I never thought I’d become a sex worker at 35, but here I am

r/

Now I’m 35, divorced, and a mom to a little girl who means everything to me. If you’d asked me a few years ago if I could ever see myself doing sex work, I would’ve laughed and said, “not in a million years.”

A few years ago, I had a steady job, a marriage that I thought was solid, and a pretty normal life. Then it all fell apart… first my marriage, then the financial security in the mess of post-COVID restructuring. I tried to hold it together. I really did, but it wasn’t enough. I was exhausted, stressed, and falling behind.

One night I was scrolling and came across a post about paid companionship. It was someone talking openly about how they got into escorting. It didn’t sound glamorous, but it didn’t sound like the horror stories either. It just sounded… doable?
I started researching forums and blogs. I lurked for weeks. Then I made a burner email. A fake name and a profile on one of the “safe” sites people recommended. I got flooded with messages. Most of them were disgusting. Some were sad. But one stood out. He was older, polite, and didn’t push. He just said he wanted someone to have dinner with, someone to talk to.

I didn’t respond at first. I wasn’t sure if I had the nerve. But eventually, I did. We exchanged a few messages. Then we met at a restaurant in town. I wore a dress I hadn’t touched in years. I was shaking the entire time. But he was kind. He treated me like a human being. No pressure, just dinner and conversation. At the end of the night, he handed me an envelope. I cried in my car for 30 minutes before I could drive home.

That money paid our rent that month. And I felt something shift in me… like I’d found a way to keep us above water, even if it wasn’t a path I ever imagined walking. Things evolved from there. I set boundaries. Some stayed. Some shifted. Eventually I started taking full-service clients. It is what it is.

I’m not ashamed, not really, but I’m still struggling with fully accepting it. It’s just hard sometimes, carrying this double life. My family doesn’t know, I don’t talk to anyone about it. But I needed to say it somewhere, even anonymously. I’m okay. But sometimes the weight of this secret feels like too much to hold by myself.

Comments

  1. seeyatellite Avatar

    Financial security can reduce the burden of stress and uncertainty. That’s an essential peace.

    You sound like an intelligent, loving mother who understands her boundaries and stands for her values. We live in a system that makes this life possible. There’s no shame in it. You’re still a good person with a beautiful heart.

  2. DazzlingEffect2152 Avatar

    In my eyes you’re doing what you can to survive and take of your little girl. I won’t judge you all I’d say is you should probably do some therapy as you’re doing this to help process and protect yourself mentally. I wish you all the best and hope you’re happy and so is your little girl. Please please please also be careful!

  3. gtrhro5str Avatar

    30M here. I just love the story, even if you’re not proud of it. The boundaries you have set are important. I respect the men that just want company from a woman and are willing to be up front and honest.

  4. kararax Avatar

    You are only stuck when you stop trying to get out. Don’t lose hope. Now is a good time to start a business. If your business picks up, just work on that and slowly move on. Try to keep your client list short and repeat same clients if you have the choice. Objectively, this won’t pan out financially in the long run. So, don’t stop clawing to get out. Plus, this might affect your girl in the long run, as stories and videos make their way out to her. You do what you need to do to survive, nothing but respect for that. But, follow the rules of professional athletes, make financial plans to retire. Don’t make it into your only future source of income.

  5. XB_Demon1337 Avatar

    You found a way to provide. You clearly have the assets that the clientele are looking for. So what if it isn’t some ‘bad girl boss’ shit that people like to push women to do? You provide a service, one that quite frankly sometimes people may feel the need to indulge in. Head up darling and keep doing what you feel you need to do to provide for that lovely little girl.

    Who knows. You might find that this is something you enjoy and expand on that career. I mean, we hear about how hundreds of women make buckets of cash on Only Fans. Do what is best for you and your little one.

  6. wanderingalone21 Avatar

    I know it must be difficult, but u did this for your family. Though it’s not easy to accept this for you.

  7. ChinmayAtale98 Avatar

    You are a survivor, you will get through it.

  8. clapton512 Avatar

    “Dinner and conversation” is sex work now?

  9. honeybeesy Avatar

    Camming is always an option too. I would probably also have done the sugar daddy thing if I’d stayed single in adulthood, but I am very grateful that online interactions exist as well. No judgement at all, but just a third option that isn’t so heavy if you end up struggling with what to do.
    Source: am cam girl of 4.5 years

  10. Outrageous-Path-5107 Avatar

    Sex work isn’t something to be ashamed about.
    It’s one of the oldest professions out there.

    You’re making money from your body.
    Just like a man laying down bricks makes money off of his.

    Just makes sure you get your bag. Don’t undersell. Make it worth it.

  11. stickypaw-pause-paws Avatar

    Good luck to you.
    Anyone who hate you or is judging you is beyond stupid.
    If there wasn’t a demand, then prostitution wouldn’t be a thing. Plus you’re not harming 6 you’re doing better than those who live off of someone else, draining them.

  12. Commercial-Net810 Avatar

    My Mom because a widow by 35 with seven kids to raise. Dirt poor, uneducated…she did what she had to, to raise us. That included sex work while working another job. We are grateful everyday for what she did. We never took her for granted.

  13. midgirlcrisis990 Avatar

    If this or poverty? Is there really a choice?