I’m in college and currently helping take care of my newborn niece while my sister recovers. We just got her 3 days ago. The baby is staying at my dad’s house with us. A few days ago, I sent my sister a picture of her baby sleeping in the living room on a bed on the floor, and that one photo somehow sparked a whole mess I wasn’t ready for.
After I sent it, she started asking questions like why the bassinet wasn’t set up, where the baby was sleeping, and why she wasn’t in my dad’s room. I answered honestly. The bassinet hadn’t been set up yet because my dad was taking a while with it, and the baby was sleeping in the living room because his room wasn’t fully cleaned up yet. I also mentioned that I’d been helping with feedings and diaper changes at night, mostly because I was up late studying anyway—I like to stay up the night before exams. It wasn’t really a case of my dad dumping everything on me; I kind of chose to do it myself.
But then I told her that my dad doesn’t wear his hearing aid at night, so he can’t hear when the baby cries. That really set her off. I tried to calm her down and even told her not to call him, because I didn’t want it to become a big issue. I even told her that he’s great with the baby during the day and that the hearing aid is really the only issue. But she just kept pushing. Now she’s saying she’s going to FaceTime me randomly to see if he’s wearing it, and if he’s not, she’s going to take the baby back and not let him have full custody.
Now my dad is mad at me because he feels like I made him look bad to her, and he doesn’t want to be told what to do. I feel awful. I didn’t mean to stir up drama—I was just updating her and answering her questions. I didn’t realize it would blow up like this. I get that it probably sounded worse in the texts than it actually is, and maybe I should’ve explained things better. But I wasn’t trying to cause a fight. I’m just stuck in the middle now, and I don’t know how to fix this or what I should do next.
Edit: I realize I am making the same mistakes on this post that I made with the messages after I sent my sister that picture. My father is great with the baby, and he does change her diaper and do a lot for the baby. He is in no way making me take care of this baby the majority of the time. He knows I am in school, so he makes sure to feed, change, and care for her, while I am studying. I was just expressing to my sister in the messages of how I was changing diapers for the first time in the middle of the night, and I wanted it to be looked at as a positive. But, I should’ve explained it properly, because it turned out really bad. Now, she won’t give my pops full custody unless he can show that he is committed to wearing his hearing aids. When he was in the hospital with them, they noticed that a 1-hour conversation turned into a 3-hour conversation, because he couldn’t hear well. When I brought up his hearing problems in the message, she grew concerned. Saying all of this, because my father is not a bad father, just stubborn.
Edit: The baby isn’t with my sister because the boy who is also the father is a butthole. She’s a single mother who works all the time, so she doesn’t really have time to take care of the baby by herself. So, it was either adoption or someone in the family had to take care of the baby. My Father volunteered and so he now has the baby. We only had her for about 3 days, and my sister and the father was suppose to go to the court house and transfer full custody over to my father. My messages kind of screwed that up, and now she’s going to call me randomly to see if he is actually wearing his hearing aids, otherwise there will be no full custody.
Edit: The bassinet was bought on the same day my Father brought the baby home. I would’ve set it up myself, but my father is one of those people, who wants to do everything his way, which means watching hundreds of videos on setting a bassinet up, and making sure it’s done correctly. I was constantly telling him to set it up, but I kept getting the same replies about doing it correctly over and over.
Edit: My sister and her on-again-off-again boyfriend have a really unstable relationship. They already have one child together, and unfortunately, she’s going through the exact same problems now that she went through with the first baby. The boyfriend’s mom ended up taking care of their first kid, which honestly should’ve been a wake-up call—but my sister didn’t learn from that. I love her, but it’s frustrating watching her repeat the same cycle with someone who clearly isn’t good for her.
She lives on her own and works a 9-to-5 job, so realistically, she doesn’t have the capacity to raise a baby on her own right now. She couldn’t get an abortion either because she lives in one of those states where the legal window to make that decision is insanely short—like 4 to 6 weeks, maybe a little longer, but still not enough time.
She’s also dealing with a lot of personal issues, including what looks like postpartum depression. That plays a huge role in all of this.
