It was a normal weekday. I was tired and my phone rang, and I saw it was my friend. We usually text, so I figured I’d just call him back the next day. By morning, I found out he had taken his own life later that night.
I know there’s no way to know what he would’ve said, or if talking to me would’ve changed anything. Maybe it wouldn’t have. But that missed call lives rent-free in my head. Sometimes I replay that moment.. me just looking at the phone, then putting it face down and I wonder if he felt like no one was there. It hurts in a way that never really goes away.
I don’t talk about it much in real life. It’s just one of those things that quietly follows me around till the end.
Comments
Sorry for your loss.
Sorry your going through that, try not to put blame on yourself. It’s always going to ring in your head.
You will always play the what it’s in your head, over time it’ll become less frequent.
I’ve lost 2 friends and my girlfriend to suicide, never had a call like yourself.
I have been involved in suicide awareness and education.
My best guess from other people’s experiences with their interaction with their person shortly before they left this world, they seemed fine and we’re making a quick social call.
Even if you answered, you may not gotten any signs or indication.
My girlfriend didn’t give any signs when I was with her the day earlier, I beat myself up for a long time convincing myself that she probably did and I missed it.
Maybe talk to someone bro, even 1 of those hotlines.
The only thing that helped me, was time