I took her in 11 months ago after yet another suicide attempt. I feel I had no choice in the matter because my mother was at her breaking point.
Good news, she hasn’t attempted suicide since moving in with me. Bad news now I’m the one on the verge of breakdown and about to blow my head off.
All she does is lay on the couch, ordering food delivery and sleep all day. Meanwhile I work my ass off for a mesly paycheck. Once in a blue moon she’s healthy enough to get herself a new job, only to quit 2/3 weeks later because its too hard.
“Look life is hard for everyone” – is what I want to tell her. But I’ve learned the hard way that saying these things will only make her feel more guilty and suicidal. Then she breaks down and cries. Apologies for being a burden.
I tell its not her fault. Depression is a disease. No matter how many times she gets knocked down she just has to try to get back up. But I’m telling you, this girl does not possess an ounce of resilience in her being.
What ifbshe never gets better? What if im just stuck in this perpetual drag? I can’t just cutbher off and let my sister die can I? Now all my life savings are gone. All my 20s gone, and I got nothing to show for it.
I resent her so much. I’m starting to hate her. I lock myself in my room all day because I’m scared that I will accidentally let my unkind thougts slip out.
One hand she’s my sister, I don’t want to lose her I love her. On the other hand…. I fel like I’m being punished
Comments
Is she taking any meds?
I hate to be a stereotypical redditor but…therapy. she needs therapy and medication.
She needs help and medication. Your mom just happily pass you the burden of her to you. Despite the fact that you say she isn’t a burden, the reality is that she is in fact a burden. And a huge one. Nothing (most specially a well capable adult with all limbs, eyesight, hearing, working legs, a working cognitive brain) is worth your own mental health and physical health.
What happens when you find a partner and want to move in with them or them with you? If you find a working opportunity somewhere else and you need to start from scratch and live with a roommate for a time being? Or f you simply want to live completely alone and save up for a vacation? Or a new car or a new place?
She isn’t a kid. She definitely isn’t your kid and she is capable of helping herself by seeking help outside of the couch, phone, fast food and dragging you. Talk to your mom and tell her you aren’t able to mentally take this load anymore and you need to give your sister back to her or give your sister an ultimatum. At some point in time, this pattern will have to be broken. The reality is that you aren’t able to carry with her burden for the rest of your life and what a better start than now.
Sometimes you have to help yourself and find your own village to succeed. I would continue living your life and not be bothered by your sister. Treat her like a roommate that doesn’t have to pay rent….She’s looking for someone to save her, and unfortunately that isn’t going to happen.
Does she agree that she is unwell? Is she receptive to mental health assistance? Maybe she would be open to looking into an inpatient stay at a mental health facility. It sounds like her depression is causing disfunction in her life, and that warrants the need for intervention. She, and you, should be able to enjoy life. How old is your sister?