I think I’m in love with my professor.

I post it because I want to tell it even if nobody is going to read it. Sorry if it’s kinda messed up, it’s my first time posting on Reddit.

So, I (female) have been going to the same school since 2023, there I met my mathematics professor (m). At first it was like any other professor to me, a bit more handsome than the others, but everything normal. Then because of certain circumstances I had— I still have— to spend about an hour after classes while I wait for my school bus to arrive. The first couple of months I used to stay at the secretary’s office during that hour, but there were a lot of mosquitoes and it was way too hot so one day I decided to spend that hour with my professor.

Since that day I got close to him, and last year I realized I might love him. I mean, he’s never done anything inappropriate or sort of, but just talking with him was enough for me to fall. I don’t like to say I’m in love with him because I think love is a very strong word (even more in Spanish, that is my mother tongue), but the more I try to get rid of these feeling the more I feel drawn by him.

My parents are 20 years apart, they’re still together. My professor and I are 15 years apart, from my parents perspective isn’t THAT bad, and, hell, what do they expect from me if that’s the way I’ve been raised? But at the same time I know he only sees me as a student, a good one, but as a student.

However, I know this is damn wrong, in every aspect, so I will never act on it, and probably nobody, besides the strangers on internet, will ever know about this crush I’ve got on him. I do not aspire to a relationship between him and I— that would be freaking creepy— but at the same time I wish the circumstances were different.

I know I want him to be happy, and someday I’ll overcome this unrequited feelings but in the meantime I wanted to write about it.