I ‘21M’ and my gf ‘21F’ have been together for 3 years. It has been a rough road for the both of us between living together and separately. The problem that I have is from the time that we started dating up until 9 months ago she was a great woman. She was smart, ambitious, our goals and values aligned, she was caring and loving. So she was a very great person and I loved her so much. However her family is what you would consider the ghetto stereotype of not working, living off of ebt and section 8, always getting into fights or causing problems with other people/police, and not having there lives together, dirty homes etc. About 9 months ago while I was living with her, her mother, and her siblings, we got kicked out of the home in the nice town we lived in. I stayed by her side even though I could go back to my parents house at any time, we went from hotel to hotel until her mom found an apartment in a town where her entire family lives. (When we were living together she had warned me about the type of people her family were). The problem that I’m having now is that she has gotten so close to them that she doesn’t come to me for support or help, she gets involved in all of their drama, and takes there advice. It’s gotten to the point where I believe she is putting her family completely above me and to me they are bad influences and not good people. She has seemed to change and I’m becoming very conflicted because I am going to the Army in 2 months and we are supposed to get married I’m just unsure if this is a good idea when the people that are closest to her are just terrible. On top of that her mother is her best friend while being like the rest of the family, she has threatened my gf with kicking her out, treats her like a maid making her clean and take care of her little sisters while her mother sits on the couch. My gf is on the light bill which her mother refuses to pay the $2,500 that is only going to increase, while also refusing to give a ride to her college classes, threatening to hit her, ect. Just so many bad things yet she stills keeps forgiving her mom and keeping a tight relationship with her. Where do you think I should go from here? (I’m not trying to put blame on anyone for how they live there lives but I want to make sure I don’t make a mistake with a marriage)
TL;DR
My gf has a terrible family her mother abuses her, her family are bad influences all while maintaining a strong connection to them. I’m wondering about saying nvm to getting married before I go to the Army. What would be the best idea to move about this?