So basically like the title says, I will usually buy tickets to events for instance and will tell my friends its $50 for example when really its $100. I just eat the cost because I want to go with my friends and I know if it is too expensive they won’t want to go or their wives won’t let them go. I think I make more than most of them but we really don’t talk about finances though mostly I am single with no family which means I have more disposable income then they do.
Is this shitty of me to do? Should I be more upfront about this? Would you feel weird if you found out your friend was doing this?
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Wanna be friends and pay for half my stuff?
No I think it’s nice of you to do. Shows how much you care about spending time with them. It’s something I’d definitely always keep to myself though.
That’s a great thing to do. They don’t need to know.
I’ve done this. Just keep doing what you’re doing but if one of them says something, just be upfront and tell them it was important to you that they were there and that the cost was worth it. They’ll probably buy you a beer or something lol
Edit: best thing to do would just say “hey I’ll cover half your ticket if you go with me” though
Idk, I see it as you buying their time. Almost like they don’t really want to spend time with you unless you bribe them. It’s different than just occasionally saying “this is on me” if you’re consistently telling them lower prices so that they agree to go.
Now obviously, you haven’t explicitly told them you’re doing this, but your friends can’t ALL be completely oblivious to the price of things… To some degree they have to know you’re picking up the tab. And that is something that nefarious individuals can take advantage of….
Not a good scenario if that’s the case. Wouldn’t you rather have friends who want to spend time together or go do things without you having to invite them at a discount?
Honestly if I found out a friend did that to make it more likely I’d go, I’d be flattered, because it means you valued my company over the money, and you also didn’t want to hurt my pride by telling me you covered half. That’s a good friend.
I do this with one friend. Oddly, I’m pretty sure he’s done it to me, too.
I relate to this so hard.
The older we get the harder it is to find people to spend time with.
I do this too. It’s been akward a few times when someone knows the actual cost of things and they ask how I got such a good deal, but in general I find it does more good than harm even if there is a bumbling white lie once in a while.
If you are feeling guilty about lieing to your friends maybe just offer to cover 100% of things and not tell them the price at all and then let them “get the next one”. If the next one is way cheaper, that’s fine and you end up square enough.
I just took a friend to a concert literally last weekend. I paid kind of crazy after market for the tickets but didn’t want him to feel guilty or weird about it, so ended up proposing that I got the tickets and flights and he covered the hotel and then we were square.
No, it’s not shitty. If cost is a barrier and you’re happy reducing that barrier, it’s good for everyone involved. I’m sure you’re also accepting they don’t actually owe you anything, especially if they don’t know it’s happening.
I would definitely feel weird and guilty if I found out, but I don’t see how that would help anyone. I wouldn’t want my friend to pay for me regularly, and if I can’t afford to go out, I won’t.
If you can keep this up for the rest of your life, I would be impressed. Though if these are real lifelong friends and they’re reasonable with money, maybe you’ll get a return in retirement.
I’ll occasionally just buy the tickets for my friends and tell them to buy me a few beers or something
Not shitty, more like pathetic. Sorry.
I do this to varying degrees as well. I make more than my friends and they often have to travel to see me as well. 200 dollar tickets to me are not a big splurge, but to them it’s past the tipping point. It’s not the actual dollar value, it’s the relative dollar value. Dishonest? Maybe, but I don’t think anyone is complaining if you’re the one eating the cost. Just be sure to mix it up a bit like, “hey my friend couldn’t make it and I have an extra ticket”, is a totally justifiable and common scenario.
Hey I need a new truck you can just ask me for 1/2, you rock!
I have a hard time imagining your friends are not aware of pricing, seems odd they are that ill informed, so I assume they know you pay and like it. Nothing wrong with being nice but not to a point of being taken advantage of either.
Cheers
It’s definitely not shitty.
That being said, I can’t decide if it’s a nice gesture or if it’s sort of sad. I believe you when you say why, but it could just as easily be seen as “buying friends”.
What I am totally sure of, it is pathetic for a dude to be in his 30s and have his wife tell him $100 is too much to spend on something.
Its not shitty if u dont mind eating the cost. But realistically u should just find cheaper things to do with them. Spending money on your friends every now an then is a given in any good friendship. But if you’re doing it often and not having the behavior reciprocated, it just seems more logical to set up cheaper hangs
I’ll be your friend.