Last Friday, my dad went to the hospital to help sort everything out and pick up the baby. My sister and her boyfriend were both there, and the three of them were talking through everything. What was supposed to be a one-hour conversation turned into three hours, mostly because my dad is hard of hearing and kept asking them to repeat things or explain again. They both noticed and seemed concerned about it.
Once my dad brought the baby home, I didn’t mind helping. I was actually excited to wake up and change diapers and do all that. But it also happened to be the night of my final exam, so I only got about two hours of sleep. When I mentioned that to my sister, she completely misunderstood and assumed my dad was forcing the baby on me. I tried to explain that the issue isn’t him trying to push responsibility on me—it’s just that he can’t really hear the baby cry when she’s in the living room at night, which was the same concern she had at the hospital.
The bassinet is set up, and the baby is now in my fathers room where he can hear her. I told my sister this, but she wants him to wear his hearing aid, and she will randomly call me to see whether he is wearing his hearing aids. If he’s not committed to wearing his hearing aids, the she will come up here, and take her baby and find someone else who can raise her baby.
My father got mad at me because I basically unintentionally ratted him out, and now he’s freaking out that he won’t get full custody. He very much loves this baby.
Comments
Jesus H Jones. Your dad is abusing (neglecting) a newborn and you just causally sent a picture to your sister about it.
I hope she can come get the kid.
First, this isn’t your responsibility. If your father wants custody, your father needs to be the primary caregiver. Period. You are being taken advantage of & then guilt-tripped into thinking you’ve done something wrong by telling the truth. If the truth makes him look bad, that’s not your fault. He needs to step up in practice & not just in name. NTA
You and your Dad both need a reality check. Your poor sister must be frantic with the realisation that she’s left her baby with such a pair of incompetents. Your father’s not to be trusted with a baby so you should take over until your sister gets back. YTA.
I don’t understand why your sister doesn’t have custody of her child.
I don’t get why your dad would have full custody of the baby first of all anyway? The baby should absolutely be sleeping in a bassinet that is a safe sleeping bare minimum.
Get the baby back to your sister
Info: why exactly does your sister not have her baby with her? Why does your dad have full custody?
This isn’t your fault. You have done nothing wrong. However your sister is right to be concerned about the situation and whatever she decided will be between her and your father.
Tbh it doesn’t sound like a brilliant situation for a little one – a bassinet that hasn’t been set up, a room that still sint ready and tidied and a care giver who despite knowing they are responsible has taken their hearing aid out.
You must realise it’s not a situation that can continue. Babies need round the clock care in a safe environment and I’m not sure from what you’ve said that your dad is able to provide that without significant input from you, and your sister may not be comfortable with that. And that is up to her.
What’s the reason the baby isn’t with your sister? I’m so confused.
It’s been THREE DAYS and the bassinet and room still isn’t ready? There’s no excuse for that.
What is your sister recovering from? Why does your dad want full custody? NTA but the newborn should have a quiet, safe place to sleep and your dad should be able to hear her if she gets up at night.
If your sister wants to knit pick the care of the baby then she can come take care of it herself. NTA but your sister absolutely is.
NTA, but next time she asks you anything, just tell her to ask your dad. Your sister has typical new mom fears and anxiety. It doesn’t excuse her treatment of you, but it’s how she is right now. There’s no harm in the baby sleeping on a bed on the floor and you’re certainly old enough to help care for your niece. I’m not sure why she’s so insistent on having your dad do everything-not realistic on her part. I would absolutely refuse to FaceTime with her or give her any info or pictures. Just let your sister and your dad figure this out and completely refuse to be drawn into their tiff.
There’s things missing…
The bassinet should’ve been setup and the room ready before the baby got there.
Your sister has every right to be concerned. After all… it’s her baby.
If your Dad is supposed to take care of the baby, then he NEEDS his hearing aid on. I’m sorry but it’s common sense, and he can cram the “I don’t like being told what to do” you know where.
Definitely not enough information. Lots left out. We need context.
Setting up a bassinet is the bare minimum and providing a clean and safe space for it, is also minimum. I understand why your sister got upset. Baby should not be on a mattress in a living room away from the adults where one can not even hear it. If anything, baby should be in your room at night, not your fathers. Unless he can afford to set up technology that would allow him to feel vibrations that wake him up at night.
