I literally have no one else to ask for advice so I’m on reddit on a throw away account since I know she knows my reddit account. Anyway back on topic.
I 17(m) MIGHT (most likely) be inlove with my childhood bestfriend 16(f) for the sake of it I’ll call her Maya. Maya and I have known eachother since kindergarten, and we just stuck together ever since then. I know her family and she knows mine, the both of us have a lot of friends but we still see each other as our closest friends of the bunch. Which is sweet but it is right now driving me mad.
Like maybe a month or two ago, I don’t know what happened. But the way I saw Maya kind of changed, I started noticing her a lot more. Paid more attention to her and right when summer break started I basically got punched in the face by the realisation that, I think I’m inlove with her.
Which I wouldn’t mind that honestly, she knows everything about me alr. But I don’t know how Maya feels about it, she has never been interested in relationships before (atleast she hasn’t told me abt any of that stuff before) and I don’t wanna ruin what we alr have.
It literally feels like torture though, the closeness makes me want to combust. We see each other almost everyday and we also touch eachother almost everyday. Hugs and just general closeness is inevitable and we just naturally float to each other. Before it wasn’t a problem but now everything just feels like being teased by my own stupidity.
I don’t know what to do about my feelings, but the biggest problem right now is that I think she might be suspecting me. That or she thinks I’m a big weirdo freak, last night we decided to watch the fnaf movie since it got added to Netflix in our area. So right nothing bad or weird right? Just watching a movie, but I basically got slapped in the face by her chest. Which makes me feel so gross for thinking about it but how can I not. I literally got socked in the eye by it, and oh my god I was absolutely mortified when a not so nice problem popped up. Which you can probably guess what it was, so there I was. Under a blanket sweating like hell because it’s hot and the fan isn’t doing anything.
Maya is acting like nothing happened, sitting next to me and talking like usual. But literally I was hyperfocused on her chest, I don’t wanna think abt her like that but I feel like a hormonal tween all over again.
I think she noticed because she was acting a bit off at one point, but me using that blanket like a life line was NOT helping my case. Anyways she went to go grab some ice cream and I basically yelled that I had to go and ran off. No proper goodbyes or anything.
I am still mortified, now I’m on the couch watching legally blonde and suffering while trying to think abt what to do with this horrible situation. Literally please help me what do I do about what happened yesterday and about my feelings.
Praying rn that a wise guy or girl could help a guy out since I am not getting anything done by myself.
Comments
Remember, honesty and communication are the backbone of any relationship. It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have spoken your heart out.
The more you drag it on the more it’ll bother you, just be open and honest, but also be prepared for a possible rejection. That’s life
Need to know what you mean by “acting off.” Sounds like you were already acting off, so she could just be reacting to that. It sounds like you have been respectful but this is not something you can hide any longer. If you still can’t talk about it you need some distance from your friend