I’m a 25 y.o. woman from a third-world (SE Asian, backwards country. Patriarchal.)
I am working hard to move outta here and that means in 1-2 years. But, I’ll already be 27 when I’m stable on my own feet in a developed country (target is Australia, and then a few European countries if my first choice doesnt work out).
I have come to terms that love might not happen for me. We should not have too many expectations especially when we know our luck is not very good from the start. Men at my place are one of the worsts and they propagate hatred like “women above 25 are expired”.
I wanted to know, is it normal to find your man after 27+ in your developed country? Do men in your country are good and they date/ marry women above 30; and it’s possible to have a family with husband & kids there? Is it possible to be happy & find a genuinely good guy at 30+ in your country?
If so, how common or how rare? (Very rare in mine)
Just curious about my future. Thanks for answering.
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I’m in Sweden.
A lot of people here get their educations before they get married and have children.
The *average* age for a woman having her first child is 30 years here. So about 50% of women take longer than that.
So at age 27-30 there will still be many partners available to date you.
Absolutely you are fine! There will always be some man that will say you’re too old for him, but fuck those guys. You should have no problem at all. I see plenty of relationships happening all throughout 30s 40s and causing families. Aftet that it’s less baby making time, but still plenty of people finding love. I wish you the best and hope you find amazing love.
From the US, and yes. I met my current partner when I was 41.
Hey, I’ve lived in Australia my whole life! The dating scene extends much further than your 20s, and many of my peers (who are in their thirties and forties) are still finding themselves and love and security.
I suppose the thing I would keep in mind is that as you get older, the more people have kids from a previous relationship or have other caveats you may not want to take on board.
You will always find slimy guys and dickheads wherever you go, but they are not the norm. The advice I would give is think about what you want in a partner, and then look at your life to see if that desire is within you. If you want someone who earns a lot of money, aim to earn a lot of money yourself. If you want someone who spoils you, take yourself out for spa days or have the house exactly as you like it. Ideally, you should love your life, and the person who improves even on that is someone you should take seriously.
I’m in Europe and there isn’t an expiration date on women, as it happens in other places on earth.
You’ll be fine, I know lots of people who just enjoy their 20s and get a bit more serious in their 30s.
Finding partner (especially first partner) in late 20s, 30s or 40s is more common than you might think, so don’t worry. A lot of people prioritize their career over romantic life so you’re not doing anything out of ordinary.
So yes, you can definitely find a good partner after 30s and marry if you want it. That being said, nature is something you can’t fool and if you feel like you want to have kids, being in your 30s-40s might be your last chance. >!Remember that adoption is always an option!<
PS. Don’t listen to assholes that say “women are expired”. It’s gotta be one of the most toxic things I’ve ever heard being said about another person.
I’m in Europe. Most people here marry around 30/32years old if not later
You’re too young and you’ll still be very young in your 30s. I’m from Europe, women focus on education and career first. Focus on yourself and your well being. The others will come when the time is right.
Yes it’s normal in a lot of other countries to find love at a later age, women don’t have an expiration date
You will be completely fine whether or not you find love, once you realise that your worth has nothing to do with other people’s opinions of you, your relationship status, or material position in life. I think it is wise that you are pursuing a life elsewhere since your home country is problematic for you right now. You can do whatever you choose with your time and I hope that you pursue something that makes you happy and that allows you to enjoy life, regardless of circumstances. FWIW, I got married and divorced when I was well into my 30s, and have been in a LTR since my divorce but can say hand on heart I would be equally happy (and possibly a little less stressed) were I to be single. My life is full, there are many people I love and care about and what other people, whose opinions don’t matter. Have to say about me, my looks, choices, lifestyle etc. are their own problem.
Very very very normal to find someone after 25, and increasingly after 30 too these days! Continue working on yourself and don’t worry about this, you’ll be ok!
I’m in the US and have friends who say the earliest they’d get married is 30!
I met my middle eastern wife when she was 26 and married her when she turned 28… Most people marry later in life here
I live in the UK, and I got married at 24. I was considered very, very young to be getting married and several people expressed their concern and suggested we wait a few years.
Most people do not get married or have children until their thirties. Getting married younger than thirty is generally considered Not Ideal.
