I read my husbands text messages

r/

A year ago, I saw a text my husband (45M) sent to his friend. He was leaving work and saw “a very hot girl” in the parking lot. His friend asked if he got her number, and my husband replied, “No, I was already leaving the parking lot.”

At the time, I (32F) had a six-month-old baby, had gained weight, and wasn’t taking care of myself the way I used to. I felt hurt but pushed it aside because I was overwhelmed with being a new mom. Now, a year later, it still eats at me. I feel disrespected, unseen, and like I’ll never be “enough” for him.

The bigger issue? He’s always been like this—flirty, making inappropriate comments, and dismissing my feelings when I bring them up. Anytime I try to talk to him, he calls me crazy and says I’m making a big deal out of nothing.

Lately, I’ve been wondering if I even want to stay in this marriage. I thought he’d change, but he hasn’t. Am I overreacting? Or is this the kind of thing that only gets worse over time?

Comments

  1. DangerousBrat Avatar

    Crazy age gap, when did you guys meet?

  2. Every_Guard Avatar

    Sounds like the type to cheat on you while going through postpartum because “he has needs and couldn’t wait”.

    I’d be cautious cause that text exchange is a 🚩

  3. beetleink Avatar

    His friend so casually asking if he got her number tells me that he has gotten numbers in the past. Dismissing your feelings is very disrespectful. A lot of things about this situation are worrying.

  4. Humble_Enthusiasm131 Avatar

    You’re right he won’t change. Start preparing because do you really want to live like that? Never feeling good enough, distrustful of his actions? It’s so not worth it

  5. Aggressive_Cup8452 Avatar

    You married a project. The project is not going the way you expected. You can stay and wait it out or leave and guard your peace of mind. 

    And with wait it out I mean is: 
    Option 1: he leaves you wheb someone else comes along that looks better.

    Option 2: his penis stops working due to old age so you’re stuck taking care of him.. after he cheated on you.. multiple times.. with multiple women.

    Remember.. he noticed a woman and his friends reaction was whether he got her phone number..he didn’t dismiss him.. just that there was no opportunity. 

  6. CarryOk3080 Avatar

    Huge 🚩🚩🚩🚩 he disrespects you and will continue to do so if you stay. Your child will see that every day of their lives and it will build resentment

  7. Batehripi Avatar

    Maybe the friend wanted her number?

  8. mrnobody661 Avatar

    Make comments about hot younger guys and see how he feels I bet his age insecurities start creeping in almost certain it will change his tune

  9. C1sko Avatar

    He showed you who he was and still is.

  10. gsxreatr02 Avatar

    Y’all crazy. To many ‘leave him now for looking ‘idiots in here. As guys, ee look. We love a beautiful woman. Unless there is history of him cheating or getting numbers, this guy is just being a guy with his buddy. The old saying, i may look at the buffet, but I’m ordering from the menu. Bunch if single, mad people on here.

  11. Upper_Ad_9575 Avatar

    Why did you marry him in the first place?