When I first started this FWB thing, I really thought I could handle it. It felt simple and fun, and honestly it was exactly what I thought I needed. No pressure, no expectations, just spending time together and hooking up when it worked for both of us. For a while it really did feel casual and easy.
But now I’ve noticed things shifting for me. I’m starting to catch feelings and it’s throwing me off. It’s not just that he’s great in bed, it’s that I find myself actually missing him and thinking about him outside of when we see each other. I’ll be going about my day and something will remind me of him, and I realize I’m treating this situation like more than just a hookup even though we never agreed on that.
The problem is, from the beginning we never talked about being anything more than friends with benefits. That was the whole point. I don’t know if he feels the same way or if he’s perfectly happy keeping it casual. I keep going back and forth on whether I should bring it up and risk making things awkward, or just keep my feelings to myself and try to manage them.
Part of me feels like I’d rather be honest and find out where I stand instead of playing it cool and slowly getting more attached. But another part of me is scared of losing what we have, because even if it’s not serious, I still enjoy spending time with him. It feels like no matter what I choose, there’s a chance I’ll end up hurt.
So now I’m confuzzled not knowing how to move forward. Should I take the risk and be upfront with him about how I’m starting to feel, or should I just accept that this is what I signed up for and find a way to distance myself before it gets worse?
Comments
The challenging aspect about fwb is that emotions might appear when you least expect them to. You may either start backing off before things get too complicated or be direct and see if he agrees. In any case, it will hurt more in the long term to act as though you don’t feel it.
Just realize that if you keep your feelings to yourself and continue this relationship you are going to get hurt even more later on if he doesn’t feel the same way. I’m a guy and I was never any good at the casual continued sex. I always started catching feelings or I ended up not being attached enough to continue the relationship
How often are you seeing him? Id say no more than once a week no sleep overs but ideally once every 2weeks
This is one of those situations where honesty usually saves you more pain long term. If you’re already catching feelings, pretending you’re fine with casual will only make it harder down the line. Might sting if he doesn’t feel the same, but at least you’ll know instead of being stuck in limbo.
You are worth more than degrading yourself to an object. Ofc i dont know how you guys see each other but, usually a relationship and having boundries over the sexuality is the strongest form of self respect.
Dont let yourself get treated like an object.
I wish you guys all the best wich ever way you choose.
Let this be a lesson? Everyone has their own perspectives.
Have a nice life.