I have known his pass code for a while now, but have never used it until now. He was sleeping and I found messages between him and his friends, in a group chat, talking about me and other women. One of his friends keeps saying he would f*ck me and my boyfriend just ignores it even after I spoke to him about it the first time (which he told me about), and he promised me he wouldn’t allow it again. I also found my boyfriend trying to get his friends to rate girls on IG, which he also promised to stop doing and engaging with that stuff. I read about him telling his friends about how my period is late, how he won’t change his ways for anyone, and how he tells me to lose weight because he won’t be with a girl who blows up on him. I’m just disgusted and I really do think it’s this macho type persona he’s putting on for his friends to seem like the man, but I hate it. I don’t even know how to confront since I obviously shouldn’t have been snooping, but I feel super disconnected now and don’t know how to pretend I’m okay. I had an idea that something like this was happening behind my back, but I wasn’t sure if it was just my trauma. He also says that I’m really defensive and guarded because of my past, but then look how he is behind my back… how can I trust anyone again? I’m lost.
I snooped and found disturbing things in my boyfriend’s phone.
r/Advice
Comments
You should not feel bad at all about going into his phone. Although I wouldn’t recommend it. If he’s saying anything about your weight he’s not good enough for you. No guy should ever criticize a woman’s weight.
I personally would sit him down and have a candid talk. What he is doing isn’t right in my book and how can you have an honest and open relationship if he is objectifying women and talking about your personal information like that? It seems like a red flag to me but I could be wrong. Be honest and open! You got this!
Just tell him and break up. Easier said then don’t but I think it’s your only alternative right now
The very moment you thought you had to go through his phone should end the relationship.
He sounds like he is not good enough for a qween like yourself. I’m not saying you’re perfect but I’m saying you’re justified if you decide to get the balls to leave him. I’ll actually lend you one of mine to do so if need be (I’m a girl and this is a joke but a serious one)
Find someone who values and loves you the way you would them. Most men are assholes – I am a man and probably had my moments too before I grew up at around 40….🤷♂️
He sounds like a real jerk to me.
It’s not as easy as some people think from a distance. Take your time. Think it through.
Get your own affairs in order. Don’t “sit him down for a talk.” You would be wasting your time and giving him an opportunity to find ways to torture you. You know for a fact that he’s not letting anyone change him and that he doesn’t respect you. Believe him and take him out of your equation. You’re worth more than that.