For the last 2 months I’ve been feeling disconnected from my childhood friends. I started to realise that the way they spend their time together doesn’t suit me and in fact feels like a waste of time to me. I’m not commited to talking to them and there’s barely any stuff I want to talk about with them, I only talk with them about the stuff they want to talk about. I feel no emotions from being with them and I don’t like them as people, yet they didn’t do anything harsh to me (or if they did then they always apologised). I want to spend all time doing own hobbies rather than with them. The only benefit from this friendship I have is that I can have a team in online games (no matter how selfish it wouldn’t sound). I want to be distanced from them more and more but I’m too kind to just leave them yet.
When I want to be alone and not play games with them on some days they get upset or sometimes judge me. They say that I should actually socialize more, not forget about them, because they miss me and want to spend as much time as possible with me before I go to the university at the end of summer (and oh boy I’ll be busy a lot here) . I agree that I should socialize, however I don’t feel like socializing with them.
In case you think I might have a depression I’m actually happy to chat with other friends who we have/had same goal together and with my family. I just feel no emotional connection with my old friends. How do I end the friendship?
Comments
Just tell them what you told us here. Be honest about it, make sure you explain it’s not their fault.
You wouldn’t be okay with an every now and then catch up?
Hey, it sounds like you’re growing and that’s not a bad thing at all. It’s normal for friendships to shift as we evolve. You don’t need a big dramatic exit to honor your own growth. Bdw, instead of cutting them off abruptly, start by creating boundaries. Say no more often when you don’t feel like gaming or chatting and use that time for your own hobbies and meaningful connections. You can also be honest (kindly) if needed. And most important of all, let yourself know that you’re not selfish. you’re just evolving. Give yourself permission to outgrow what no longer feels right. Growth isn’t always comfortable but it’s always worth it.
The end of the summer is almost here and you need to prioritize getting yourself set up for university; your time is limited. Say so. It’s no one’s fault, you’re just in different places in life right now.
Maybe offer up a pizza get together or outing so that the parting is pleasant.
Enjoy your university experience.
Just fade away. You don’t need to have a conversation unless they ask. Just be unavailable and busy. Nature will take its course.
Maybe try to do your own hobbies together.
You’re gonna either have to get over your guilt or keep it and them in your life.