I love spicy food and my mouth can handle spice really easy but my ass cannot. How can I fix this?

r/

Do I just have to get use to it? Does it get better? I am seriously debating by buying a dildo and putting hot sauce on it and fucking my ass until it gets use to it

Comments

  1. Concise_Pirate Avatar

    Alas, matey, ye must just get used to it. If that’s good enough for Anthony Bourdain, it’s good enough for ye and me.

  2. BassoTi Avatar

    Everything requires a sacrifice. I know what’s going to happen when I eat spicy food. I accept that. I choose to eat fire thus I must shit fire.

  3. jinstewart Avatar

    I myself pre-apply Vaseline. I’d avoid the whole spicy-dildo-arse thing there (no good will come of this.)

  4. Water_Spirit22 Avatar

    My quirk is my mouth can handle it, my ass can handle it, but my tear ducts act as if my relative just died

  5. Belle-llama Avatar

    I eat 4 rolaids or tums just before eating spicy food.

  6. kritzerrrr Avatar
  7. DifficultPurpose6057 Avatar

    I feel like you got a little extreme there.. lmao

  8. ksh1elds555 Avatar

    A bidet helps keep things clean and cool down there.

  9. merrilll92106 Avatar

    I’ve seen my share of weird conversations on Reddit but this gets a 9.5 on the weirdometer Richter scale 😩🙄

  10. agit_bop Avatar

    im having this same conversation with my family and friends like…

    the time for your “love” of any kind of food that is detrimental to your body in some way is OVERRR. give it up. please. we cannot stir fry everything anymore. we will die.

  11. Beccachicken Avatar

    Have a glass of milk.
    Get a bidet.

  12. GlumFaithlessness392 Avatar

    I heard someone suggest having ice cream for dessert ( I assume any dairy would help)

  13. hailclo Avatar

    Before you poo stick ice cubes up there after apply diaper cream

  14. Sonderhue Avatar

    I love extremely spicy food too because it reminds me of rough sex for some reason, but this- this is something else. Wtf

  15. PsychologicalLog4179 Avatar

    You have a solid plan. Go get busy chief.

  16. FIY-GOD_404 Avatar

    A doctor should
    Help

  17. iTwango Avatar

    How spicy are you guys eating that this is a problem?????

    All I can say is get and use a bidet I guess

  18. ZombieBreath13 Avatar

    An antacid should help

  19. SnowblindOtter Avatar

    Spray pepper spray up your ass. You won’t feel it.

  20. Glindanorth Avatar

    Preparation-H wipes. So, so soothing.

  21. airheadtiger Avatar

     Come on ice cream !!

  22. CellularWaffle Avatar

    I don’t eat enough fiber so I shit once a day. This helps. I’ve noticed if i shit shortly after eating spicy food it hurts more

  23. BarRegular2684 Avatar

    Dairy. Consume with your spicy torture food. Raita is traditional but I prefer tzatziki. Plain old Greek yogurt is also fine.

  24. SharpTool7 Avatar

    Stop feeding your ass spicy food. Clearly it does not want it.

  25. _ultra_saucy_ Avatar

    Pre-apply Desitin maximum strength original paste. It keeps your skin from experiencing… whatever it’s gonna be touching. Apply it thoroughly and make sure to get up there with it a bit. That stuff will save your skin from ANYTHING.

  26. BubatzAhoi Avatar

    Shove some ranch up your butt

  27. Queenbeeofbees_13 Avatar

    invest in some chipoltAWAY!

  28. hausccat Avatar

    The mouth is willing but the butthole is spongey and weak

  29. Good-Security-3957 Avatar
  30. jmerp1950 Avatar

    Eat spicy food more often your ass will learn it’s okay after a bit. I used to eat only one jalapeno pepper for lunch but after a while I could eat more with no problem.

  31. sc0veney Avatar

    real shit, start taking heartburn medication. it helps with the acidity of things on the way out too, in my experience. even just having some tums on hand and taking them after you eat will help.

  32. lepolygame Avatar

    Gently push a Carolina Reaper up your winker. I bet your butt will go numb for the rest of your life after that one.

  33. X24ZthagameX Avatar

    Become one with the burn

  34. Flyingarrow68 Avatar

    As Cheech said in Up n Smoke ‘C’mon ice cream’

  35. Turbowookie79 Avatar

    Johnny scoville says your butthole will get used to it eventually. Apparently your mouth, stomach and butt gain tolerance at different intervals.

  36. poopinmypanty Avatar

    Need to get you a new ass

  37. AceGeddit Avatar

    Pregame yogurt

  38. BustedBaxter Avatar

    yogurt and a banana

  39. Arconomach Avatar

    So, is the burning poop a real thing? I’ve heard about it, but never had it happen to me. Occasionally I’ll have a mildly active stomach, but that’s it.

