I 27f have been with my boyfriend 33m for 3 years now. We currently live together and have been for the last 7/8 months. In the last couple of months he makes no effort to spend time with me or even help around his own apartment. Every now and then he says that he doesn’t know what he wants and sometimes says that we are temporary, or he doesn’t want to get married or have children. Before now he has always asked me how things would work if we wanted to get married and talked about having children even stating how many he wanted. He would go out of his way to show me how much he loves and appreciates me and now im lucky if he if asks me if im okay when I get home from work.. to be honest im lucky if I even see him when I finish work. I have complained many times about this and even said I don’t have a problem with him going out with his friends but its not fair that he neglects our relationship to do so, especially when I am the one that cooks, cleans, does laundry and cares for him when he is sick or in pain. I have also had other girls message me to let me know the kind of flirty texts he sends to them and how much he compliments them on social media. I have confronted him with this and now when I think back to our conversation it feels like hes treated it as not a big deal. I agree maybe if this happened in the beginning of our relationship this would not be a big deal, but we live together now.
The other night he asked me to move out and said that it would be best for the both of us if we weren’t living together anymore so that when he goes out with his friends it would not be an issue. I don’t understand how he thinks this would work when he doesn’t have time for me when we live together. He also brought up again how he doesn’t want to get married and now he doesn’t want me to live with his mum and his brother. It’s a long story but basically his mum and his brother will be moving in with him supposedly at some point. He also said how he doesn’t know me and there are things that worry him. I don’t really understand why he has said that either as we were friends for a long time and were best friends before we even started a relationship. I am starting to feel like I have just been convenient for him as I have been financially supporting him, pretty much the whole time we have been together. Anyway he said his part and I just said that’s fine and I will go but I will not be continuing the relationship as what would be the point. When I said this he then goes back to how he doesn’t know what he wants and starts asking me about meeting my parents and how he wants me to meet his mum first. I just feel very confused with this whole situation. I think I already know what I have to do but I would like an outside perspective.
I think he broke up with me..
r/Advice
Comments
You need to leave him. He does not care about you at all. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. You should block him on everything
Him: I need you to move out.
You: OK. Have a good life.
Him: No, wait…don’t you want to fight about it? I didn’t really mean it…no…come back!
My perspective, and some is just theoretical obviously as there isn’t technically proof, but seeing as you’ve been financially supporting him, cooking, cleaning, ect, and he’s only seemed to care up until now, that he could be cheating or using u, and as his mom and brother are ‘moving in’ it could just be a new woman, but idk
Which bit are you finding confusing?
I don’t think what you’ve written indicates confusion.
You are supporting someone who does not reciprocate your care toward him.
Finish it before you waste any more time, love and money on a dead relationship.
you have got to leave. do it for yourself! hes being a coward and trying to push you so he doesn’t have to be the bad guy. its very obvious hes checked out. guys are great at getting woman to practically become their mother or maid and then when you start doing all these things out of love they don’t like it. atleast emotionally unavailable guys. and you did nothing wrong. he doesn’t deserve a woman like you who knows what she wants. don’t look back on all the great stuff bc that’s not there anymore. he is disrespecting you in such a crappy way. I wouldn’t say one more word to him. start packing and leave. or better yet pack his shit and put it at the door. afterall its your place too now
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.
Sounds like you picked a winner
You need to realize this relationship has run it’s course. It’s time to move on. It seems like he has found someone else. Either way, the love of his life is not you.
Girl he has given you the signs I would leave
Time to leave him and his circle of friends/family.
Fresh start, you are 27, go work on the next relationship and this time learn from the past, with knowledge comes power.
Next time:
1: Be upfront, this is what I want from a relationship.
2: Hold them accountable, don’t hold on because one part of the relationship is good.
Leave and find a guy that cares about you. It’s that simple. He’s not the guy.
He’s a hobosexual – using you – draining your finances and giving nothing back. Please get your life in order, make sure he can’t drain your bank accounts and simply slip out the door someday soon – never to return. Then block him and do not let him find out where you are – change jobs and keep yourself safe because men like him who feel entitled to a bangmaid won’t hesitate to hurt her when he has run out of clean clothes- or whatever.
And when you find a new best friend- make sure he’s making as much or more income than you do. The best is yet to come but not with him.
He kept the door open about still seeing you because he intended to hit you up for money. The ignoring you for two months was just him testing to see how far he could go and still get you to pay. Leave and don’t look back whatever/whoever you thought he was never existed.
Your a crutch and are paying for it. I bet the next topic will be you moving out but still paying for his accommodation.
It isnt working and isn’t going to, time to move on and enjoy life.
Everything in life has its time, and sometimes that includes relationships. If things have clearly run their course and there’s no longer growth, respect, or mutual understanding, then it may be best to accept it and move on. Letting go with dignity can open the door to finding a healthier and more fulfilling connection elsewhere. If you want to vent your frustration about it then you DM me but don’t linger around for long.
You’re stringing along and wasting time and money on an ideal you want with someone who doesn’t want the same things.
It’s very possible you could have over looked signs and gotten used to red flags that might feel like a norm now but may have presented themselves early on in the relationship but you were wearing rainbow colored goggles and oblivious to.