You didn’t do anything wrong telling her the truth. She needed to know so she can help you both better the situation if that is where baby is to stay. Your Dad needs to do better. I would suggest getting your hands on some parenting videos for how-to care for newborns and watch them. It would help a lot.
Saw your edit: No. You are not explaining it badly. Your father is being neglectful, which is a form of abuse. How he is behaving is absolutely not okay. You need to get this into your head now before something terrible happens.
Babies die all the time from unsafe sleeping conditions which is what you have now. This is not your sister freaking out. This is a genuine risk to the baby’s life over your father being “stubborn.” His behavior is despicable and disturbing.
I feel like she shouldn’t have an opinion if she doesn’t even have custody of HER OWN kid.
Her concerns are entirely valid, idc how much you think he’s doing right. The stuff that needs to be done NEEDS to be done. Baby sleeping in the living room alone is a major fuck no imo. She was valid to be angry and you didn’t explain poorly, you’re just trying to make excuses for your dad it sounds like. He might be a great guy but this was his fuck up.
Are you going to give up your life to raise this child?
Your sister gave the baby to your father so she doesn’t really have a say
Your sister needs to find better childcare.
NTA sister can’t give up the baby because she can’t take care of it, then complain when people aren’t doing things exactly as she would. If she wants it her way, she can raise the baby. If she wants grandpa to raise it, then she has to let grandpa raise it. It’s like the phrase “you can ask me to do something, or show me how to do it, but not both.”
So she’s giving her baby away because she can’t take care of her, but she thinks she can dictate how you and your dad are caring for her? She should be thanking him for keeping her child out of the system. NTA
Am I reading correctly that OP is changing diapers late at night because OP is staying up late studying? Why is it okay for OP to take care of the baby while studying, but not okay for the baby’s mother to take care of the baby because she works? They are definitely taking advantage of OP in this situation.
I feel like Its a concern for someone to be taking custody of a baby that can’t heat them at night time. So I get that that’s an issue to your sister. They should just have a conversation?
Your sister is so keen to stay with a butthole that she’d rather give up custody than work out a way to stay with her child (could she have not moved home to where your dad is with her baby and without the butthole??)
So she has very little say in how the baby she isn’t caring for at all is cared for by your dad who took on custody.
On the flip side it’s not ok that the baby is sleeping on the floor in the living room and its legal guardian has failed to make the bassinet the baby should be sleeping in, and far worse, refuses to wear hearing aids that would let him hear it the baby is in distress during the night. That’s not ok.
All in all AH all round.
You did nothing wrong by sending the photos or information. What an utter shitshow of people offloading their responsibilities.
NtA, so what youre saying is that your loser of a sister is dating another loser so they cant take care of their child so they’ve passed their responsibilities on to dear old dad. Who, graciously decided to be a parent again in his old age to support his loser of a daughter.
Then this fucking ungrateful bitch wants to complain that her elderly father doesn’t wear his hearing aides while sleeping and thinks she should have ANY say in raising a child she essentially abandoned…
Your sister and the father of her child are giant assholes. You don’t get to abandon a child and then try to judge the people that stepped up for the kid. Your father seems to be an amazing parent for even offering, and by your own account does a great job.
Your edit does not explain why your dad has your sister’s baby. What does the boy father being a “butthole” mean re: your sister not having custody.
Does she have another child? If she is giving up custody of a newborn baby, then she isn’t a single working mom, unless there’s another kid.
How old is your sister?
NTA. She gave up her baby for her boyfriend. She doesn’t have a right to complain at all about a child she obviously cares nothing about.
A bit off topic here, but make sure they follow through with the legal side of things. I’ve seen families raise kids (family members) for years just to have the parents come back and take them away.
It’s not your fault, but your sister has very good points. Neither she nor your father are being good parents.
If you weren’t there, would the baby just scream all night?
How long will the baby sleep on the floor?
