Okay so to start we both agreed that we only wanted something casual and physical only and also to note I’ve never hooked up with someone before him. (i was not a virgin though) I’m not sure if that’s why i caught feelings, but the feelings i caught were not “i want to be in a relationship with you” but just a sense of sort of loyalty??? I keep waiting for his notifications and keep thinking about what he thinks of me or what i should say.
I need advice on what to do because neither of us want a relationship and i don’t want to be exclusive but my head is so messy right now is this a normal feeling for casual sex? (Also i think he’s having sex with other girls because he said that normally girls catch feelings for him after sex.) I feel bad for how i feel as i know we both agreed on no feelings at all. Someone help should I cut ties before it goes further or is this normal feelings for causal sex?
I think i caught feelings for someone who only wants casual sex. Should i end things?
r/Advice
Comments
Yes cut ties if you are getting feelings before you move forward. You both had an agreement and it’ll get messy if you keep trying to make it work
I think it’s normal feelings because you do like this guy. But if neither of you want relationships I don’t know why you’d just end it especially if the sex and good and you enjoy his company
You cannot choose what feelings you do and do not have so stop trying to avoid catching feelings.
What you can do is choose if you want this person in your life and if you do, what you are willing to do to keep him in your life.
I do not just mean as a boyfriend either.
Would you want him as a friend? Do you want to keep him as a FWB even if he is sleeping with other women? Do you want him as a boyfriend?
All important questions that you should be asking yourself. The reason this is causing you problems is because you are fighting it. You need to stop fighting it and ask yourself the questions that need asking.
If you can answer those questions honestly, you will know how you feel about him and what you want to be, if anything.
“I feel bad for how i feel as i know we both agreed on no feelings at all.”
As others here suggest, you should sever contact with this person immediately.
Sorry that you’re having to experience this.
Needless to say, when you become physically intimate with someone without knowing them, you cannot possibly anticipate how you’re going to feel afterwards.
Physical intimacy is the consummation of a long process of getting to know someone else. It is not the starting point of a relationship, and for most well-adjusted human beings, it cannot be.
you’re catching feelings for him and it might hurt if he doesn’t feel the same way. well, i’ve been there before with a fwb and had to cut ties with him, and it hurt for a while, but it would’ve been worse if we kept it going
Yep, you’re a functioning human.
Orgasms = oxytocin = bonding 🤷🏼♀️
That’s biology. What you want to do about it is your choice. But it’s only natural to catch feelings. We only kid ourselves otherwise.
No one can control feelings. Feelings serve a purpose. We can only control what we do in response to them.
They call it love making for a reason.
It doesn’t hurt to have a conversation and share your feelings. But I think most likely you will have to move on because he may be like I am single and I want to explore my options and have sex with multiple women. And I can understand a woman being like I just want to have sex with you not being a relationship but to build that sex connection and also lower the risk of getting a STD. I would say try to talk to him have a conversation and see where it goes but ultimately I think if you want to be exclusive friends with benefits that he’s not going to be down with it especially if he can get women and have sex with multiple women
Yes honestly
Girl, you can’t control who you fall for. You will find that having great sex with someone feels so good that you catch feelings immediately. Why wouldn’t you, right? “Sport fucking” without catching feelings takes practice…and multiple partners. You just need one or two more great partners to spread out your feelings. Have fun and make them wear condoms every time.
Casual sex can mess with your head so you have two options:
Just be real with yourself about whether you’re actually okay with casual in practice
You could keep going and see how you feel in a month from now?
Since you both already agreed to casual sex he has every right to reject you if you confess and it won’t be his fault if he doesn’t feel the same for you. Try confessing if he has the same feeling as you then that’s good. If he doesn’t then better leave him and move on don’t try this shit like something is better than nothing and ill hold onto him as long as I can because you will be the getting hurt at the end.
I answered your question on another forum.
It sucks that “catching feelings” is stigmatized by people who prefer casual sex over genuine relationships. Not everyone is built for that lifestyle, and that is okay. Wanting a partner to be exclusive with is healthier anyway. Lower risk of STDs. Don’t be ashamed to want an exclusive relationship.
I’m a guy so I’ll tell you my perspective.
When I first met my wife, we worked together and just talked about gaming or stuff like that. She was living her life, going out, bars, having fun you know.
I was living my life, going out, bars, having fun yeah?
At work we would hang out, talk about our weekend, fun times and bad times and after a while we started having lunch together. We’d smoke, talk about what we are doing outside of work and just became really good friends. She would tell me about the bad experiences/hook ups with guys or the fun ones and I’d tell her about my hook ups or ask her for advice because I sometimes catch feelings and she would ground me because she as a woman knows what’s up right?
She was my friend, and after many months became one of my closest friends. We’d game every day after work, smoke sessions on discord etc and eventually she asked me to meet her up. So I invited her over to my apartment and it became a traditional “Sunday Mass” mass is like church or w.e and we would spend Sundays together doing our thing.
Our very first time together she tells me “don’t fall in love with me” 🥴🥴🥴
Needless to say after a while she and I both fell in love with each other, I made the move and asked for exclusivity.
If you really want to see what happens just ask for exclusivity and state that you have more fun with them than you do with anyone else and want to see where it goes.
Sometimes, life is a risk, they will either say “sorry, that’s not for me” or they will try it and it might be one of your greatest love stories you know?
We are married now and trying for kids 🥴
“A hurtful clarity, is better than the hopeful confusion that holds you”
You deserve to be happy, don’t let one person keep you from living your best life
Leia o livro ” o lado feio da amor”
“Casual” arrangements have such a short shelf life. They can stay casual once or twice, but one party will usually want more from it, then eventually someone ends up hurt.
When I was younger I found it amusing the other dudes I was friends with would brag about their casual relationships, but as soon the woman treated him casually by hanging out with another dude the jealousy came out strong!
Most humans don’t do this very well.