Plenty of women call me pretty but I have absolutely no dating experience. At first I thought it was because they were lying to me or trying to make me feel better but I think it might be because I just have no sex appeal. My body sort of looks underdeveloped. I’m short with small boobs and a baby face. I can see why someone would look at me and think I’m cute but have absolutely no attraction. I also dress in clothes that don’t show my body so I guess it doesn’t help me.
Also my personality isn’t very “hot” either. In real life, I can make conversation and I act friendly but I think I just come off as a nerd/dork. I think I’m the type of girl that makes guys uncomfortable since I am not traditionally feminine. I’m just praying that age will help me since I’m not really willing to compromise with my clothes to be more revealing or change my personality. But waiting a decade for when I turn 32 doesn’t seem amazing. Most other women don’t have to wait to be considered an option.
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You’re 22 with no dating or sexual experience whatsoever? Hmm, maybe try a dating app? There is someone for everyone.
Here is how I see it… You know what? It’s not always about looking a certain way or being super confident, but sometimes people just don’t get it, and that can be frustrating. But hey, there’s something really special about someone who isn’t trying too hard to be everything everyone else wants, you’ve got your own vibe, and that might actually make you more appealing than you think.
Just keep being yourself so that when you find someone you like it will be authentic.
Everyone has sex appeal to someone. Why do you think you have none?
Are you trying to date people? Like, have you asked anyone out or tried to make friends with people that could turn into more?
I know it sounds cliche, but when people say “There’s someone for everyone,” that’s very true. From what you tell us, you’re a short, friendly nerd with a cute face. There are LOADS of men (and women) who love that type. I think possibly you have not been fortunate enough yet to be in the right circles.
Just a question, no need to answer if you don’t want to.
Have you ever been sexually attracted to someone in particular? Have you ever been so overcome with desire for this person, whether in real life, a fictional character, or a celebrity that you just had to “get off” thinking about them?
>When the candles are out all women are fair. -Plutarch (46 AD – 120 AD)
“Fair” meaning “pleasing to the eye or mind especially because of fresh, charming, or flawless quality.” https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/fair
Men do not take hints. They err on the side of caution. They don’t want to cause a fuss or be embarrassed. So if you see a guy, and think he may be worth it, just say “hey, you seem nice, do you want to go out some time?”
I actually did this to my husband. Literally, “You seem interesting. Want to get a beer sometime?”
Of course you have a baby face. You’re 22. 22yo have baby faces. Wait for 25-26 and the face is gone.
Your worth isn’t based on a mans opinion
Dating for fun can be fun but dating to find someone for a real relationship can take work. Try coffee dates, and plan on going on a lot (like 20-50) before you find the person who really clicks and wants the same things you want. When you are younger things are easier, you are friends with the people around you, someone tells you what to do next year and gives you a few manageable choices. I found my early 20s overwhelming because I realized needed to take charge and make my life happen instead of waiting for it to happen to me. When I was ready to settle down I treated it like a part time job
My wife showed me this IG post promoting a filter that would tell you if you’re “hot” or just “pretty”. Apparently if you’re hot, the filter would look natural on you. The filter? The most over the top makeup (thick lashes, lips, blush). Needless to say it did not look natural on her and she was bummed. I couldn’t help but laugh, what a dumb test.
IMO attractiveness/sex appeal/whatever is a direct result of self confidence, comfort in your own skin and a passion for your interests. Just be you – be able to have a good time despite anyone else and people will be drawn to you.
Ever considered you might be assexual or aromatic or something else entirely? In any case don’t worry about what most guys are after cause most are just shallow. At the end of the day if you really want a relationship just try to connect with people and maybe you’ll connect with someone that’ll really tickle your interest and attraction.
You have sex appeal to the right people 🙂 Are you putting yourself out there, going to events that interest you where you’ll meet new guys? Meet-ups for gaming or whatever you’re into, etc. That is a big one, you gotta meet people to get one
Girl same. I actually just don’t care about being romantic. You can still date, just gotta find guys who also aren’t really into that stuff.
Best advice: be yourself.
Don’t be worried about the what if’s, the shoulds the coulds. Just be yourself, do things you love, continue to grow as a person, education-wise, financially. Eventually you’ll come along someone genuine with similar interests. Don’t settle, don’t force anything. You’re worth it to the right person, and eventually that person will show you.
There are plenty of shitty people in the world, don’t let them change you for the worse. Shine your light, walk away from the trash, and be unapologetically you.
It seems like you don’t have the “conventional sex appeal”. But there are people out there who will go crazy about the walk you talk, the way you are passionate about “x” hobby, etc. I have seen women with wide varieties of personalities and physical appearance in very healthy and happy relations. Don’t overthink and try to enjoy life in other aspects for now.
Social media is distorting your perception of reality. Next time you’re out walking around in the real world, look at the other women you see with their partners. Are they amazing sex goddesses in tight clothing, or are they just… random people of all sizes, shapes and descriptions?
Is dating experience what you want? You remind me a lot of myself when I was younger and I had absolutely no interest in boys until I was 23. I was also short, nerdy, small boobs. I wasn’t good with hair, make up , being flirty and I loved just hanging with my friends.
Then one of my first major crushes ended up asking me out and I liked him enough that it made me want to work through my shyness and awkwardness, and boy was there a lot haha. Lot of cringe moments from our first dates that he somehow persevere led through. We bonded through our shared love of British comedies, fantasy movies and cats.
Get involved with hobbies and activities you like and I’m sure you will find someone who like you for you.
Are you concerned about having zero sex appeal? If you are then make changes in your appearance like what you wear how you do your hair and personality to reflect sex appeal. Lol otherwise you can not do anything and continue to complain.