i am 25 soon to be 26 and have had a drinking problem since i was 14. i’ve gone consecutively sober for 6 months since then, due to my epilepsy diagnosis.
i’ve tried AA, i’ve tried sitting with it, i’ve tried keeping busy, i’ve tried distractions, focusing on the 12 steps, listening to people who love me begging me to stop.
i can’t stop, if i don’t have it i will steal it, or literally starve to be able to pay for it. if i do have it, i’ll spend the next day hoping the hangover won’t trigger my epilepsy, and if it doesn’t, i’ll spend my food money on it and just have hope i’ll find food til i’m paid next.
i am so addicted to this shit and can’t find an end to this road i can’t see it for me man, this is what i know. this is comfort for me. my life is full of misfortunes which adds to it all.
please how do i stop the cravings that’s what gets me the most is the cravings. if i have one, i can’t stop. i can’t remember my life anymore i’m so fucked from this shit.
it’s crazy cus i’ll actually read this in the next few days and say “girl you are so dramatic, if you time out this 12pk, you won’t be hung over tomorrow, and you deserve it”
i’ll die from this i’m sure of it, but i feel okay with it sadly. i can’t imagine my life without it…
idk man not looking for something other than to put this out somewhere. got no outlet right now. cant tell anyone i know other wise they’ll freak. cheers
Comments
You need to check yourself into a hospital or a rehab like yesterday
Go into in-house treatment at a medical facility. You need to be in a place INSIDE to be kept away from the store. You need to be in treatment long enough to get stable and sober.
It sounds like you are gambling with your life.
I hope you get help.
I spent quite a lot of my life as a functioning alcoholic, when I realized I was killing myself and tried to quit, I couldn’t, what happened next is a long story of failures but I eventually signed myself into a hospital for detox. I don’t think that I could have quit without doctor’s care, I think withdrawal would have killed me if I tried to handle it on my own. Maybe give a hospital a try? I hope you can get the help you need.
Almost 3 years sober here. AA worked for me, but it doesnt work for everyone. I agree with some people here recommending going to rehab. There are tons of good programs available to help detox your body and get past the physical cravings.
AA might not be your answer, but I will pray you find it whatever it may be. This could definitly help clear your help to make AA or an out patient therapy more effective.
The first 30 days were the hardest part for me. Life is still hard, I lost my Dad after getting sober around year 2. I was able to be the son, husband, and father I needed to be because I was sober. (31 M if its relevant).
My favorite analogy is that alcoholism is an allergy to alcohol. We react different than other people. Rehab can help you survive the physical withdraw to focus on the mental.
You got this.
Im a substance use counselor and spend majority of my professional time researching and working with addiction, I can say with confidence you should highly consider rehab. Hospitals for the most part will just detox you and send you on your way, but a (good) rehab will allow you to detox and then stay in the program. With addiction ive seen community is what helps the most, being around others who understand what you’re going through constantly in the early days of your sobriety will be extremely helpful. You can get sober, I have the fullest confidence in you, you just have to make that next step, its gonna be hell trying to do it on your own
You need a medical detox my friend. Many alcoholics start their drinking careers in their teens.
I needed help too. I couldn’t do it on my own; moreover, I was at the stage where it was dangerous, perhaps even fatally so, for me to even try.
After my 30 day detox, I did EVERYTHING they suggested I do to maintain my sobriety. I did 90 meetings in 90 days. I went to group and individual therapy. I COMPLETELY changed who i associated with. I stuck with 100% sober people.
I was scared. 18 years later I’m still sober and I never want to lose the fear of losing my sobriety.
Get professional help my friend. It’s out there. Sending you my very best wishes.
Please get professional help with detoxing as soon as you can. Some of my scariest childhood memories were calling 911 while watching my mother have withdrawal-related seizures and temporarily losing her memory due to how physically dependent her body became to heavy and regular alcohol use.
She has now been sober for 14 years now and is the happiest I’ve ever seen her, and she hasn’t had a seizure since she was eventually hospitalized and detoxed properly. However, there has definitely been some long-term damage done to her mind and body after incredibly heavy use for many years (and mixing with other prescriptions). But she still lives a completely full life at 66 and is probably out on her tractor gardening right now.
Point is – it’s not too late to turn things around for yourself with the right help. But you have to want the help and change in your life for it to work. Until my mother was given the ultimatum of seeing her children again or drinking alcohol, she was selfishly addicted to anything that wandered her mind from reality.
I thought you were a boy until I read girl I don’t think it makes a difference but I like to drink like I really like it but idk I have had a few experiences to make me sober for the most part firstly SA repeatedly happens if you drink around men also you can’t dig yourself out of a hole if you’re still digging the hole. I hit my limit when I realized I was tipsy daily for a month and my kids dad threw up on himself in his sleep (he drank way more than me and more frequently) I was scared for him and also for myself I literally took a day a week “off” from drinking to hydrate THATS when it hit me I have a problem when he puked in his sleep I had enough I poured it out and quit now I have a child and I barely drink anymore you just need to find priorities and fulfill your life maybe talk to god or go to church even pick up the Bible it helps me every single day I downloaded the Bible app and it shows me one sentence everyday very effortless to keep up with and helps me stay close to god because people just aren’t the same it’s hard not to want to feel the high that drugs n alcohol give you but you can remember things sober and thoroughly enjoy your life when you give it to god and not this world, love I hope this helps you some
I’m gonna offer a slightly different perspective. I’ve been in your shoes. Not for as long but it was BAD. I was a heavy binge drinker and didn’t see an end in sight. Then I started learning about harm reduction. Naltrexone is the thing that got me out. If you want to go fully sober TODAY, you should go to rehab. But this med offered an alternative that worked for me. Curbs the cravings and now I drink every week or other week and don’t NEED alcohol at all. You’ve got this, friend.
Edited to add: you should see a doctor regardless because withdrawals/detox can be very dangerous if not done with a doctors supervision.