Her younger sister and her sister’s boyfriend contacted me privately with proof that she’d been cheating on me the entire time we were together. The evidence was clear and I confirmed it for myself. That’s when I decided to break things off.
The issue now is that if I tell her the truth, she’ll know her sister was the one who told me, which could destroy their relationship. At the same time, I don’t want to lie about why we broke up.
I’m not sure how to handle explaining (or not explaining) the breakup to her without dragging her family into it.
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I mean it sucks but you don’t really have to tell her anything
Is it possible to say you know without implicating the sister?
Either don’t explain anything to anybody and move on with your life, or tell the truth if asked and let her deal with the consequences of her actions.
Well you don’t owe her an apology.
Her Sister did you a favor showing you all the “evidence” don’t put her in that spot.
If they asked you not to tell her, I would respect that request. You probably wouldn’t have found out without their help.
You don’t really have to explain anything though. Just tell her that you’ve lost feelings and you don’t see this working out anymore.
Then don’t show proof? Tell her you know she cheated and then just leave. Don’t bother with proving to her that you know she lies when she denies it. You both know she lies. No reason to go down this rabbit hole
Pretend you saw her cheat.
Just tell her you have proof and you are done.
Tell her you witnessed it, it’s over, and you’ve met someone else (even if you haven’t).
You owe her nothing.
I think she knows what she has done and this calling and texting is her fear and denial coming through do not respond and after a few days she’ll probably get to some form of accepting that you aren’t giving into her odd demands of explaining more than you already have done. If you keep responding she’ll see it as you letting her control your boundaries and your perspective.
Why do you have to tell her anything. Let your silence do the talking.
What everyone else said: just don’t implicate the sister.
But this whole problem doesn’t really sound real. Why would someone’s sister help you and not side with her? Why would your ex hound you for a real reason?
Personally, i dont know if i could keep a secret like that. I feel like i would have told her the second i saw they reached out to me.
I mean tbh, you dont owe her an explanation… i mean unless you want to have some sort of relationship in the future—whether it’s friendship or romantic—you totally could just never contact her again
This honestly sounds like a weird n messy situation? Her family is kinda weird for telling on her like that? Im sorry she was cheating on u the whole time tho, that’s seriously awful to
Buddy you know she cheated and she knows she cheated. She just wants to know what you know so she can lie to you better. She can’t start making excuses until she finds out.
You don’t have to tell her why, just tell her you lost feelings for her, which is true. Or if you want a little petty revenge, don’t give her any reason and just block her everywhere afterwards and let her stew about it. And do it by text.
Just tell her someone that knows the guy told you. You’re not lying and you don’t need to prove any to her. Did she ever admit it after confronting her, or is she still wondering why you dumped her.
She’s a cheater, so she’s a liar, and denial is all part of her personality. Eventually she’ll tire of trying to prove how she’s a good person and leave you alone. At least she can’t cheat on you anymore. Let time prevail.
Tell her you hired a private investigator or use the info you have to actually catch her.
Just tell her that you lost feelings, you don’t love her anymore, and you want to date other people.
Tell her that someone you both know saw her out with the guy. If that’s a possibility. But don’t bring the sis into it. She did the right thing by being way more decent than your ex. If you gave her sister your word, you keep your word on your end. That’s the difference between you and ex, integrity! She probably is hounding you because she’s mad as hell you found out and may have a suspicion it was her sister but do not confirm that she is was the one. It probably wasn’t easy to do for her sister but she did you a huge favor and that took guts and bravery. Don’t make sis regret being kind and helpful. Tell your ex “you cheated and we both know It and I’m not the one here that owes any explanation for anything. Tell her she lost her privileges to know anything about your life once she cheated and that info is not her right to have. She’s the one wrong. Tell her if she keeps contacting you you’ll be going to the cops for harassing you after being told multiple times to stop. Tell her this is her final time being told. If she does it again, stand on what you said and tell police and she’ll have to leave you alone or face more consequences for her actions. Tell her it’s time she grow up and next time have the common decency to end a relationship before she sleeps with someone else. She’s not sorry, she’s sorry your found out but more so it sounds like she’s mad bc she can’t get that info out of you. I would not give her the pleasure of knowing how she was busted.