Is the bed on the floor rated safe for newborns? a safe sleeping area is the bare minimum for a newborn. Bassinets are designed for that, and should be setup BEFORE the baby is born. I remember at the hospital, before we left, they asked us if we had a bassinet already setup
Honestly if she gave custody to your dad then she doesn’t get a say in anything
ESH let your sister put the baby up for adoption so someone who has the time and resources can love and care for her. Your dad being “stubborn” refusing to put in his hearing aides is dangerous. The baby being on the floor is dangerous. The bassinet not being set up is inexcusable. You trying to keep the baby with family is understandable, but isn’t what’s best for the baby.
Remind your sister that millions of deaf and hard of hearing people successfully raise wonderful children. Maybe help your Dad search for devices that assist “hearing challenged” parents. There everything from monitors that turn on lights when baby cries, to devices that vibrate under your pillow to alert you to baby’s cries. An app called NANIT it has adaptations available for example. Price range is varied.
I think your Dad is an AMAZING man to take on this challenge! I have nothing but respect for him. And kudos to you for stepping up to help. You guys got this!
Being a single mother, and working is no reason to give custody of your child to someone else. That’s what you get a babysitter for. Even if your father is the one who’s going to take care of the baby while your sister works she should still have custody of her child with help. So instead, it sounds like your sister is abandoning her child. The child’s father is abandoning the child. They’re dumping the baby on your father who needs to rely on you because he refuses to wear his hearing aids and he can’t properly hear a crying baby.
Your entire family is failing this newborn and perhaps adoption to a set responsible parents who will do what’s necessary- like setting up a proper bed and cleaning the space and ensuring they can hear the child cry- would be the better option.
ESH
NTA. Your sister is the AH and sort of your dad. Your dad shouldn’t have taking on this responsibility if he couldn’t fully take care of the baby. He should’ve had his house ready for the baby before it was born. I’m seriously side eyeing your sister for literally everything. Maybe this baby needs to be adopted to people ready and willing to raise a child.
Since I can’t see anyone else saying this, I will. Your dad needs to be able to hear the baby 24 hours a day. Full stop. No “I need some time off”. No “I need some quiet sleep time”. A caregiver for a child needs to be able to respond to a child around the clock, especially a newborn. Deaf parents have systems set up where lights flash or something they keep with them vibrates when the baby monitor detects sound. If he truly doesn’t want to wear his hearing aids, he needs to get one of those so that’s always alerted… even in the middle of the night.
Your dad is at least my age, maybe even older. Every generation has their ways of raising children that become outdated and replaced by better, safer ways of being. I have to wonder if your dad is updating to all the current best practices, because it really doesn’t sound like it. This baby will probably be better off adopted out.
You were intentioned.
Your sister is the AH for a multitude of reasons.
Deaf people can be wonderful, attentive parents. Your dad not wearing his hearing aid when he is sleeping is not a tragedy.
It would be best if the baby was not sleeping on a random mattress on the floor.
Your sister is the AH. This poor baby.
Many hearing aids need to be recharged at night and are super uncomfortable to sleep in.
NTA, she’s going through some thing’s especially if she just got rid of her newborn. Cut her a bit of slack but you don’t always have to take her calls. Tell her you were busy taking care of the child.
She has basically abandoned the child so her case is weak if she demands it back to give to someone else
I read the edited parts and my spider-sense is still tingling.
I don’t know this, but wouldn’t wearing hearing aids while sleeping be terribly uncomfortable??
Ok. So you didn’t intend to be the ah, but you are. Your actions caused drama. Your sister does not want custody of her kid, so don’t send her pics. It’s none of her business where the kid is sleeping. A newborn sleeping on the floor in the living room is no big deal to me, I know many will grasp at their pearls I said this. But you need to get on your dad to get the bassinet put together before baby grows out of it. And it sounds like you and dad are co-parenting or taking shifts. As long as baby has one of you caring for them at all times, it’s no concern of your sister’s when dad has his hearing aides in, you and dad have that covered. It doesn’t sound to me like there is a safety issue. But dad really should get stuff done faster.
If she’s so fucking irresponsible that she can’t even bring this kid home from the hospital, she does NOT need to be bitching at the people who are stepping up to ensure she even has a shot at a relationship.