    I always thought it was something only in silly movies and stuff like that.

    Extra spicy is my preferred flavor.

  40. StrangersWithAndi Avatar

    When you go real hot, diaper cream and tucks cooling wipes the next day will save your other mucus membranes. Gotta go professional grade.

  41. PointlessChemist Avatar

    When you eat spicy food make sure you get a lot of fiber. Either vegetables or with psyllium husk.

  42. itchygentleman Avatar

    Drink milk after you eat, to neutralize some of the spice in your stomach

  43. Freedom_58 Avatar

    Yes, please do that and update us. 😂

  44. wadejohn Avatar

    You just need people to validate your theory don’t you

  45. CompoundT Avatar

    Eat the food through your ass and see if your mouth can handle it coming out. Then you’ll know it has something to do with the in-between. 

  46. SoyEseVato Avatar

    C’mon ice cream!

  47. yesiamveryhigh Avatar

    Try doing it reverse

  48. Mr_Gaslight Avatar

    Keep your toilet paper in the freezer.

  49. pinkyandthebrain-ama Avatar

    Soothing suppositories. No dildos or hot sauce needed… Unless you’re into that thing…

  50. FlagrantlyChill Avatar

    Try different spices. Indian spice has a burn that starts slow and burns on the way out. Try Vietnamese or Chinese (schewan maybe) spice and as always start slow

  51. ___HeyGFY___ Avatar

    Simplest answer, balance your diet.

    I love to dice a habanero in a garden salad. But I will use something like a creamy Greek or ranch dressing to help counteract the capsaicin.

  52. iSeize Avatar

    I do think you would get used to it. But you could also stop eating so much spicy food lol and take it down a notch, just to keep both mouth and ass happy.

    For example I can eat habanero wings very easily but my guts don’t handle it so well. So I just order hot wings instead.

  53. JonWithTattoos Avatar

    Don’t put spicy food in your ass?

  54. Kennyvee98 Avatar

    Homer used a candle for his insides. So maybe that. Probably easier if you have a mistress. 👁️👄👁️

  55. Own-Distribution-193 Avatar

    Cream cheese your balloon knot.

  56. accidentalscientist_ Avatar

    I like to pregame an antacid and some fiber pills before I eat spicy food. I find it helps. But also if I know I’m going to poop lava, I with lather my hole with prep h cream. Helps sooth everything.

  57. Maleficent_Proof3621 Avatar

    Your mouth and asshole are different. Hope this helps

  58. Ilostmypassword43 Avatar

    Well, how did your mouth build up a distance?

  59. milesamsterdam Avatar

    I have a bidet and that helps.

  60. tboy160 Avatar

    I was in my late 20’s when it started to burn coming out. I do NOT enjoy that at all, so I scaled back. I still eat hot food more than most, but I’m not ordering 2x hott at the Thai restaurant anymore

  61. Electronic_Stop_9493 Avatar

    Tolerance. The same nerve endings in your mouth are in your butt and interprets the capsacian as pain signal.

    Raw chillies used to be painful the next day but aren’t anymore. I think in hot sauces because it’s not a solid being passed are less painful but the raw pepper has to be digested and crapped out so it can be more painful. A tolerance for one does t equal the other

  62. ilovestoride Avatar

    Get some of that numbing gel for toothaches and shove it up your butt. 

  63. suboptimus_maximus Avatar

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – I really wish numbing spice worked on the way out the way hot spice does.

  64. Motor_Ad_4427 Avatar

    Just don’t shit

  65. MrPickles196 Avatar

    Capsaicin suppository.

  66. Rich-Appearance-7145 Avatar

    Eventually no worries, although on the rare occasion I eat some out of this world hot sauce and over do it I will pay.

  67. Jaralto Avatar

    I don’t eat pepper seeds and pith at home. Restaurants I suffer lol. Mmmm panang curry….

  68. cidiusgix Avatar

    I never realized how prevalent the connection of spicy food and spicy shit is. It’s something that doesn’t happen to me. I did not know.

  69. Severe-Election615 Avatar

    Tum.ta ..tum,tums…

  70. SweatsuitCocktail Avatar

    Homer Simpson once drank a candle before eating the world’s hottest peppers, so maybe give that a shot

  71. Kevvo16 Avatar

    Shove it up your butt!

  72. Swifty-Dog Avatar

    Freeze the toilet paper the night before.

  73. PoolMotosBowling Avatar

    You build to a tolerance. I eat spicy to the point I perspire almost every day.

    Only when I get the sweats, running nose and go too hot do I feel it anymore.

  74. WInativemm Avatar

    Try butt chugging some milk ahead of time.

