I bought my home with my boyfriend this year, maybe a couple months ago. Right away my sister moved in from living in someone’s camper outside to my garage. We made an agreement about payment and my rules for my house and it was agreed. Well recently she’s just been doing whatever she wants whenever she wants. Moves my things that she doesn’t like to other places she does. Takes my laundry out of the washer and sets it on top of the dryer so she can do a full cycle. She’s been showering twice a day, and using twice the electricity (and water) with TWO AC’S in the garage. (She had one but it wasn’t cooling it enough I guess, my garage isn’t that big) We had agreed when it was just her there to pay a certain amount each month but she now has a DOG AND A BOYFRIEND. And they are all using way too much. I didn’t agree to any of this, and I’m not sure what to do about it. I’ve gotten advice to write a notarized letter and give her 30 days to leave. There was an incident already where the door was locked and she busted my window in to climb in, started throwing shit and telling me not to lock her out of “her” house. I’m just not sure what to do. I’ve never had a normal sister relationship and I thought helping her have a place to live was what I was supposed to do, but now I see I’m just enabling entitled and bratty behavior. Any advice on how to handl this? Thank you in advance for any advice🙏❤️
I need help evicting my sister
r/Advice
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See an attorney. If it’s possible to get rid of her by putting her stuff outside and changing the locks, do so. If she breaks your window and climbs in, call the police and have her arrested.
I wish you the very best of luck.
You got to get proper legal help on this, the rules vary depending on where you are.
This falls under the saying: “No good deed goes unpunished”
Call a legal service and have them help you to properly evict her. The cost will be saved quickly based on the savings once she and crew move out.
It will get ugly and you will have to be the “bad guy” which will be tough since you are really a nice person based on you trying to help her. Steel yourself to decide to get her out, even if it requires the cops to come move her stuff out, then hold on and be prepared to have her arrested if she breaks in again or damages your property in the future.
Hopefully she will grow up and become more rational in the future to understand you gave her the tough love she needed, but don’t count on it.
Give her a notice of eviction, with a firm eviction date. After that date, when she leaves, move all her stuff outside in a pile, and change the locks (if she has a key or garage code). If she tries to get in, call the police. Your relationship with her is probably over. I’m sorry you’re in this situation. I hope your family is supportive of you.
If she doesn’t ever leave the garage/house, you will need to start official eviction proceedings.
In my state if a person stays for a certain amount of time or more the. You need to evict them legally. Based on the squatter issues going on it’s likely you do also. Is your apartment a legal apartment with permits? If not you can have a neighbor complain to you that they are going to call in the town officials. Then she’d have to move out. You only have a verbal agreement do write up a lease based on the original agreement. If she insists on boyfriend and dog increase the rent on the lease. Also notify her in writing that she has not paid rent in x months and she has to start paying on or by x date and add to that the monthly rate of back rent she owes and that gets added to what she pays each month. Check your state laws on eviction then on the form state that she,by law, can only miss x payments before she will be evicted. Then send that letter to her requiring a signature so you can prove she saw it. Plus add a signature line for her on the notice and state to return the signed copy to you via email. Then follow your state laws for the eviction process. Having had to evict someone this is likely what the attorney will recommend but still get an attorney you won’t have to go to court and deal with your sister in court as this happens.
Advice!? Yes, you need to evict her promptly.
Be the dam BOSS of your own home & kick em OUT! Are you waiting for them to self- deport? Cause that’ll never happen. Why would you be taken advantage of in your own home & tolerate the situation?
Consult a lawyer!!! Keep all of your doors to the house locked. Do not allow her to use anything, kitchen, bathroom, laundry, etc. If she breaks into your house again, you call the police. But again consult a lawyer and if he says it’s okay to lock her out of the house then do so if she breaks in call the police. That goes for her boyfriend as well.
Offer her 500.00 dollars to get out, i had rental property and would offer folks 500.00 to get out, and leave the place clean.
You’ll have to follow the eviction laws of your state.