So much could have been prevented in so many ways.
Don’t date jackasses.
Don’t get pregnant for jackssses.
If you can barely take care of yourself and are dating a jackass, use birth control.
If you can’t afford proper contraceptives don’t maybe stick to oral and finger f*cking and lay off full penetration.
There are so many places to call for an abortion. Some would even help you get a bus to a state where they are legal.
I could go on and on but miss me with that “but birth control isn’t 100% effective” bs. This chick is totally irresponsible and I’m so happy OP is in college to put herself in a better place in life to not be a screw up like her sister.
NTA. Your sister has no say in where that baby sleeps. As long as it’s comfortable and not in that hell hole im sure is the place your sister resides, then its fine. BUT your dad needs to take responsibility of what he ASKED for and get the bed set up. He also cannot go without his hearing aids, unless the baby is right next to him.
It’s dumb to think if it’s asleep, especially if it’s in another room that he doesn’t need them. It shouldn’t be put onto you. You’re amazing for all the help you’re giving, on top of studying.
NTA. Your dad made himself look bad.
No shade at all, but you talk a little much. Do your best to support your father taking care of the baby and leave it at that until he receives legal custody.
Your dad needs to wear his hearing aids or find another solution. As the primary caregiver, he should want to be able to monitor the baby at all times.
I don’t understand why your sister doesn’t take care of her own kid. Her job schedule is no different than most people 9-5. She sounds extremely irresponsible, continually getting pregnant and wanting everyone else to clean up her mess.
If she wants an opinion she should be the one raising her own children. You don’t get to make demands when you are not taking responsibility. I hope she has got some long term birth control or this is going to keep happening. How many children is grandpa going to raise for her. Perhaps she should have chosen adoption, then she wouldn’t be receiving any photos at all.
OP, you’re not making a mistake by describing what your dad is doing. I understand you love your dad and you don’t want people to be angry at him. He must be great with the baby during the day, but he can’t just not be aware of what is going on with the baby during the night. That is the whole reason why having a newborn is exhausting. Three days and the baby’s room isn’t clean, the baby’s crib isn’t up… That’s not ok. This is when they are most vulnerable and they need an adult that is capable of taking care of them. Don’t take this as a personal attack on your dad. It’s just that not being able to hear if baby starts crying and needs a diaper change during the night is not safe.
So no, you did nothing wrong. The fight between them is just because your dad seems to have insisted to keep a newborn that he just isn’t able to give the care they need at this stage. And who knows what’s going on with your sister… At this sub you need to give complete, clear information so that we can answer your question.
Several things as a mom of 3:
there is nothing wrong with not having the bassinet set-up. This is no indicator of having a safe sleeping environment or not. What makes a safe sleeping environment is whether the mattress in the living room is soft or firm. If the mattress is soft, I’d recommend that you put the baby in a box and swaddle. Babies have no neck strength and if they roll their faces into the mattress, they can suffocate. In fact, a box in the living room can be safer than a bassinet with a pillow inside of it. People flipping out about a bassinet have never had babies or have certain aesthetics which has no bearing on safety. Also, the bassinet people should look up babies in boxes in Finland.
the living room is actually a very practical and great place for the baby to sleep if a sleeping surface has not been set up for the baby in its own room. This thread clearly doesn’t have a lot of parents because the actual drama usually comes in discussions about having the baby sleep in its own room vs. in the room with the carer. I am a sleep in the same room with the baby kind of person. But regardless, babies spend pretty much the whole day sleeping, even through the day, so if you are monitoring the baby the whole day like I did and spend a ton of time in the living room, the baby ends up sleeping in the living room more often than their own room. My last baby ended up in a box in the living room more often than her $500 bassinet …serious waste of money. It sounds like you are attending to the baby while awake so I don’t see a huge problem. But maybe set up a monitor.
if the dad knows that the sister would be caring through the night, I don’t see an issue with not wearing a hearing aid. Experienced parents often split up baby duty through the night. I was in my late 30s when my 3rd was born and it was too tiring for me to wake up through the night while also being responsible through the day. My husband was solely responsible through late evening while I slept. Many parents have some sort of baby duty split. If you are happy to help out, I don’t see a problem here. It’s like people haven’t heard of night nurses on this thread.
