Tldr below + throwaway because he knows know my Reddit.
My(F23) boyfriend (M25) and I have been together for three years, and we’re very much in love. I have no plans to leave him..he’s my person. About over a year ago, his best friend (M26) lost his job and his GF dumped him. And my boyfriend offered and insisted to let him stay with us until he got back on his feet without consulting me. I won’t lie, I was very upset. I wasn’t happy about sharing our space with one of his friends..but also I didn’t want to be that person who pushes out someone my boyfriend clearly cares so much about. So I decided to be patient and let him have his way.
A few months in, the guy and I actually became good friends. I started to see why he was my boyfriends best friend. He’s loyal, kind, funny and easy to get along with. I realised just how much we had in common. We share the same sense of humour, similar interests, and the kind of easy banter that feels like it’s always been there. I feel like I’ve known him forever.
Over time, it stopped feeling like it was just my boyfriend and me it naturally became us three. We started doing everything together cooking, grabbing dinner, spending lazy evenings in, even going on trips abroad. It never felt forced. It just… fit. Like he belonged with us, Like our home wasn’t fully whole without him in it.
We would plan our free time to make sure we would always be free at the same time. Sometimes during drunk nights out we come home and we all sleep in the same bed nothing sexual, just sleeping and cuddling it’s so comfortable the three of us together. It started to feel like homw, well for me at least.
He’s a very tactile and friendly person to me and my boyfriend. He’ll brush my hair when I’m unwell , and he helps take care of me with my boyfriend or if he’s sick we will look after him or we will look after my boyfriend. We all look after one another like a family would. I trust him my boyfriend trusts him. It’s just the kind of relationship we developed over time.
I think that’s why it hit me so hard the other night when he told me he’s planning to move out next month. He got a new job 6 months ago and said he can’t stay with us forever. He hugged me saying thank you and something in me just quietly cracked.
I didn’t understand at that moment but now i think about it ..I do. I love him..and I’m realising it now. It’s not about anything physical…yet? Because I’m just realising these feelings, (even though i do find him attractive). But It’s deeper than that. I love him as a person, completely. And I feel like I will grieve the day he leaves.
I don’t really know what to do with these feelings. Maybe it sounds selfish, but I didn’t know it was possible to truly love two people at once. And yet I do. Loving him hasn’t taken anything away from what I have with my boyfriend. If anything, it’s made my heart feel even fuller. I would never leave my boyfriend. I’m just an ashamed I feel this way it’s not normal. I feel conflicted about all of these feelings. I know I shouldn’t feel this way. I can’t help it. I will eventually have to tell my boyfriend. Just wanted to say this or write this somewhere
Tldr: I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for four years, and his best friend moved in with us to get back on his feet. Over time, I became really close to him, and now I realize I’ve developed feelings for him. I’m confused and feel guilty because I would never leave my boyfriend
Comments
No offense here and I understand your honesty, but this sounds selfish as fuck.
Like do you honestly think the friend likes being the third wheel? Do you think he likes the prospect of sharing you with another man? Do you think he likes that he hangs out with you and your boyfriend and then at the end of the night you go to this other man’s bed?
How do you think that makes him feel? What if he did start to catch feelings for you and then constantly has to watch you be romantic with the other man?
And you have the audacity to come on here and talk about being in love with him, while also having a boyfriend, lol.
Like you literally spit in his face and disrespect his dignity by treating him as a “kind of boyfriend but not really.”
Lol.
I’d fuckin move out too.
He deserves better.
My heart kinda broke reading this.. 💙💙 I feel for you. If only you could be some sort of throuple 🙃