You do not need to worry about whether you are too old to find love at 27 in the UK or most of Europe.
Singaporean here. Many girls opt to go to university, and the guys generally have a conscription period of two years. Meaning to say, you’re quite likely to meet single peers.
In general, people tend to settle down later in developed countries due to cost of living, differences in social expectations, etc
In the U.S. and I met my partner when I was 28.
People get married here at all ages too.
Hey, don’t worry. First of all is awsome that you are working for your future and moving to a better place, good luck in your future. Second, yesss, for sure you can find a partner after 30 yrs. It’s nothing to worry about. Most of people focus on carrer or 9ther things and they start to get serious about relationships after 30 yrs. You’re all good. Enjoy life and be happy.
You’ll be just fine.
I lived in large US coastal cities in my 20s and early 30s, many people were still single in their 30s. I was very focused on my education, career and on travel. No expiration date.
Good luck with your move! It’s going to be an exciting next chapter.
I will be 38 this month and engaged to a wonderful person. Both never married and no children just spent our earlier years working. There is no expiration date on love! I know the frustration you feel but you have so much life in front of you. Also, since we are older I don’t fear us not working out we have both had the opportunity to figure out what we really want. Focus on you for now and things will work out!
Australian here! Met my husband at 27 (I think) got married just before I turned 30 and nowadays I feel like I got married young!
Im 41 now and I probably have more friends in their late 20s/early 30s that are single than married.
Average age of marriage. In the Netherlands is mid 30s also marriage isn’t socially necessary here
Overall, no, you’re fine.
I’m in Canada, met my wife in my late twenties, married in my early thirties. I’m now 40 with a 3.5 and 2 year old. Most of my friends are in a similar boat.
However, if you stick to your own ethnicity/culture for dating, then it’s possible that there will be pressures similar to in your current country. Probably not as intense though, and mostly from first generation immigrants/the parents.
Switzerland here, met my husband at 27, know several women who met their hubbies even mid 30ties.
I met my husband at 26 and married at 28, you’ll be fine <3
I found my husband at 37! He’s a DREAM! I waited for the right one, and it was worth it! I had my son at 40. Good men are hard to find, but they are out there, and the good ones treat you like a queen!
You deserve the very best, so if they make you feel less than, RUN! And if you can’t find a man, travel the world and enjoy your freedom! If you aren’t tied to one place, you never know where you might find him! Explore!
In the US it’s more uncommon to get married in your early twenties, and more likely someone would settle down and marry from ages 26-32
I am from Northern Europe and here we marry later and have children later. A lot of people first want to study, travel and work before settling down. We also have quite high standards for a partner when we are older: a partner needs to add something to our life.
I met my husband when I was 31, married at 33 and baby at 34. My husband was 30 when we met and is an amazing husband and father. Because we were older when we met, we were able to become serious quickly because we knew what values in life and in a partner were important to us. We had our 9 year wedding anniversary on monday 😃
Australia isn’t a hard place to find a good person to be with well past your thirties as far as I’ve ever known. I don’t live there but most of the west doesn’t care like reddit might tell you it does at all.
Met my husband of 18 yrs at 40.
It’s absolutely normal! You can find a partner at any age. I know plenty of middle-aged people who found new partners at like 50-70 (they were widowed before).
I’m from Europe.
If you find a man who believes women “expire”, you’re better off without him.
In my experience, many, if not most, don’t.
I suggest trying norway. Best country, stable, beautiful, good child care, education, etc.
The majority of the educated successful straight women I know did not get married until after 25. In my environment in the US the way I was raised it is seen as kind of “early” to get married or have kids before getting a little closer to thirty. You absolutely can get married after 27
Good men in developed countries tend to be more interested in a strong relationship with an equal partner than a lady’s age. Age really is not something looked at unless there is an age gap of greater than 10 years. Even then, people still choose to have relationships and they work out fine. I say get out there and date once you get to your target country!
Funny. My grandmother’s friend just got married in her 70’s. Some cultures push the expiration date on women so they can encourage young and inexperienced girls to marry before they learn boundaries and standards.
Yes, it is possible and it is common.
Most people here (UK) are still dating, single or unmarried at 27. There is nothing taboo about a woman being unmarried and without kids into her 30s.
