i think i hate my boyfriend

umm just wanting to say it here.

lol i think he broke me so bad but since he was my first in almost everything, im still kinda attached to him.

these days, when he’s saying something, i just want him to stop talking.

apparently he didn’t believe in women, i mean he said to me that his past relationships were bad.

her exes would lied to him and when he eventually found out. he decided to never believe women again.

why did i accept to be with him? well i’ve never been in a relationship before and the only boy that i’ve ever loved, never liked me back.
so when he told me that he liked me very very much in less than a month. i felt like it was finally my turn to be happy and loved.

anyways, turns out he didn’t change his mindset even after spending almost a year with me. well at least not until i started to not liking him anymore. i care about him but i don’t love him.

he recently decided to change and apparently he did it. so now, the thing that he loves to say when he gets the chance is : “ please i hope you’re not gonna fucked up because now i changed and i don’t want to suffer…” like gurrrlll

where where you when i was crying bc you would accuse me of cheating ?? ( spoiler: i’ve never cheated, he was just in his mindset of all women are slut who just wants to sleep with anyone ).

lol so now, i’m with him but i feel like i’m forcing myself to. i know i can walk away but i don’t know why i can’t ?? maybe i’m scared of being alone again (that’s actually the only thing i can come up with)

i know it’s selfish or whatever but i don’t care anymore.

if you stayed until here, thank you for reading my venting and if you want to judge me, go read my other confession, you can still judge me but just do it a little.

and one more thing, english isn’t my first language so please excuse my mistakes if you find any.