I’m (F20) leaving for college in a few days and had plans with my friend (F19) to hang out before I go. We were both excited to walk around a strip mall and catch up. A couple hours before, my advisor emailed about an urgent class issue and could only meet at 1 PM—the exact time we’d planned. I already told my friend I could only hang out for two hours because of moving prep.
I hate canceling last minute, but I texted her, explained the situation, and apologized a lot, promising to make it up to her. She just replied with short “ok” or “it’s fine” messages. I thought it was okay at first, but now it’s been a few days and she leaves my texts on read. I can tell she’s hurt, and I’m not sure how to make things right. What should I do?
Comments
Just be real with her. Send a sincere apology, acknowledge you let her down, and set a concrete plan to hang out before you leave. Actions will fix more than “sorry” ever will.
Leave it be for now. Don’t want to end up in a fight over something that isn’t really the important thing that is happening right now – your dynamic is changing, I’d try your best to let it go, pretty sure she’ll reach out.
Ayy, sounds like a rough spot, bro. IMO, she’s gotta understand that unexpected stuff can indeed pop up, especially when you’re juggling college stuff. But, you did bail last min and it stings, I get it. Maybe send her a sincere handwritten letter? Address the sitch but also talk bout the good times you had and the future plans. Also, throw in a small surprise? A thing she likes or some inside joke? Might make things lighter. Hope it goes well my dude. 👍
Have you tried calling her? Texting is so “convenient”, but that means it can become counter-productive, and it seems you’ve reached that point.
Also, are you at all pissed at her? I ask because, unless you have a habit of ditching her, this is a big over-reaction on her part. Then the next question is whether or not she has a habit of over-reacting. If she doesn’t, maybe something’s going on with her that has nothing to do with you.
reach out in a way that shows u really want to see her before you leave. Instead of just texting, maybe send a longer message or even a voice note explaining how much she means to you. Even if she’s still upset, the effort will show. Sometimes, it’s not about the cancelation itself, but about showing you still care enough to fix it