Most people I know are getting married and having kids around 30-33. The average age of marriage for women in Australia is 30. The average age of marriage for women in the UK is 33.
There are a lot of good men, but it will be up to you to recognize and choose them. A lot of worthless guys pretend to be decent at first. You have to pay close attention.
If the men you’ve been around your whole life suck, when you move you might have to spend some time learning what the basic standards for a decent guy/person are. They’re likely not what you’ve been used to.
At the same time, you need to know what qualities you personally would value in a partner, and what type of relationship you would like to build. Then choose someone who you can work with.
Make sure you actually like each other as people.
Frankly I’m always a little leery of weddings when they’re under 27. Most people need experience in order to know what they want in a partnership and what they can offer themselves. That means being older, generally. I’ve certainly seen marriages work out with people who get together as teenagers or young 20’s but very rarely. Most of the people I know met and started dating their spouses around the age of 27. I met mine at 25 but we started out friends first and had several years of friendship before dating. I also know people who didn’t meet their person until they were in their 60’s. There’s no expiration date on love and partnership. Which is what the focus is on in these countries you’re talking about. Love and partnership.
That’s social media, and yes, you can absolutely find a good man after 25 – in fact most people in most of those countries don’t get married till 30 on average (Australia is 31 for men and 30 for women.) I’m in the US which is similar and I didn’t meet my husband till I was 28. In fact in general, we tend to look down, if silently, a bit on people who get married much before 25, because we all know a lot of those relationships aren’t mature enough to work out. Not all, so we bite our tongues. But quite a few.
Moreover – those guys who are going on about women losing value after 25? No one wants them anyway. They are losers, that’s WHY they are in those communities talking like that. I mean the vast VAST majority of them online are literally teenagers anyway – they are dumb and immature and some will be brain broken by this shit permanently but MOST will grow out of it by their early-mid 20s as they learn how dumb and immature they are.
I rarely dated and found reason to walk away from someone, but still found the love of my life at 35. He’s kind, intelligent, hard-working, a loving father and partner, able to take care of himself, ambitious, emotionally intelligent but always working on it, funny, silly, supportive, generous, charming and likable and people often tell me how handsome he is (because he is!) and oddly always seem surprised I married someone so good-looking? I am so happy I did not settle in any way just to be married younger. It’s totally possible
I’m not in any of your target countries (US) but as a 32 year old woman who has had to start over recently and worries sometimes about my desirability and ‘viability’ in the dating world, especially because I took a break on dating for the last 5 years, it’s never too late to meet someone and start a life together.
Unfortunately we do have our biological clock to contend with so plans will have to be made if you want to have children later, and being up front and honest with potential partners about your relationship goals will take more of a front seat if you are more serious about settling down, but there are plenty of fish in the sea and love might happen when you least expect it. It can be difficult to date when you get older as many men have had previous wives and children when you get into dating as you get older but each situation is unique and is navigable if you both communicate well, and there are plenty of older guys who have never married or had kids because where they wanted to focus on themselves.
I think there is an overarching theme everywhere that women lose their value as they age but I’ve found that for the most part, majority of men don’t live by it. In my experience, the ones that do hold that belief are usually off putting in a variety of other ways and are not candidates for my dating pool, so it works out. You’ll have guys that leave their wives for younger women but quite a bit of younger guys like older women because of their maturity, stability, and experience. I’ve heard many younger guys who want serious relationships complain about how younger girls are too immature so they want to date older.
As conservative as the US has been leaning as of late, and living in a conservative state but a liberal and metropolitan area, there is no shortage of dating in any age range(barring unlawful relationships), gender, race and religion.
My parents met and got engaged in their 50’s, I know many people at work who have gotten married in their 40’s, heck, during Covid I met two elderly people, about 85 who met at church after their spouses died and got married. I was lucky enough to do their wedding cake for them. It’s a bit more difficult as you get older but it’s totally possible, and if you’ve lived in a patriarchal society for as long as you have, I’d suggest investigating any limiting ideas you may have about dating before going out in the dating word when you move. We don’t realize it, but sometimes we hold little beliefs and habits we may not even realize that we have adopted in order to adapt and survive oppressive environments that can limit us in our goals. This may help making the dating transition easier for you when you move.