Look up the laws in your state for evicting a lodger… you are living in your home and she is counted as a lodger. You probably have to give her 30 days notice or something that she needs to leave after which time you go to eviction proceedings…. Tell her that if you have to formally evict her that goes on her credit record. I will make it very difficult for her to rent in the future..
Another technique is called cash for keys … you tell her you’ll pay for a month and an RV park for her if she leaves within the week.
Your sister is a straight up disrespectful user. Why do you think she was living outside in someone’s camper? Serve her with an eviction notice. If she refuses to leave call the Sheriff’s department and have them begin the eviction process. This can take quite a while if she won’t leave voluntarily.
People on here are giving incorrect advice!here in FL and other states they’re is a letter you have to send to the person they have 10’days to get the letter and get out. You are not allowed to change the locks and mist keep their stuff until they are accomplices by officers to
Leave the premises . There are Laws when you invite someone win your home and they can manipulate the law by hanging around. You don’t need that lawyer you need that document from the state! Trust me- my whole family is in real estate and we know a lot of the litigation side ; I was as a landlord!
Does she have a lease? If not, change your locks and put her belongings outside. It sounds cold, but she’s clearly manipulative so it’s the only way to address it.
She and her boyfriend probably have tenants’ rights. Talk to a lawyer.
Your sister didn’t just move in. You let her. Stop being such a walkover.
I don’t understand why you say you’re not sure what to do when you’ve already been given advice about how to evict?
If she keeps breaking into your house, then you call the police.
File a formal eviction. Give her a 30-day or whit notice and have her served.
Does she receive mail here? If so it is considered her domicile and takes extra legwork to evict. Check your local regulations though.
u/bot-sleuth-bot
The window breaking and throwing things around is not “bratty behavior” it is violent behavior. It is behavior that perhaps might even warrant a call to the police. In any case yes, you do need to give her 30 days notice in writing, to move out, and when she doesn’t (and she likely won’t) you need to file for eviction. It won’t be pleasant and you need to be prepared to call the police if the 30 days notice causes the violence to escalate.
I would consult with a lawyer, ask them for advice on what the best way to go about getting your sister out. It will most likely be a 30 day notice, and have the lawyer draw it up for you.
It’s going to suck, but you need to have a sit down with her, and you need to calmly talk to her and let her know that you giving her a 30 days notice. That you gave her clear rules from the start, and she has violated them at every term. She will lash out, but you need to keep that same calm tone. If I were you I would probably set up a hidden camera in your kitchen, because she sounds like the type of person who will try to retaliate so she can stay and will try to think of some way to kick you out.
I’ve heard of enough stories of family members making up some kind of abuse or assault in order to get the rightful owner of the house out just so they can buy themselves more time in the home.
Did you not know she was a DISASTER before allowing her to move in?
I used to own a duplex here in California, Los Angeles to be exact and I know tenant law inside and out. California is very pro tenant. I don’t know where you’re located, but the laws are different in every state. If she is not paying her rent on time that gives you the legal authority to evict her. You will probably have to go through an attorney. Getting rid of someone can be very difficult. Did you guys have anything in writing stating the expectations of what was expected? Or was it just a verbal agreement? Look for an attorney in your area that handles tenant law. I wish you the best.
Eviction attorney is going to be the best way, or you can offer her ‘cash for keys’ which is basically paying her to leave and sign an agreement to terminate tenancy. If you do this, have a lawyer draft the agreement and have her sign in front of a notary.
Don’t forget to get cameras. Install them where it would be difficult to reach or vandalize them. Make sure they record footage via wi-fi somewhere she won’t be able to access. Like a hidden laptop in the house.
By having video footage of any destructive acts the police will have solid evidence to make an arrest.
I agree with everyone suggesting an attorney. A real estate attorney can do this blindfolded. You and I would struggle. Eviction law in your state can vary by county and even city. An attorney can also advise you of the possibility of using a restraining order to remove her.
There are YouTube videos of eviction hearings that can give you a good idea of the process. Some of the most heartbreaking ones are people like you who tried to do good and got fed up. But then they make a small mistake in the legal notice and have to start all over. Months were wasted.
