I (M24) broke up with my gf (F23) after a year but then I got back together with her but I’m having second thoughts

r/

So I (m24) broke up with my girlfriend of 1 year about a month ago, then we started speaking again and I got back with her but I’ve been having second thoughts. My friends tell me I’m an idiot(which is true) and I feel like if I break up with her again I’ll cause her so much pain(obviously). But there’s a reason for this, let me explain. It’s currently 1am for me and I can’t sleep because it’s running loops in my mind. So we met online, she lives 2 hours away. We never saw each other once in the whole year and few months we were together.

Initially it was alright, we spoke all the time and we always voice noted and face timed each other. A few times I had wanted to meet up but she always had an excuse. We spoke about it before we got back together and she says she was just scared to meet up. She kinda was rude to me at times and towards the last 3 months before I broke up with her she just got super super distant. Barley spoke to me, left me on delivered for hours on end, super blunt in replies. It reached a tipping point and I decided to sack it off as it was affecting me mentally. She blocked me on everything instantly and replied to me by text. Month later post breakup and she “accidentally” sends me a gif on TikTok, I cave and reply.

We slowly get to speaking again and after a few weeks I end up saying to her that I still had feelings and end up getting back with her. It’s been about 2ish weeks since we’ve gotten back together and it just feels off, I still haven’t met up with her. She says she realised she can’t live without me and I’ve said the same but I’ve not really been feeling that way. I told her it feels off after a few days but I wouldn’t give up and try work it through, but I don’t feel any different to back then. I say I love you back to her but I don’t feel it that much to be honest. It’s been such a short period of time, the fact I still haven’t seen her, the distance (which isn’t distance at all I mean 2 hours?cmon). I’ve been speaking with my friend that I’ve been boys with since year 7, I think I’ve realised that what I want is someone close to me who I can see regularly. I feel shit for pointing this out but she has a lot of health issues and I just don’t really see a future with her to be completely honest.

I’m here today typing this out on my bed because I’ve been thinking that I should tell it to her straight and seal the deal, I don’t want it to drag on and make her feel more shit even though no matter how I word it, her feeling shit is inevitable. Some might say I’m scared, some might say I’m running away. But I need to do what’s best for me. I know I have feelings her but I still check out other girls. I’m honestly not in the right state of mind to be in a relationship, or at least I don’t think I am. I have so much going on at home that I won’t get into now, I’ve lost my job and lost my house having to move back into my parents house. To add on that the distance to her, the fact that even though it’s not far away we still haven’t seen eachother. She says we will meet up when she’s back from holiday but I’m not sure about that, it’s 3 weeks away before the holiday and that’s another 2 weeks after that till she’s back.

I guess what I’m seeking is validation of my feelings, or a stern speaking to about my state of mind. I feel like I’m toying with her emotions when that’s not my intentions at all. But I understand even if I don’t intend to do something, I’m still doing it right? What are your thoughts guys
TL;DR I broke up with my girlfriend because of how she never wanted to see me but I got back with her and I’m having second thoughts

Comments

  1. FalseDance7779 Avatar

    this is a purely online relationship? don’t have an online girlfriend. there’s no reason to date someone you’ve never seen or met. it’s sus that she keeps dodging it and she seems unwell – saying she can’t live without you is manipulative. you should break up, she’ll get over it.

  2. Smart_Negotiation_31 Avatar

    You haven’t even met her?! Dude, just end it.

  3. matchamagpie Avatar

    Stop wasting her time and your time. You should have stayed broken up.

  4. mew_mew_kitty_kat Avatar

    If she was here writing this post instead of you, would you want her to stay with you? Respect her enough to stop wasting her time.