I wish you all the luck in the world and a lifetime of happiness❤️
American here. My brother just got engaged at 45. I’m not sure of her age, but over 35. They’ve been dating about a year. I met my wife when I was 40 and she was 29. We’ve been together for a decade.
There’s plenty of toxic men, but plenty of good men. Be sure to get some women friends to help you figure out who is a good guy and who is awful, but better than you’re used to.
Im in the US, got married at 36
At 31 I hit on a cute younger guy for casual sex. 35 years later, we’re still in love.
American here, so not exactly from a developed country, but it is still quite normal to find love after 30. Actually, I think it’s becoming the more common scenario. Getting started in life is so expensive now. It takes young people that long to get going.
Canada
People date at any age. It’s easiest to date when in college. After 30, lots of people are divorced or done graduate school/career goals so they are open to dating again
I’m in Canada, 32, and have 0 problems in this regard. You’ll do fine. Women do not have any more of an expiration date then men do. And as men age and mature, more of them tend to be looking to settle down.
I was 33 when I met my husband and 35 when we got married. We’ve been married 25 years.
I met my husband at 38. You have plenty of time!! In Europe, getting married between the ages of 30 and 40 is very normal.
My best friend met and married his partner when they were both in their forties. It’s a little sad because he had always wanted children, but he’s found his person and he’s happy.
Good luck, OP. <3 Good people are out there in all age groups.
My best friend met and married his partner when they were both in their forties. It’s a little sad because he had always wanted children, but he’s found his person and he’s happy.
Good luck, OP. <3 Good people are out there in all age groups.
I got married for the first time in the US at 36 to someone who was 44, and later remarried at 42 to someone who was 47 (and we are still very happily married.) While everyone must make the best choices for them, for me I needed my younger years to establish my career, figure out who I was as a person, and become someone with plenty to offer as a partner.
US but live in Europe, yes I met my partner at 30+ like… it’s so sad but like girl go get out (I know you’re trying) and live.
Also you have the internet so start studying some other developed countries dating and social cultures — not just on tiktok or IG like do some real research.
And tbf, consider getting a therapist to help you prepare for the culture shock and life as an immigrant. Even from one developed nation to another, it’s not a 1:1 transition.
Good luck, smash the patriarchy, have fun!
Yes, I found a great guy when I was 45. He was handsome, mindful, well employed in a meaningful field of work, devoted to me, smart, great listener, my family loved him and he loved them, open to new experiences, only things was he has a tendency to work a little too hard and let people take advantage of him.
It’s actually easier to find a good man after 30, I have found. For one thing, the men are more mature and less stupid. And you, you will be a better conversationalist at gatherings and you’ll be surprised how you can run rings around younger people in that characteristic.
All the best men love a smart woman regardless of her age.
I’ve been married twice. The first time I was 23. Looking back on it now, I was way too young to be married—my spouse was 8 years older than me and that age gap made it real easy to manipulate and control me. I ended up asking for a divorce even though I was afraid I’d never be with anyone ever again.
I met my current spouse at 29, we got married when I was 32, and it’ll be 5 years in July already and this is a MUCH happier marriage than my first one.
Don’t worry about what the men in your country think. You’ll find someone. People fall in love and get married at every age in my country (Canada). I used to be a wedding photographer and once photographed a wedding for a couple in their 60s. Don’t give up hope.
I met my husband at exactly 27. There’s always time to find somebody that is a good match for you. I was in Canada and he was American.
I married at 33. Generally, the more educated a woman is, the later she gets married.
Yes, men in general do you prefer a younger woman, and you will find some men prefer to date only women in their 20s. It is a fact.
But later marriages are fine.
Most women I know m, who are married to men, married them in their 30s.
North East US, average age for getting married is 28 and first child is 30. It’s completely acceptable to be older as well, if not encouraged. Getting married and having children under 25 is often considered too young.
In the Western world, where you hope to go, relationships can start at any age.
I’m met my wife in her thirties and she had a baby at 40. I am an engineer and I moved around a few places, and I met her when I was 36 and a few years later I proposed. You totally go live your own life be authentic be real and be proud of yourself, join outing groups and meet people and you’ll find somebody who likes you for you at any age.
