I (21M) was in a relationship with someone I genuinely believed was the love of my life (20F). We shared the same faith, had similar values, and connected on a level I never had with anyone before. She was shy, soft-spoken, kind, and had a calming presence I really admired. I saw her as my future wife—someone I wanted to build a peaceful, happy life with.
Our relationship had depth. We made mutual promises—not just the big ones like working through disagreements and never giving up on each other—but even small things, like never leaving each other on seen, and always sending a “goodnight” message to update each other before bed. Those small things mattered to both of us. It made us feel secure and connected.
But about a week before things ended, she went to stay with a close female friend for a while, and during that time, I felt a noticeable shift. She got distant. Our conversations slowed down. Her energy changed. I didn’t push—I just assumed she was busy having fun and wanted some space and I gave it to her. But one night, I sent her a simple “Goodnight, I love you” message… she opened it, and didn’t reply. For a relationship where we both agreed that stuff like that mattered, it felt like a silent warning sign.
The very next day, she saw a post I had reshared on social media—a dumb, edgy joke someone else had screenshotted and posted on X (formerly Twitter). It had that dark humor kind of vibe. I didn’t even think twice before reposting it. To me, it was just an edgy joke—not a personal statement, not an attack on women, and definitely not something I thought would be taken seriously.
This was the post in question:
“What type of pu$$y they used to have to make a mf throw his jacket over a puddle?”
But she saw it, and she took it very seriously. She told me she felt disrespected and hurt, and that the post made her question the kind of man I was. Then she broke up with me. Told me not to contact her again. Deleted me off everything. No conversation, no grace, just cut me off completely.
I was stunned. I’ve never apologized to someone the way I did with her. I dropped every ounce of ego and tried to explain that it was never meant to be offensive. I reminded her of the way I’ve always treated her—with respect, love, and consistency. I even stayed silent after she said “don’t call me” because I thought I was respecting her boundary. I didn’t push further. She in fact meant i should’ve reached out and still called her even if she said i shouldn’t.
I ended up dropping the texting and just called her. And the truth is—I couldn’t even get myself together to explain myself over the phone so we ended up hanging up. After the phone call she deleted me on everything but i still had her number. A lot has been going on, and this is the first moment I’ve had the emotional bandwidth to sit down and express everything, so i wrote her a long message where i properly explained myself and apologized and she read the message but said nothing which is understandable.
The part that stings is… I feel like everything I did for her, everything we built, was thrown away over one post. If I were actually misogynistic, if I disrespected women, if I didn’t value her—I would’ve used her, lied, mistreated her. But I didn’t. I showed up. I gave her love. My parents raised me better than that—especially my father, who taught me how to respect women deeply. That post wasn’t who I am, and she knew that.
I get that I messed up. I’m not playing victim. But I also feel like her reaction was way deeper than just that post. The distance was already there. The left-on-seen, the ignored “I love you,” the sudden shift in energy… it feels like she had already started checking out, and the post just gave her a reason to go.
I don’t know how to feel anymore. I know I’ll have to move on eventually, but it’s hard when it still feels like I wasn’t even heard.
Comments
It’s not the post, she’s using the post as a way out.