You need to probably do this through legal avenues since she is already being difficult. Are you in the US? Try r/legaladvice
this sounds like an incredibly hard situation and you’re not wrong for feeling overwhelmed or disrespected. it’s really tough when the person taking advantage of your space is family, because the guilt hits harder. but you are not a bad person for setting limits. you’re allowed to protect your home and peace. you gave her a chance, you laid out clear terms, and she broke that agreement. adding a dog and a boyfriend without asking, using way more utilities than agreed, and even damaging your property that’s not just bratty behavior, that’s crossing serious lines. when someone acts like that, they’re not just being difficult they’re showing they don’t respect your space, your effort, or your boundaries. you’ve already been patient. now it’s about taking steps to reclaim your space. if she’s not on a lease or rental agreement, you can serve her a written notice to vacate. check your state laws on informal tenants or month-to-month arrangements, but most places allow a 30day notice. if you’re worried about how she’ll react, you might want to document everything and have someone with you when you deliver it or even send it by mail. that incident with the broken window is not just dramatic, that’s dangerous. if she ever threatens you again or damages your property, don’t hesitate to call the police and file a report. you’re not overreacting. you’re doing what anyone should do when their safety or property is at risk. it’s kind to want to help family. but enabling someone’s chaos doesn’t help them grow it just teaches them that consequences don’t exist. you’re allowed to say enough. you’re allowed to have peace in your own home. and you’re allowed to ask for help if enforcing that gets hard. you got this. stand firm. respect isn’t negotiable.
That’s sad . Having to do that with a brother or sister. I wish you the best.
Anyone moving out of a camper is a high risk roommate. To put it mildly. She will likely be very difficult to evict as she feels entitled to become a squatter.
She broke a window, you need to call the police and file a report.
Change the internet password.
Get cameras and secure your home.
Going through similar situation with my brother and had to give him notice to vacate the premises. Review what your tenants rights are in your area and follow the process of how to give her notice to vacate the property. Be prepared to lawyer up.
OP, seriously. You own the house. Give her a 30 day notice to evict and then evict her ass.
Make sure you have security camera’s installed (inside and out) and take pics inside her space so you know what it was like before she is evicted.
Stop pussyfooting around here OP. Your cow of a sister is taking advantage of your non-confrontational self and you and your bf need to remove her. SOON. AS.
You need to go to the courthouse and talk to the clerk and find out where their self-help area is, they should have some information or assistance on how to start the eviction process. Since they have been living there for more than 30 days, you will need to legally evict them, but it should not be that difficult as this was a month-to-month tenancy.
The house was bought by you, and it’s absurd for your sister to claim ownership rights. We don’t know where she got this crazy idea from, but I’d say you should contact a lawyer to get her out.
I’m so sorry your sister is doing this.
As everyone has stated, go to the courts and file the paperwork. Just do it and get it over with.
Then, NEVER EVER EVER AGAIN let anyone move in again. Ever. Okay? Promise me?
What state do you live in? I can help you with state specific information and steps you need to take but I will try and give you the best information possible now.
You write a letter to her advising her of the rules she has broken, the contract she has broken and give her 30 days to find someplace else to live or you will be filing a an eviction with the court. Document everything you can from rule violations to property damage, you’ll need it for court! If you can get hidden cameras for inside your house for the kitchen and common areas, I would get them asap too!
If the 30 days goes by, and she’s still there, then you go to the clerk of court and file an eviction lawsuit to legally get her out of your house. There will be a court date where you both can plead your case, this is where every ounce of documentation will help you. If you win, she’s out, if she wins you’ll have to get more evidence and file again. (Not likely she will win though)
Now, if any of them ever lay a hand on you, get out of there and call the police! Press charges and get a no contact order listing your home as a protected address and she’s out then! Someone can take her dog for her but it has to go with someone. Stand your ground but be safe doing it!!
Have her BF trespassed. He is not on the lease. So he has no rights. Then I would file for formal eviction on her.
And please-do not minimize your sisters behavior when you speak to the lawyer. She is not a misbehaving toddler-she’s violent. If you’re letting her come into your house or she has a key, change the locks now. Expect her unacceptable abusive behavior to escalate once you start the process. Steel your spine-you’re gonna need it.
