Hey friends. I’m trying to stay grateful but hard. I do have loving and supportive parents. At 26M I’m a pharmacist working in a stressful environment. It’s hard to wake up some days and go to work. I’m also overweight despite the gym and weight loss meds. I have no friends and never had sex or a girlfriend.
My Main concern is getting a better job where I have time to vacation, and travel which this job provides no pto. I’m even willing to take major pay cuts. I think In 2 months I will quit my job whether I have another lined up or not, but terrified I’ll never find one again.
As you can see, I messed up my 20s. I gave up thinking I’ll be able to get a date or have sex. I just want a better job so my 30s will be less stressful on my mental health.
Can anyone tell me can your 30s get better if you ruined 20s?
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You’re gonna be fine. Life comes in cycles. Follow your heart (not society’s expectations) and you’ll never go wrong 🫶
Pick a dating app. Find the photos of the girls that more or less match your level of overweight. Start messaging / talking. If you are a 3 and you will only date 10s then you are likely to never find someone. It’s not too late to start. Its fine to look for a new job. Its fine to look for a girlfriend. There is no reason you can’t do both at the same time.
NEVER quit a job before you have a job. It is easier to find work when you have work.
You’re only half way through your 20s. How can you have messed them completely up, you still after 3+ years.
Start going to one of those “learn how to ballroom dance” things. Learn how to dance. More women than men. Smile a lot. Laugh at yourself when you screw up. You’ll make friends. Probably some of them will be women. If you like one after a few classes together ask her to join you for a coffee afterwards to chat. 50/50 you will be shot down, but hey, that’s true for most of us guys. It happens, bro.
Been there, done that, you have the path I followed out.
At 28, I had only $500 in savings, three roommates, and couldn’t afford a car. Couldn’t find any job that would pay more than $15/hr, and I have a bachelor’s degree… I decided to take welding classes at the community college and got offered a job as an apprentice ironworker within 6 months. I never even finished the school program, haha!!
By 29, I was making more than double my previous hourly wage, bought a (used) car, and had actual benefits for the first time in my life. Then at 31 I started dating the man I’m now married to. I thought I knew what love was before I met him… Dear reader, I was SO WRONG. Turns out some people CAN find fairytale, happily-ever-after romance after 30!
Anyway, try something new. Work hard. Keep your chin up and be yourself!! I think you’re right to prioritize jobs that will keep you sane. That’s what took me to welding (I knew I needed a physical job to keep my body happy, and I didn’t want to have to deal with customers or phones and email.) and I didn’t let being a 5’2″ woman stop me, either!!
Also as for love, I didn’t find mine until I had basically given up on dating and just focused on living a life that made me happy even solo. That’s when I met my guy. I don’t think we would have clicked if we’d met earlier…. I had so much growing to do, and was soooo desperate for someone to complete me…! I had to complete myself first.
You are honestly still SO YOUNG! You have time to level up for sure
Our stories are very different. But let me just say that I was a total party boy in my 20s and decided at your age to go back to college. I didn’t finish until I was 30. Then I went to grad school at 31. Then finished when I was 33 and my life completely turned around. I’m now sixty-four and getting ready to retire and my life is still excellent. I, too, have a great family. I have great friends. I’ve traveled all over the world and decided not to worry about having a partner and I honestly have been very happy. (This doesn’t mean you won’t find someone, but worrying about it doesn’t help). Given your education, I think there’s probably great opportunity for a more manageable life. Have you thought about looking into pharmaceutical research or hospital work? I would spend as much time looking for work as possible because it is a truism that it’s much easier to find a job when you have a job, and if you don’t have one when you quit, you’re just going to be stressed out again. But overall, the answer is yes.Your life can get better with each decade.So don’t expect to have it all figured out at your very young age. Good luck brother.
At 27 I got diagnosed with type 2 bipolar disorder and since then, I have been medicated and my life has been exponentially better.
It’s going to be almost 3 years since my last severe suicidal ideation, I never thought it would be get this better.
I’m 23, and by no means do I think I’ve got life figured out entirely. We are ever learning and evolving. But I’m very grateful for the position I’m fortunate to be in – that said; I used to struggle immensely with this kind of fear.
One of the most helpful things I saw was an actor offer advice in a stream to fans, stating ‘20’s are a waste of time. They’re the learning years. Make mistakes and take chances then.’. I hope it can offer you some peace and comfort as it did me my friend 🙂 🫂