i (m19) have no idea how to go about a future relationship.

r/

hello! i haven’t posted anything like this before so i apologize if this is the wrong subreddit for this, please let me know if it is!

anyway, i’m gonna keep this short & sweet because the one i had typed earlier was wayyyyy too long.

ever since i started having serious relationships, they’ve all been extremely toxic. some being emotionally toxic/abusive, others being physically abusive.

i’ve been self-reflecting & trying to get better as a person & better mentally after my last relationship & the people around me have noticed a lot of improvement & are very proud of me.

though there’s one thing i’m not sure how to fix. i’ve noticed the only way i feel loved now is in toxic forms of love. i have people who are very interested in me & i really like this specific guy (& he likes me back). he’s very sweet & means a lot to me but im nervous to pursue anything with him because of this weird need for toxicity.

does anyone know how i can possibly fix this mindset? i know it will take a long time, but i can’t keep thinking like this.

TL;DR – all i’ve experienced is toxic relationships & now that’s the only way i feel loved, how do i fix that mindset?