My partner of 11 years and I have recently parted ways. He was incredibly abusive towards me, and I’ve suffered a permanent life altering injury due to his abuse.
Since separating things have gotten so much worse. So so much worse. I’m terrified but I feel like everyone is sick of hearing about this shit so I don’t want to burden them by reaching out.
Yesterday my daughter had a friend over and her father came with her. We were just talking and enjoying the company. I was getting a quote to fix some things around the house because I’m moving and I need to get it ready to sell. I hear a knock at my door and go to answer it. It was my ex. He stormed in the house, broke my $3k tv, and when the guy who was here stood up they got into an insane fight. I sent the kids downstairs as soon as I saw it was him at the door and tried to de-escalate the situation but the damage all happened too quickly. I don’t think my ex recognized this man as a family friend. He was never really involved with the kids stuff. I think he just assumed that I was doing stupid shit and went ham on us.
My daughter’s friends dad had a terrible swollen eye and had to go to the hospital. I spoke with his mother (we all know eachother and meet up for play dates frequently) and she was understanding. I feel absolutely terrible.
I’ve been telling people how bad things are. I feel so alone and terrified.
Thanks for reading.
Comments
This man is dangerous – I’d recommend going to the police with the victim and filing an official report ASAP.
If he isn’t afraid to hit you and break property then he isn’t safe around your children – drive to the police station TODAY.
He needs to be humbled in the court of law for his actions. He’s acting like a kid make him face the consequences. If you don’t then you need to move FAR away.
He needs to be held accountable for his actions.
They need to and you also need to file a restraining order and report him To the police. Forget about damaging his life he did that to himself. Do not let him walk away like that cause he’ll just keep comming back again and again making things worse. Don’t feel any guilt for destroying his life.
You are not being a burden for talking to people about this. Be vocal about your abuse. If this is how your ex is behaving you need to file a restraining order and call the cops 100% of the time. Anytime he violates that restraining order the cops need to be called. He should be in jail for being so violent.
I’m glad the family friend stood up for you at least.
File a police report. Way too often people in your situation try to handle things “in house” and it often escalates. Sounds like you’re in the “escalation” faze already. Please file a report, get a restraining order, and keep the kids away.
How tf is he not in jail right now for assaulting a stranger and beating you into a life altering injury. Like how? GET THE COPS INVOLVED!
From what I’ve seen, this is specifically a situation and injuries that the police and Prosecution Service can successfully take to court and get that POS prison time. It wasn’t a Domestic situation, it wasn’t provoked, it was deliberate, and the injured party was not in a relationship with you. Added to that, there were small children involved.
Imo you need to encourage the victim to take this very seriously and get the courts involved. Even if, for whatever reason, your ex isn’t prosecuted there will be a record for the next time he does it. There will be a next time, and he will end up killing someone.
Also I don’t like to add to your worries but it seems like he’s stalking you. I doubt he just coincidentally turned up while you happened to have a male visitor.
Press charges and download Hollie Guard app for you and your daughter. You are not talking about this enough. Contact RAINN if you are in the US.
Can you get a PFA?
Do the police not exist where you live?
Please tell me you called the police while this was happening and pressed charges?!
Is there some place you and your daughter can stay while you get things together?
You should never answer the door for your ex. You should be filling a restraining order against him. It sounds like you could use the advice of the domestic abuse hotline. Please call them and be smarter. Do not interact with your ex except via lawyers.
Police report. File charges. Restraining order. Jail for that fucking pos.