6 months, not even knowing I was pregnant. Apparently it’s not too rare.
We wanted to wait to learn the gender. 27 weeks, and I lost them. I asked my partner if he wanted to know. He said no.
I can’t break down in front of him. This is his third loss. It wouldn’t be fair. Im trying to be supportive.
Everything is going better for him now. He is so much happier than before since my hormones are going back to “normal”.
I feel like all I can do is constantly clean. Cook food before he gets home and store it away in the freezer. Do anything that involves some level of focus and using my brain so I don’t think about it.
I don’t know why I feel this way. I know it’s better i don’t know. I hope they aren’t mad at me. I hope wherever they are, theyre happy. I bet they were beautiful. I didn’t even get to see them.
When I finally got them out, I passed out. I only remember being given oxygen and then waking up in a different room.
Im sorry my love. I wish I wouldn’t have said no to saying goodbye.
How do I move on? All I do is keep my mind busy. I haven’t been sleeping well. All I can think about is what they looked like. What I would have named them.
Comments
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I’m sorry for your loss, hugs
I am so sorry for your loss.
You have to feel your emotions to be able to process them if you want to move on. If you truly can’t go to your partner and break down, what kind of a partner are they? Suppressing your emotions to this degree will be detrimental to the relationship in the long run anyway.
You can absolutely break down if you need to. His loss doesn’t outweigh your loss. You both need to grieve together and support each other. I’m sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine. I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks last year and it broke my heart, I can’t imagine a loss at 27 weeks.
Please don’t suppress your feelings for the sake of your partner. You both need to process your pain, and I think doing it together will help. It won’t make it any easier on him for you to hide that it’s hurting you. You should lean on each other, because that’s what helps.
For me, it also helped to do something to acknowledge my baby’s passing. We planted flowers and read scripture and I played a few songs that reminded me of the baby. That little ritual felt like a goodbye, and it helped me. I still had to grieve, and sometimes I still do, but doing something to say goodbye made a difference for me.
Talk to someone about your feelings, whether that’s a therapist or family. For me it helped to talk to both.
I’m so sorry. Praying for you and your family.