I am M17 (Turning 18 in 2 weeks), throughout all of high school I was a 90+ student and had great grades always. Come senior year I was told to not take a heavy course load but one of my friends told me something like “If you can’t do this now what are you going to do in university” so I said true and took a hard course load. My first semester was 2 maths, 1 English, and 1 science. September rolled around and I started off normally like I always would with great grades. Come October, everything came crashing down and I started getting 70’s then 60’s then 50’s. November 30th I got a 43, right after I got this grade I decided I was quitting school because I wasn’t smart enough. Friends asked where I went, I wouldn’t give them answers, my mom started losing it on me, grandpa was so upset. I fell into a deep depression and didn’t know what to do with myself. January rolled around and my mom convinced me to start courses again but online and I agreed. The thing is though, she spent all this money on it and I didn’t even try or pay attention to any of it. I am still not doing this and I feel like life is just over for me I threw it all away. I’ll hang out with my friends every week or two but I won’t tell them I am not trying in school I just tell them I am getting all of this done. My mom wants me to get on meds but I don’t want to do that, my grandpa said he will throw as much money at this until I am better. I just feel like a real screw up and want to just end it all.
I think I screwed up my whole life
r/Advice
Comments
Listen slow down and take a look at what you still have going for you. I know it seems so.. forced. But I fell off in my junior and senior year after always being a great student. Tbh I started smoking weed and finally felt accepted within a friend group but.. really think about if you want a job that requires a degree. I had to pivot and follow my heart, I now work in labor as a cook and spent a lot of time initiating life at only 15-19 bucks an hour.. if you want a more kush life try to push and go technical. If you have a great councilors and people at your school try to create a relationship where your school is supporting you, not defeating you. I only recently after 10 years in the industry, have begun to really come into a more “adult life.”
I had that happen and took a gap year to reinvent and get myself back on my feet, take a gap year then get right back to it, the smartest girl I know also took some time before going to college, and she’s killing it now in a prestigious school. Just don’t give up on yourself
You absolutely have not screwed up your entire life.
I would encourage you to try the meds. See, depression is like a spiral. You have a hard time doing your work because you’re depressed. This results in you not doing well, and that results in you feeling worse. Recovery is a spiral too, but in the opposite direction. With a little help on your mood, you can do do your work better. Once you start improving in your work, you will see the results in your marks and that will make you feel better about yourself, which will help you work. Meds don’t necessarily completely change your life, but they can switch you from the negative spiral to the positive one.
I would also encourage you to do some talk therapy and to take things slow. You haven’t screwed up your education in an irreparable way, but it was a mistake to try try to jump back on that train before you were ready, and you should take your time and really work through what is happening with you and try to figure out what you really want and don’t want.
If you do end up getting back on track with your education, it may actually be a good thing that this happened to you NOW instead of later on. Those online courses? Probably costs peanuts compared to a college education.
Message me. I am more than happy to help. I am a university student, and believe me, it is normal to have such a period in your life. The most important thing here is to not lose yourself and pull yourself together.
man there is very litter, short of a felony, that you could do at 17 years old that’s going to affect you the rest of your life, and even that is arguable. you made a mistake, you can correct it. Buckle down, focus on the goal, and move forward from here. Tomorrow can be worse or better than today, which one is entirely up to you. For context, when I graduated high school at 17, I barely saw a B on an assignment. I don’t think I ever did a lick of homework. I was, by every definition of the word, a giant fuck up. Now I’m 46, got a great career, giant house and a wife with two kids, one of which, ironically, is going to advanced classes for his middle school career. Just get out of your own head and fix your shit my man, you’re good.
“November 30th I got a 43, right after I got this grade I decided I was quitting school because I wasn’t smart enough.”
Can’t imagine quitting school over 43% on a test.
I got worse grades than this and now have a master’s degree.
You have plenty of life to live don’t sweat this. Just keep trying your best and that’s all you can do. However, the less you do, the more it builds and that’s the depression loop, so don’t give in to your negative emotions, fight em by action not thought and you’ll feel better once you got yourself on a track, which at the end of the day, may not be school, but do something
Get into a trade, if you’re comfortable with labor. I got into welding and retired at 50.
Oh my god dude you’re 18.
Dude, you are 17. You haven’t screwed up anything that can’t be fixed 10 times over. I know guys that were in prison at 25 and lead a productive life at 35. Take it easy and go slow.
Dude worst case possible is you end up working construction or the trades. Not the worst life out there.
Negative thoughts come from the brain. The brain is just another part of our body like the heart, lungs, teeth even. People go to the dentist so what’s wrong with going to psychotherapy?
Hahaahahah we’ve all done it 50 times! You’re not special or unique. Grow up kid!
To be totally honest with you. College was significantly easier than HS. Don’t let the propangda get to you.
When you say end it all do you mean your life?
I had a bad year when I was 16. I’d been a straight-A student but I basically dropped out of school for a semester. Couldn’t do it any more. When I went back, my grades were dogshit for a while.
I’m a multi-millionaire with a doctoral degree from one of the best schools in the world, do a job that I love, live with a woman that I love.
Things go wrong. Things go right.