I was on the bus heading to a nail appointment and I saw a police man checking speed. For some reason he walked in front of the motorcycle to try and flag it down and it hit him full force. I knew instantly that he was dead due to the force of the collision. His body flew 10ft in the air and was thrown to the ground like a crash test dummy. His arms and legs were in positions I could have never imagined. When I close my eyes all I see is him walking in front and the collision. I don’t know how to process this. I feel so much guilt for how I feel about this. His family and friends are the ones affected not me. I took the day off work as I couldn’t stop crying. I feel okay now but it comes and goes. I’m normally a very happy and preppy person but I fear I’ll never be myself again
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It isn’t your fault, I am sorry you saw that, you will be alright
Witnessing that was a very traumatic event. Anyone would react the way you are after seeing something so unexpected and gruesome. Treat yourself kindly. Do not feel guilty for being sad. You cared about this stranger and the world needs more of that. And frankly, I’d much rather know there are people out there who would be devastated by the death of someone they don’t know rather than feeling nothing.
Do you believe in an afterlife? I personally believe that we all go to a better place when we die. Maybe that would bring you some comfort?
I would suggest therapy, as it can really help to talk out what you saw.
I hope you’re doing better 🩷
Witnessing trauma and feeling it is a very human response. Seeing a person who dedicates their lives to the safety of others is also very painful. If
you are in Ireland and willing to talk about the accident they are looking for witnesses.