I’m 18 now, but earlier today, I found myself thinking about something from when I was 12. I was kind of a weird kid and at that time, I asked a friend if I could carry hug her at school, but she said no. Fast forward to today, and I was kind of in the mood, using my mind to arouse myself and cycling through different thoughts. One of those thoughts was about that memory, but as I started to get aroused, I realized it felt weird since I’m 18 now and that memory is from when I was younger. I didn’t want to keep thinking about it, so I quickly changed my focus and started imagining both myself and the other person older in my mind before finishing.
At first, I was imagining the person I had asked to hug, but then my mind shifted, and I started imagining someone else who I didn’t even know when I was 12. Even though I was thinking about someone I know now, I still envisioned myself as 12 in that memory. I didn’t think much about the other person’s age in the moment—it wasn’t about their age, it was more about the action and what was happening in the thought. When I realized how it felt, I quickly shifted my thoughts to something else.
I’ve been really been panicking, and honestly had some insane post nut clarity since. Is this something concerning?
Comments
Something tells me you have no clarity at all
Honestly being worried that it’s an issue is a good sign that you don’t have a over-arching problem, if this memory gives you arousal then I do think it’s good to ask yourself why it gives you this feeling and given how worried you are about this I don’t think it arouses you that they were 12 but how you seen that person when you were 12 I think it’s definitely something to look into with maybe a therapist or someone you trust but no I don’t think you’re doing it in a creepy “I like kids” way our brains can revert to younger selfs in vulnerable situations especially if a memory gives us a feeling of arousal for example if you had a sexual encounter with someone at 12 then thinking about that situation would still make you feel aroused because it was your feelings at the time not necessarily how old you guys are if that makes sense