Has your sister ever had a baby before? She’s flipping out about all the wrong things. If I were her, I’d be making sure that 1) the mattress is firm and no blankets/pillows/stuffed toys are nearby, 2) you and your dad have an agreed upon schedule for baby duties, 3) have a monitor in the living room….and I would be happy.
NTA – Your picture did not cause a problem, it
revealed the underlying problems of the entire situation.
Look, your father and sister should have been on the same page about raising this child. They are not. If your sister wants to be involved she needs custody of her own kid or to place the child with adoptive parents and let go.
This was going to be an issue eventually, the moment your sister saw something she disagreed with regarding your fathers parenting, and to be honest I think she’s right that the house needed to be baby proofed immediately and a safe sleeping area is a baseline.
I don’t think your father is a bad parent, I think he’s never been mother to a newborn and parent recommendations have changed a lot in a few decades. PLUS, him not hearing the baby cry at night IS a problem.
There are a lot of moving parts in this particular situation and it’s extremely emotionally volatile. None of that is your fault.
You are not a parent, you are an eagerly helpful auntie/uncle.
Deaf people raise babies all the time. Your sister is overreacting. Especially since you are in the home too and can hear the baby. I think she’s having second thoughts about giving up the baby and is grasping for a reason. Just don’t communicate with her anymore except to assure her once that the baby is safe and she should sign the documents.
“Works a 9-5 job and lives on her own so realistically can’t take care of a baby on her own right now”
What do you think single parents DO?
Sleeping with a hearing aids has got be uncomfortable, plus they need to be charged. I’m sure there are better ways for hearing impaired that have children. I think sister needs to be grateful she has loving family to fall back on. What’s she taught you is to not take pictures for her to critique and threaten you with.
You need to stfu and stop trying to brag and get pats on the head for changing a diaper.
You caused all the because you wanted to boast and get recognition for doing basic shit. Mind your business and understand you’re too stupid to get involved. Your sister with PPD lost her child and now she needs to deal with “I only got two hours sleep the night before my finals because I was up changing your child’s diaper” texts.
NTA. Your sister needs to keep her legs closed if she can’t take care of her children by herself. She sounds extremely self-centered and immature and completely irresponsible. I hope to christ she swallows next time. She doesn’t have custody of the first kid but decides to have another because she’s an irresponsible sl*t. Then, questions the way other people are caring for them when she herself isn’t even capable. Stop telling her anything. She doesn’t deserve your updates. If she wants to know how her child is, she should grow up and parent her children.
I don’t know if any of this is real, but if so, your dad should simply wear his hearing aids. You didn’t mention why he doesn’t. Other than that, make the alarms in the bedroom and other places much louder when he takes out his hearing aids-it needs to be a ritual with a check.
You seem like you want to help raise the baby, I wish you all good luck with that.
I was also a SAHP I was the e primary caregiver so yeah we can do it
Your sister needs to grow up
Despite their relationship, your sisters on-again-off-again boyfriend needs to step the fuck up.
People keep saying that the father needs to wear his hearing aids at night, but that’s usually when you charge them. Squishing them against a pillow while you sleep would probably dislodge them, anyway.
This doesn’t make sense. She isn’t working right now, she’s on leave after having a baby, at least 6 weeks & women take care of their newborns everyday while recovering. If she is recovering & she needs help, why isn’t she living with HER child? She doesn’t HAVE to live with the baby’s father. If he is wearing his hearing aid during the day, why couldn’t he understand them when he went to the hospital. None of this makes sense.
Not being able to hear the baby at night is incredibly dangerous.
So many questions!
I don’t wear my hearing aids especially when sleeping and I still manage to hear my baby in a different room. Who the hell wears hearing aids while sleeping! My OH has no issues with his hearing and sleeps through the crying. Mums tend to wake up because of their maternal instincts and the pitch of babies cry. It’s not your dad’s job to bring up his daughter’s kid, that would be her job, it’s not even a job tbh it should be an honour! Poor kids sounds like it’s being failed on so many levels here and that is not okay!
