So I’m feeling anxious about something that happened maybe two years ago at my old job. I used to work at a busy coffee shop behind the counter and we had this one really weird couple that would always come in that just gave off really strange vibes. I think eventually they were banned from the store for another reason that I can’t remember. Anyway one time I saw the guy at the coffee shop, he’s like in his 50s.and he started talking to these younger girls outside who were maybe ages 10-13. He came into the shop and asked for waters for them so I gave the waters to him. I thought it was very weird that a grown man was talking to these young girls and I wanted to intervene but i felt like there wasn’t enough evidence for me to. I watched them for the rest of the time they were there to make sure nothing weird went on but I feel like maybe I should have said something. I also couldn’t hear what they were talking about. There were other people there and no one said anything. What should I have done?
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Bro, I totally get where you’re coming from. Hindsight’s always 20/20, right? Maybe next time if it don’t sit right with ya, just ring up someone in charge, say it’s a vibe check fail? Not snitching, just looking out ‘n’ stuff. Better safe than regretful, IMO. You did okay tho, just humaning here. 👍
You did what you could, stayed alert and made sure nothing obvious happened. In situations like that, telling a manager or calling authorities if you felt unsafe is ideal, but it’s understandable you froze without clear evidence. You were cautious and concerned, which matters.
Older people sometimes speak to younger. Did you give us all the facts? Did some older guy mess with you long ago? I don’t see a problem
Could it have been his daughter and friends?
Trust your gut next time – weird vibes + kids = definitely worth speaking up or calling someone.
I saw something like this at our hardware store, guy late 50s chatting with a couple of highschool girls…
Of course he’s their soccer coach (my nextdoor neighbor) so it was fine. But without that additional information, it would look sketchy. Just wanna say not every situation is safe nor is every situation bad. From your story they could have walked away, come inside for help, or alerted another adult. You didn’t have any actual information/observation to move this into a problem, so give yourself a break and move on.
I just want to say as someone who has had this feeling very strongly as well, I recommend looking into real-event OCD. It could have been weird that he was talking to them, I don’t know. Real-event OCD thrives on that ambiguity and the worry of replaying an old ambiguous memory for an example of you being an immoral person.
Maybe that doesn’t resonate with you but this post read like the thought processes I’ve been working through. Shit sucks lol.
The fact it was 2 years ago says it all. You didn’t act then so why act now? If it was that bad you would of acted then
If I’m out and I see one of my kids’ friends, I will say hi and maybe have a chat, I’m a man in my 40s. I would probably buy them a soft drink or something if they asked, I dont think that’s weird, just basic good manners.
I think you did what you could with the information you had in front of you (which wasn’t a lot) the most you could have done is called Law Enforcement to report a concern. But again, you didn’t know the situation in front of you. Could have been one of their dads, uncles, coaches etc.
I hate that feeling of “should I have done more,” but overthinking it is just going to continue to give you anxiety. It sounds like you’re a very caring person if this is still bothering you years later!
Wait , I just want to know, how’s that couple who got banned relevant with this incident?
What world do we live in where people can’t be nice and do something good for others without being suspected of being a predator?