TLDR: this might not be working but it feels like if I try hard enough it can?
I’ve (F25) been in a rocky relationship with (M31). It’s been 10 months of constant fighting, incredibly sweet moments, and amazing u know what. I recently started this list of things to do or not do or else it will result in an argument.
When I read it back, it really feels like the bare minimum.
I feel like I’m constantly questioning myself and if I’m even a good partner, but another side of me feels like I’m stuck in a constant state of fight or flight. He is so critical, I’m scared to plan dates. Every time I have he’s hated it, and we’ve ended up getting into an argument. I feel like I’m answering a lot of my own questions just typing this out.
His thing with me is I don’t consider him or anticipate him, while my thing is I want to communicate about it. I don’t know to be honest.
I feel like a lot of his points are valid, and he says that me saying we aren’t right for each other is a cop out and just is showing that I don’t want to put in the effort to change for him. The thing is I do, I really care for him and I think he is an amazing person. We really do have a crazy connection.
Here is the list:
Call him every day
Try any new food place you find w him
Don’t put yourself in unsafe situations, it’s not about making a statement. You need to value yourself over what ever the fuck you’re trying to do or say.
If he tell you he needs space he doesn’t really. He wants you to reach out and comfort him
Always always alwayssss offer him a bite of your food
Make sure that before one of you guys leaves for a trip. You are able to make time to have u know what before they leave even if ur in a fight
Comments
Run. This is idiotic.
He should date someone who doesn’t have to “put in the effort to change for him.”
His rules are controlling-to-abuse pipeline red flags.