Is this relationship something that should end?
Context:
My girlfriend does not like when I speak with strong words even when its not directed at her. For instance, words like “shit”, “pitiful”, “stupid”.
An example would be when we talk about maybe a political move. Like Donald Trump imposing tariffs and I mention that its a stupid move by him. She would get angry that I mentioned such strong words.
Another example would be when I look at someone eating cup noodles all day, I would make a joke like “damn that diet looks like some poor college student meal, if I didn’t know he intentionally wants to eat those cup noodles, I would think that his diet looks very sad and pitiful” and that would spark her anger as the words are very strong like me saying his diet looks pitiful and I said the meal looks poor
Last example would be when I just forget something or dropped something and I say “oh shit” and she would get upset over my choice of words
Me personally, I never had anybody tell me about issues with my way of talking and this is my first. Therefore, I just want to know if the issue lies with me or just that we don’t match each other
Comments
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what word would she preferred about the tariffs?
Shes being very dramatic about your word choice. There’s nothing wrong with saying words like “shit” or “stupid”. The only problem I have with what you said is when you were criticizing the guy who was eating noodles. I find it absolutely disgusting when people just start randomly gossiping about other people. Is that a real thing you said, or just an example you made up for the Reddit post? Because if you actually just walk around life making fun of other people like that, then grow up. My ex used to randomly make fun of people for their diet, job, the way they dressed, etc. and he always thought he sounded so superior talking about people but he really just sounded like an insecure child. So to answer your question, should you stop cursing or using strong language? No not at all. Should you stop gossiping about other people’s choices? Yes
I don’t see those as strong words. I don’t really understand her issue.
I wouldn’t date someone who took issue with the way I talk. It just wouldn’t be a good fit.
shes being dramatic
no one wants to be judged, my brother is always telling me to watch my language and it pisses me off.
She’s allowed to not like it, you’re allowed to ignore her. Good luck in the relationship though
I’m sorry she’s 28 and thinks “pitiful” is a “strong” word? Did she grow up super religious or sheltered? Reading the title I thought it would be slurs or super blunt words (like cunt, fuck vs sex, that kind of thing) but this is wild. Why is she so offended by such…. normal words?
If this is something that is incompatible then you probably aren’t right for each other. I don’t date people who needlessly curse so that’s my standard. She has hers and she won’t accept it from you, so I feel like this is something that will just continue.
This is entirely a personal choice. I, personally, would not stay with someone like this. It’s not like she’s asking you not to use profanity – she doesn’t want you to use language that is emphatic or strong in ANY way? SHe doesn’t want you to express yourself freely? You have to watch every single word that comes out of your mouth, or change who you are? Look, she’s allowed to prefer someone who doesn’t take any strong positions, refuses to get emotionally worked up, doesn’t react to surprises, and doesn’t use strong language even when warranted. It’s just that you are NOT that person, and she doesn’t get to insist you change who you are, how you speak, and express yourself. That’s crazy. Imagine a life where you have to self-censor yourself before you open your mouth. Examine every word you’re about to say. I get not wanting to be with someone who is cursing and insulting everyone but you’re allowed to have opinions. If you think something is stupid, you are allowed to say that. She doesn’t get to tell you that you need to use another word when you are DECRIBING YOUR OWN FEELINGS about something. I don’t think she means it thi sway, but it’s very controlling, in a toxic way.
I would just make it clear that this is who you are, you will not tolerate being nitpicked about your choice of words, and if she doesn’t like how you express yourself, you’re probably not compatible and she should look for a different partner.
“I’m not going to choose different words becuase you prefer them. I’m just not. This is who I am, and this is how I express myself. I’m not going to apologize for my choice of words or change everything about how I speak and express myself based on your preferences. This is me, and this is how I speak. If I choose a strong word, it’s because that is how I feel, and you don’t get to argue about how I feel with me. If you don’t like that, we can break up. But you don’t get to tell me to change. You can accept me for who I am, or we can end the relationship. But you need to stop nitpicking my choice of words because I’m not tolerating it anymore. Again, if you don’t like it, you are welcome to break up with me.”
This is dumb. Her getting this upset over words used in conversation or description- is just crazy. Like, for real? She needs to get a grip.