I presented “Pirates” (the porn movie) in class, and my dad had to explain it to my teacher.

Back in middle school, we had this project called “Mini Talk” in English class (we have English class in Norway) where we had to pick a topic and do a presentation. I wanted to be a little rebellious, so instead of something normal, I chose “Pirates”. Not “Pirates of the Caribbean”, but the 2005 porn movie “Pirates”. It was pretty popular back then, and I thought I could get away with presenting it like it was a serious movie. No explicit stuff, just talking about the plot and the production.

Presentation day comes, and I still remember feeling pretty smug. I stand up in front of the class, start talking about pirates, and my friends laughing,. The teacher has no idea what’s going on and just nods along. I’m thinking, Nailed it. I felt like a hero with my friends. (Still talks about this episode with my friends, was epic at the time). And the PowerPoint was accually very good for beeing made by me back then. I remember that I put a lot of effort into it.

A few weeks later, there’s a parent-teacher meeting. My parents and I sit down, and the teacher starts talking about my presentation, saying how great I did explaining the “plot” and all. I’m sitting there like, Yeah, I crushed it.

Then after a little, the teacher pulls up my PowerPoint. I had no idea that the PowerPoint was going to be shown at that meeting! We get through the slides, and my dad looks at it, then looks at me, then back at the screen. He leans over and whispers, “Did you just talk about a porn movie to your entire class?”

I almost died. The teacher’s still talking, completely unaware, and my dad interrupts, “You know what “Pirates” really is, right?” The teacher, confused (don’t eemember how the response was). But she had absolutely NO idea what kind of movie it was. I had left out all the nudity and xxx plot from the presentation.

My dad, trying to keep it together, says, “Well, it’s a porn movie.” (thats a comment I never forget)

The teacher turns bright red, and my parents just sit there, not knowing what to say. My mom just looks at me in disbelief. I wanted to crawl under the table. I tried to cover for myself, making up some excuse, but it was too late, I was that kid now. When we got home, my dad tried to brush it off as no big deal, while my mom was still pissed.

TL;dr: Presented the 2005 porn film “Pirates” for a middle school project. Teacher had no idea. During the parent-teacher meeting, my dad had to explain to the teacher what I actually presented to the class. Major fail.