Planning to go NC this weekend with nparents. Typing up the letter, packing up paperwork, and going to mail it on Monday. As always, feeling hideously guilty and bad for them. Even though they don’t deserve it. I know the reality of what they’ve done to me, but there’s always this doubt and shame that creeps in and then I don’t follow through with the NC.
Well, got a message from one nparent today, with an essay’s worth of demands about their upcoming visit. And I couldn’t even finish reading it. I’m appalled that any human thinks that it’s acceptable to write demands like this. It perfectly sums up so much of what is wrong with them. I’m actually angry right now, thinking about what they wrote. Just the most selfish, awful person. I’m done.
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You got this! It’s tough, I was filled with anxiety when I finally blocked my Nparent and eventually sent a letter. My Nparent told the rest of my family that I wrote a "mean and untrue letter." But my mental health is so much better now that I don’t have to interact with my Nparent.
It can help (and possibly make you feel worse) to write out things they have said and done to you so that you can remind yourself when you are feeling after towards them. Stay strong, you deserve happiness and respect x
Hooray for anger!! Anger can be really motivating to protect ourselves from our abusers. Hold onto that anger. That feeling is trying to help you keep yourself safe and, on some level, you definitely know you don’t deserve abuse.
I hope you enjoy NC and your freedom. I know I have loved it despite the difficult things I’ve had to do to protect it. It was 100000000% worth it.
Please tell me you’re going NC before they visit? You can do this! You don’t need these crappy mean people in your life. You deserve people who bring you peace and love you and support you. Not them and their abusive demands.