ll get over it. Not knowing and making up responses on their behalf makes it 100% chance of going nowhere and feeling crappy, completely eliminating the chance that it could be great.