I love my boyfriend, but honestly, I feel like he’s so passive. he’s very detached, doesn’t seem to care about anything, doesn’t show me off, forgets important dates, etc. And it’s not even about me specifically; that’s just how he is. I consider myself an attractive woman, both in face and body, because I take good care of myself, I work out and more. Since I was a teenager, I’ve had countless admirers who would literally tear their hearts out for me; they’ve written me poems, told me I’m the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen, among other over-the-top gestures. And that doesn’t flatter me or boost my ego, on the contrary, it makes me feel bad, because I realize my boyfriend sees me as nothing special. I dress up nicely to go out with him, and he doesn’t compliment my outfit or anything. His opinion would be the only one that matters to me, and he doesn’t even give me one. I don’t know what to do anymore, because I really love him, but he doesn’t make any effort. I need passion, and he doesn’t even do the bare minimum.
I love my boyfriend, but he treats me like I’m not important.
r/Advice
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It sounds like the two of you have nothing in common.
And respectfully, this has absolutely nothing to do with you as a person, your appearance, or anything else that you described above.
Rather, this is all about him, and the fact that he has absolutely no respect for your thoughts or your feelings.
I’m really curious how it is that you “love” this individual given the fact that he gives you absolutely nothing that you need.
(In fact, that is the most interesting thing about your post, to me anyway.)
If you are not getting your needs met and he treats you like an appliance (only pays attention when he wants something), then it’s not love. It’s a recreation of childhood trauma and he feels familiar, you’ve mistaken that for love.
You’re trying to dig up some water from a dried up well.
The very fact that you’re asking why he doesn’t do the things that make your heart happy is already the answer—he doesn’t love you the way you need and want. Find someone who cherishes you for who you truly are, so you won’t spend a lifetime explaining your soul to someone unwilling to understand it.
Dude, sounds like your self-worth is taking a hit here. I get that u love him, but remember – love isn’t all about tolerating bs. Ur a catch! If he ain’t appreciating ya, maybe it’s time to reassess the situation. Passion ain’t a one-way street my friend, know ur worth and stand firm on it. Not telling you to dump him straight-up, just sayin’ you deserve someone who freaking adores you! Life’s too short to be with someone who forgets how dope you really are. 💪👀🔥
you want what romantic media promised you since you were a child.. the fairy tail romance, the explosive passion, the dramatic up’s and downs.. what you want is porn disguised as a relationship, what you want is wish-fulfilment. you want him to be your pornstar in the relationship, the same way men with porn addiction want their girlfriend or wife, to be a porn star in sex. its unfair to both women and men, who are targets of wishfulfilment. I bet too, that he comes from a single mother household, as many men are raised to defer to women, both at home and at school, so its normal for him to defer to you, it aint his fault, he is a product of the culture that raised him. so have some grace for him, and open up, not in accusation of what he is not doing, rather be open and vulnerable with him directly, and have a conversation of connection on what kind of life you want to have with him, while listening to what he says, not how you feel about what he says, when it comes to his vision and perspective too. for a relationship to work, there needs to be an us vs the issue/problem perspective, not a me vs you stance on who is right, not what is right. and that takes consideration, kindness and accountability to comprehend. all the best.
To me, personally, it sounds like you two have different love languages and/or needs in a relationship and he isn’t fulfilling yours. I’m not going to make assumptions about him, neither am I going to make assumptions about you. What I will tell you is to maybe look more into love languages and such. It sounds like your love language may be words of affirmation, or at least part of it, and that’s perfectly fine! The issue is that he’s not meeting that need. You both deserve to be in a happy relationship where your needs are being met and you feel fully loved and acknowledged. If he’s not doing that for you, maybe it’s time to question the relationship. Love alone is never a good enough foundation to save a relationship. There needs to be mutual respect and acceptance, and both parties need to feel as though their emotional needs are being met.
I wish you the best, OP!
i was in the same situation too.. after 2 years and a half I decided to stop the relationship because it didn’t made me anymore happy and i saw in his comportment that i don’t mean anything to him. So for me, it was the Best choice ever :)))
You deserve better, if he treats you like you are not important you should leave him