In the United States it is extremely normal for people to find love after 27. My aunt was married as a young woman and had kids. her husband died, and she got married again when she was about 45 to the love of her life and they have been married for almost 20 years.
It’s extremely common and normal, even expected! I know a ton of people in their 30s who are single and not worried at all that they won’t find love.
USA here, not one of your targets, but i was 33 and he was 30 when we met. We married 3 years later and celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary this year
I am from the central US and I met my boyfriend of 6 years at 26. I know several people our age ( late 20s – early 30s) that have not found love yet. And my parents met when they were in their mid 30s. My mom had me when she was 41.
You have plenty of time. Only advice I have is to stay away from dating apps. They are full of bots and scammers. Even the more “legit” ones like hinge.
Go to events, hobby classes, or some other place to meet and hang out with people in real life. Just focus on making friends at first. I met my boyfriend because I wanted to play DnD and formed a group from coworkers and people they knew that wanted to play.
If anyone tells you you’re “expired” throw them in the trash.
I am in the US, which is basically a teeming cesspool of despair now, but I am 56 and met my current partner when I was 51.
You have a ‘Use by date’ or an ‘Expiry Date’ or a ‘Best Before’ date ? Really ?
Not in my country.
There is no expiration date for women anywhere, lol. I advise you to go to a country that is welcoming of foreigners with multiple ethnic backgrounds like america. I only say that because it will be easier for you to socialize and find love quicker, also multiple ethnicity countries have less religion and stereotypes like that. In Europe you might feel excluded especially if you don’t speak the language, in Austalia I don’t know. I hope the best for you because you sound like a good person. I’m sorry that the general thinking in your country is like this, I hope it stops because it literally damages men’s instincts as in emotions, their social perception, their ability to fall in love. I hope such ideas will stop being passed down. I wish the best for you and I’m sure you will find someone!!
I read a lot of these replies, but I didn’t see one that said: In many countries, it is perfectly fine if you want to have a child by yourself, without being married. Many different ways for that to happen; takes a lot of strength, financial stability, etc. But as long as you are opening up your horizons, this is a possible one.
It’s not uncommon at all for women to wait to marry until they’re thirty (or more) here (🇨🇦). Some choose never to (it’s over rated).
Don’t over think it, when you’re ready who knows what will happen!
I’m in Canada, but I also lived in the US and Australia.
You sound like an ambitious and well grounded woman, and that’s highly appreciated here.
I met my wife when she was 27. I’m a tad older then her. Many of my friends got married at their 30s.
I am sure you will find love and happiness.
Good luck!
I live in Scotland and most people seem to settle down around their 30s. A few people do before, but most people want to study/travel/live a little bit before meeting someone serious and having children. 27 is still very young to us. It’s also around that age that men start to get more serious about dating so it’s a good time to meet someone.
You can even have standards. Don’t just date the first guy into you if you don’t want to.
People are a wide spectrum in Australia. The people who only date 23 year olds or younger are probably not people you want to date anyway.
Making friends can be hard in these countries as an adult. We often have very superficial friendships like work colleagues and a few very deep ones. It can be hard to have the middle level where you go out for coffee together etc
Met my now husband at 27 and had our baby at 37.
Both British and live in England. As an above post said.
There is not an expiration date on women.
Some people are just dumb and self projecting their insecurities and harp on about very out dated views.
Sadly these people tend to be super loud as they desire attention.
From what I understand even the average age I’d having a child is much higher than it used to be. Life expectancy is much longer etc
Goodness no! We live in the US and my daughter didn’t get married until she was 37.
I didn’t find my man until I was 34. I had our kid at almost 36. still with him and I’m 50 now. I’m in the US.
Sorry, I’m from the U.S so can’t help you.
I didn’t get married until 40. I wanted to be single my whole life, but life intervened.
I recall living in Japan (a developed country!) in the early 90s and people joked about no one wanting a Christmas cake on the 26th of December (that familiar expiration date of 25). I was appalled, but, well, not my country.
It’s easier to meet people in school, but people who wait and people who divorced are often over 27 and interested in a life partner. Our daughter found her perfect match and he was 30 and divorced, so as long as you don’t require your partner to have no miles on them I don’t see this as a problem.