  75. Severe-Election615 Avatar

    WAIT, BAG BALM FOR BUNG HOLIO!!!!

  76. SuccessfulSchedule54 Avatar

    what a day to be literate

  77. Achilles720 Avatar

    Eat a big spoonful of sour cream afterwards. It cools both ends.

  78. JTitleist Avatar

    Squeeze bottle of ranch… you’ll know what to do.

  79. F5oclockcomeback Avatar

    Take fiber and have some dairy when you eat spicy food. It works very well.

  80. lordcanonsnowily Avatar

    google montelukast IBS. i found that i barely ever had an episode after i started for asthma

  81. T_DeadPOOL Avatar

    I am the same

    Tums like 5 of them right away.

    A tall glass of milk.

    Another Glass of milk

    Tums before bed.

    Pepto on standby.

  82. Specialist-Leave699 Avatar

    It’s surreal, I literally came here to ask the same question (minus the dildo part lmao). If personal testimony helps, no, even though I can now happily eat 3X Buldak and fried chicken soaked entirely in chili oil, I still get woken up with horrendous intestinal pain exactly like menstrual cramps and the capsacin still hurts on its way out and it’s probably never getting better. Idk why evolution gave us such sensitive skin down there. Maybe so that we’d notice small injuries down there because infections there are dangerous? But what’s a dumbass prehistoric human gonna do about the fact that his asshole hurts?

  83. EchidnaStorm Avatar

    Try having something milk based afterwards. Or use another method to help to cut down on the acid in your stomach.

  84. FredCole918 Avatar

    Reverse where the food goes in?

  85. Dog_Baseball Avatar

    Wow I was not expecting that last sentence in your post. Let us know if that works out for you

  86. Minute-Object9464 Avatar

    Imodium, or only eat the foods you love at home or like weekends when you don’t have work or commitments. TREAT YO SELF!!

  87. mysteriouslypuzzled Avatar

    Eat the spicy food with your ass and shoot the fire out of your mouth…

  88. Lurker_the_Pip Avatar

    I don’t create the enzymes to break down spicy food so…

    I can’t eat it.

    That suffering hurts because it causes damage.

  89. Get_your_grape_juice Avatar

    And it burns, burns, burns… the ring of fire… the ring of fire.

  90. condensedmic Avatar

    Take a teaspoon of Pepto preemptively.

  91. prolifezombabe Avatar

    I’m South Asian. My mom would say eat some yogurt and cucumber with your meal and also cooling fruits to balance.

  92. MacDaddyDC Avatar

    stop eating spicy stuff with your ass?

  93. OuterInnerMonologue Avatar

    You either have a cast iron asshole. Or not. Probably genetics. But as a Mexican here’s what I’ve learned:

    1. eat a lot WITH the chili. The more food. The slower the absorption, the slower the processing. So that spicy hell will be spread out more

    2. neutralize the acids and fire. Citrus. Dairy. There’s a reason they put crema and lime with the salsa. Not just taste, but health. Drinking milk doesn’t help your mouth on fire but it’ll help your stomach neutralize the acids.

    3. chew more before swallowing. Let your saliva start breaking down those acids and napalm before your stomach has to do it. And believe me your stomach is thinking “fuck that, it’s colons problem”, and colon is thinking “hard pass, you’re up asshole”.

    4. invest in a bidet.

    5. suck it up. Enjoy the pain. My kid always asks me “why do you keep eating that hot stuff if it hurts so much?”

    Cuz it’s delicious and I love it.

  94. GreatPretender98z Avatar

    “I am seriously debating by buying a dildo and putting hot sauce on it and fucking my ass until it gets use to it” I am certainly the first person in my bloodline to read such a sentence.

  95. CaptionCrunchBird Avatar

    Actually the hot sauce dildo experiment was tried decades ago but famed sexual explorer Gay Telese. Being in the jungle on a nature trek anyway when he did the dildo hot sauce experiment he managed to swim across the raging Amazon River but landed in the camp of a cannibal tribe and was promptly eaten because they put that shit on everything.

  96. Wild_Cow5052 Avatar

    It’s the same the other way around too — your mouth could never handle what your ass can. 😏

  97. Guilty-Importance241 Avatar

    It’s easy, just eat using your mouth

  98. No_Salad_68 Avatar

    I find it’s not as bad if I eat yoghurt straight after or with spicy food.

  99. VengefulAncient Avatar

    Don’t eat with your ass

  100. increddibelly Avatar

    I recommend eating with your mouth unless your onlyfans is doing really really well, then it might be worth some discomfort if it meams.not working for a month.

  101. DogKnowsBest Avatar

    Just eat the food. Stop shoving some of it up your ass.

  102. shizbox06 Avatar

    If you don’t listen to your own asshole, what does that make you?