I hope you called the police when she broke the window. And go to the basement, find your breaker box and cut the electricity to the garage. Hopefully your agreement was in writing. You’ll probably have to start eviction procedures
Really depends upon your state. Get an attorney and do it by the books so it’s settled, once and for all.
The best $20 I have ever spent in my life was when I lent my sister $20. Never got it back, but I never had to help her again. You are in a tough spot
Make sure you add her boyfriends name to the eviction letter.
You need to contact someone to see what the laws are on eviction. You might need to give her three months written notice.
Call for proper legal advice for where you are. A lot of lawyers offer a free 30 min consultation as well. That way, when you do legally get her out, she has nothing she can use to try and get back in.
UpdateMe
Put her stuff on the curb when she’s not there. Change the locks. Call the police when she tries to break in again. Jail will calm her down.
First do the 30 day eviction notice! Put up cameras in and around your home! Also have it put in writing in the eviction notice that she has no rights to enter your home! Make sure you get legal advice and cover all of your bases! Where it has only been a couple of months and the agreement was just her that should work in your favor! BTW change the locks on your home! If the air conditioner belongs to you remove it! Both of them! Good luck and remember think twice about doing a good deed for someone who has already shown you her true colors!
Did you have her sign a contract?
NAL –
Give her a eviction notice that you file with the courts. Then have her served.
After that stick to the letter of your agreement and document everything.
When it comes time for court you have a trail of evidence to call back on.
Where does she shower and potty? A common area? With Taarumps new homeless rules will you be accused of contributing or does she have the money to have her own place? Go the legal route to protect your home that is not hers. I wish you the bestđź’•
I don’t understand about the sister’s “rights”. She lives in a garage! Where will she get the money to fight being kicked out.
You need to do a real legal eviction notice to kick her out to cover your ass. And after you do that and the amount of time your state requires for the eviction to give notice for you can get the locks changed again and if she tries to break in again you call the police and tell them she’s trespassing and show them the eviction paperwork
Updateme
You may have issues letting her live in the garage as that’s not considered habitable. Your area may not be zoned for that – it may even be illegal.
People are so disrespectful and entitled. I am so sorry that she’s such a pain. I’d talk to an attorney and get her thrown out. She sounds unhinged, is she on drugs, pills or booze? If so, then call an ambulance if she acts unstable perhaps.
Get her out, the sooner the better.
Let her know when you offered to help her, the situation then isn’t the situation now. Now there’s a boyfriend, a dog, broken windows, and it’s not working out like it was. I’d in a friendly manner let her know she has 60 days to move out and you’ll do your best to help her with the process.
The caveat is regarding the original agreement between you and her. Was there a timeframe in that agreement? Expectations to be met? She could use that agreement to continue to stay there. Or you could use that agreement to evict her. Hopefully giving her a verbal 60 day notice is all that’s needed!
If your garage has not been converted into a legal livable space, it’s illegal for your sister to live there.
Consider posting this in legaladvice subreddit. But you must put the state you are in to get good advice.
Definitely get legal advice. Find out the local laws about what qualifies as a residence. Most times a garage does not meet the requirements, so she shouldn’t be able to get any type of “tenant rights” or “squatters rights” on a garage.
Call the police when she breaks and enters.
Cameras are your friend. Lots of cameras.
Record interactions with her. Your phone is your friend.
Give formal 30-day notice to leave. If she does an iota of damage, have her arrested. Start eviction proceedings if she doesn’t leave in the 30 days.
Talk to a lawyer. You may be able to force the guy out. You can enforce no pets. You know she’s not cleaning up after it. Make sure it’s legal, but remove one of the air conditioners. Find out everything you can legally do to make her uncomfortable.
Doesn’t matter what she or anyone else says. You helped have a better life and she shit all over you.
Start by video taping the entire house to show what condition it is in. Next, give her a 30 day notice to vacate in writing 3 ways. 1, letter, 2 email, 3 text. If she vandalizes anything, call the cops.
Give her 2 months notice so I doesnt seem “too short” of a time.. I’m guessing mom & dad arenr available?