I was a seamstress for decades. My oldest bride, first time, too, was 49. This was in the 80s.
A good friend of mine lives in the US and she met her now husband in her mid 30s, got married and had two kids.
Totally normal. Enjoy yourself.
My children are in their 30s. Neither are attached to a partner, nor are they particularly worried about it.
Yeah I mean I got married in my 30s. I met my ex-husband when I was 27 or so. We didn’t work out and I’m single again now at 54, but there are still men who are interested (even though I’m not). I’m in Australia.
In America at least it’s actually the norm to get married in your late 20s into your 30s. It didn’t used to be, and depending on where one lives there’s more pressure.
Personally I am 21 and will absolutely not be marrying for about a decade, or a couple years less. My reasoning is I am in my first year of college and want a PhD. And I know that I will not be the only person single by then.
in the US. in my circle (affluent, very well educated), it’s a little… low class to get married or have kids young. I’m NOT saying i feel this way, but the general perspective is basically anything under 30 is basically a child bride and a teen pregnancy.
I live in the US. I’m in my early 40s. My husband is in his late 40s. We have gone to more weddings in the last two years than we did in our 20s or 30s, many are first marriages.
Sounds rare to find a genuinely good guy in your country at any age.
Focus on a peace-centered life instead of a man-centered one.
USA and Italy replying here….you are still in your prime and desirable… spot on.
First of all, you’re racist. Did you seriously just put every men in your country into a single box and expect men from developed countries also fit to another single box? Seriously?
I’m pretty sure we’re from the same country seeing you mentioned Australia as your first choice. And no, not every men in this country expect to marry some younger than 25 years old virgin. So educated yourself before you embarrassed yourself.
It’s absolutely possible. Guys who consider women over 25 “expired” are NOT guys you’d want in your dating pool anyway! (Sweden here)
Met my husband in my 30s. You’re good. Don’t even worry!
Germany here – yes it’s all normal and you will be fine! Wishing you the best of luck!
Australia should be ok for you.
Only Incels and pedos think women are expired after 25
Either way good luck!
USA
Still patriarchal here.
Very common for women over 27 to date, marry, start families and find decent or even good partners. Not gonna act like it’s easy to find a real good dude, again still a patriarchal society but none of this is rare.
People IN URBAN AREAS don’t consider your late 20s or even 30s to be too late for any of that. Generally people consider it ideal to do all of this in their late 20s early 30s after they get into their careers and get stable. It’s more common that people will have the attitude you’re talking about in rural areas.
27 is still lots of time in a western country.
My grandma married my step grandpa when both of them were above 60 years of age. They are about the same age.
There are people who think like what you said but they are widely considered jerks.
Yes it is very normal!!! Plenty of people have settled down by then BUT-. I’m young so i don’t have a lot of 30+ friends but ngl mort people close to 30 i know are either single or not in something serious, the only 2 30+ year olds im friends with are single.
Weren’t you thankful on another sub saying that “a man is no longer your priority” and here you are again asking about getting a man.
What double standards!!!
My mum is thinking about marrying again. Shes just turning 60. She met her current partner mid 50s, and honestly, hes the best shes ever had- i think he’s her true love.
my parents got married when they were around 30 in the UAE.
I’m from the US and I married my first husband when I was 53 years old. I never thought I was going to get married until I met him. There is no expiration date on love. So don’t worry about it. You have plenty of time. It usually comes when you least expect it.
OP this backwards mindset doesn’t apply in real life here in the US. Some people say those things, but the reality is that people in their 60’s-80’s get married and date ALL the TIME! Being in your 30’s and 40’s is still young! I see people my mom’s age (53) who are in better shape than I am, literally all day long. Your life is just getting started and that includes dating.
Women in developed countries find men at their own time. There is a rush for some to start families in their early 20’s so they can have large families, but more and more people really do wait to start families until they are on feet.
And if anything the problem in developed countries is people marry so young they are not ready for family life leading to early divorces. Many are starting their lives over in their 30’s or 40’s.
I’m in the U.S. near New York City and got married at 36, had my son at 38, and many of my friends actually got married after me. I’ve heard this is more common in cities but I still have a friend from Virginia who after a couple of failed marriages met the love of her life at 47. No expiration date on love here.