We’ve known each other for 6-7 years. We talk almost every day. It’s not a romantic relationship, but the emotional connection is deep—at least for me.
Lately, I’ve been feeling drained. When she takes hours or a whole day to reply, it affects my mood. I keep checking if she’s online or active, and I hate that I care this much. It’s messing with my head.
She doesn’t owe me anything, I know that. But it hurts feeling like I care more than she does. I want to pull back, focus on myself, set boundaries… but it’s so hard.
What makes it worse is that whenever I think about finally letting go, I get scared. I’m afraid of the emotional crash, the depression, the emptiness that might come with detaching. That process terrifies me.
Has anyone gone through something like this? How did you detach without guilt or falling apart mentally?
Comments
I kinda question if this is more than a friendship. Perhaps subconciously, you want it to be more. If not – finding a partner should be a priority for you. We all need someone to share life with. It is great that you’ve had this friend. But don’t you want more? Someone who committs and loved you just as much? It is worth it to find, if not with her, than someone else. If you find that with someone else, you will not have to rely on her. You are codependent because you arent giving yourself the freedom to have the feelings that connection gives you with anyone else. So make a decison. Maybe see how she feels about you. Is it platonic- or maybe she has feelings causing her to distance herself from you. This will all help with closure. Edit: grammar
Sometimes we get so deep into something that we don’t even realize it. I went through a similar experience for just six months, and even that left me emotionally shattered when I caught feelings. I confessed, and he did too—but later he backtracked, saying we should just stay friends. It took a serious toll on me mentally and emotionally. Letting go off someone when you still love them is mankind’s one of the most excruciating pain. That was just six months—yours has been six years, and I can only imagine the attachment you must have developed. Like the person above said, it’s important to have an open conversation. If you both have feelings, that’s wonderful—go for it! But if not, I’d urge you to take a step back now before it gets any harder. I truly hope you both feel the same and no one has to go through any pain. Fingers crossed.
you’re not trying to detach from her—you’re trying to detach from the emotional fix she became
this isn’t friendship anymore, it’s emotional codependency dressed in casual texts
you built a bond, maybe even fell a little in love with the attention, the routine, the illusion of mutuality
but now you’re realizing—she doesn’t think about you the way you think about her
and yeah, that hurts
here’s how you break it without breaking yourself:
you don’t need her to stop caring
you need you to stop tying your self-worth to her replies