I would think being able to hear a baby cry in the middle of the night was pretty important.
This post is as dysfunctional as the family sounds. Thumbs down.
Getting spayed and neutered should be really cheap, like subsidized free cheap for people that should not be parents.
NTA but your sister is.
People are NOT supposed to sleep with hearing aids for quite a few reasons. Your sister should educate herself about that and birth control.
If she isn’t caring for the baby she should butt the hell out. I hope your father intends to adopt the baby or have her give up her rights as a parent because I know she’ll come back to take the baby after it’s grown and the hard parts are over.
Millions of women work 9-5 jobs and raise their own children. Even single ones. I know because I’m one of them. It’s called getting childcare and it is costly but you do what you have to do.
I’m sorry you’re stuck in this mess your sister created. Your dad is a good man but he shouldn’t be blaming you. All of this is 100% created by her.
I hope this blows over soon so you guys can enjoy your niece.
If you haven’t already and live in the US contact your states Commission for the Deaf. They offer many tools for free that can help you. Ex/ in my state you can get device that flashes bright light or can vibrate your bed when you need to be alerted to something.
Here are reasons you should not sleep with hearing aids:
You’re doing great. I hate you’re placed in this position by your sister. Your dad sounds like he’s doing the best he can but I hope he apologizes to you quickly and manages his emotions better. I hope he gets legal guidance on the your niece too.
Why is your sister not living in the same house as the baby? She doesn’t even understand the living arrangements and has apparently not even visited her own child. If she is too busy to have a baby she should give it up for adoption. How is this baby going to bond with its mother? Why is a guy who can’t hear the baby cry at night taking care of the baby? This is a terrible situation!!
This is a bad bad setup. Your sister has to take responsibility. Working a 9-5 job does not stop you from being a parent. She needs to step up and get proper care or place the baby elsewhere. I’m not sure how old your dad is but he’s not up for this. Not hearing or somehow monitoring a newborn’s activities is unacceptable. And newborns are easy except the sleep deprivation. This baby will become an older baby and toddler which require a lot of energy. What about when you are done with school. Do you want to be the caregiver to both your dad and baby?
If she doesn’t want the baby, she has no room to complain. She wants to raise the baby on FT!!
Sounds like the baby’s father is either abusing or just an addict of some sort it just straight up awful. From what it sounds like he helps with nothing and does nothing. Either way this is their second child!!!! The first was given the baby’s fathers mom n now they r passing off another child into the moms dad. Sounds like neither want to b parents but want the title having a child gives. Shame on them both. If I were u I’d cut her off……..
Your sister is the AH. And, you’re a shit stirrer. If i was grandpa, I’d tell the sister “ok, you can have your child and deal with your own business. Don’t expect any help.” And leave it at that. Sister cant even take care of her own child, doesn’t even have the proper judgement to procreate with someone who can take lead if something happens….and somehow believes she has the right to demean and demand things? She sounds like a narcissist looking for a problem instead of appreciating all the help she’s getting. Shes the ONLY one benefitting from this arrangement whatsoever. Not even the baby benefits. The baby has to be away from their own mother. The sister is an issue 100%.
Idk why you’d go on complain about shi to your sister, maybe wanted to look like youre taking charge while undermining your dad? Smh just sounds like a disgusting affair all around. I only feel for the old man with the hearing aid, the grandpa, getting shitted on for caring for his daughter/granddaughter. Very few grandparents would be willing at such an age to care for a chikd all over again. Smh disgusting.
Oh honey… I feel for you. You described everything in your first post clearly. All the other questions people are asking is only because they are nosey. I can help you without knowing the entire backstory. It is simple… you did nothing wrong and you cannot fix it. All you can do is keep yourself on your life’s path and help out when you can which it sounds like you are doing. Your family sounds like a handful, and you can’t let their lives swish you down their path with them. I think you’re an amazing sister to be so caring. Your sister shouldn’t put you in the middle and neither should your dad. Keep your nose in your books and create your own life that’s void of this chaos. Hugs from AZ.