All I do is go to work, see the same 5 men everyday, then go home. I am losing my goddamn mind. I’ve been trying to make some friends so I can maybe go out with them but that hasn’t gotten me anywhere. At this point I’m just gonna go out alone and hope something terrible doesn’t happen to me. It’s become increasingly obvious to me that it’s like pulling teeth getting a stranger to give a shit about you so I’m just gonna go get drunk alone, dance, and hope it makes me feel a little bit less lonely.
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I mean, I get it, we’re all just trying to survive this mundane existence. But hey, don’t forget, there’s strength in reaching out to others who understand, yeah? Let’s find our tribe and make this thing called ‘life’ a little less… routine.
I don’t want to dismiss your struggle, it is genuinely hard to meet people, but there is one specific thing that has helped me make friends in this socially isolating society.
Hobbies.
No, seriously. I have met people fishing, I have met people LARPing, I have met people drawing in community art classes. If there’s something you love out there, reach out, search online, there’s probably some people who are into it too.
Obviously, this works better in cities, but it proved useful even when I lived in a small town.
It’s so easy to make friends. Try some new hobbies, join some clubs, or do an adult sports league/club. Run clubs are the a great way to meet new people and meet men. A lot of cities have events around women meet ups, or like a women, wellness, social club.
Please don’t do that. Try meetup, or join a class on the weekend – cooking, hiking, whatever you can find – REI and Sur La Table offer classes. Take an adult education class or check the local recreation department for an exercise class or sport team. I’m sorry you are going through this.
Yep. If you got the freetime, 100 percent start a social hobby. You will find people in no time.
If you want to dance AND make friends, take some partner dance classes! See what is popular in your area-salsa and bachata are pretty universal, but there’s west coast swing (my personal fav), contra, blues, Lindy hop…tons of options. There’s a whole community of partner dancers in pretty much every city, and if you make even a tiny effort to be outgoing, people will be so welcoming! Just don’t be offended if conversations end quickly when someone gets up to dance 🙂
What everyone else has said. Activities combined with people are essential to living.
Some suggestions from me:
Bridge. I get it’s an old person game, but it’s inherently social and most clubs are very excited about and welcoming to new players.
Anything nerdy. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea. But DnD, Magic, board game clubs, Warhammer, are also very social and welcoming. Although women have to be a bit careful because a minority there can definitely be creepy.
For many game based clubs you can find a ‘learn to play’ time or group.
Good luck.
Bumble bff. I’ve met around 15 women on there and all have been nice, and I regularly hang out with about half of them now. I had like one or two friends before. Now I get invited to events, and am part of a book club that one of the women started. If you’re shy or reclusive, give the apps a try!
Go out alone!
It is freeing!
If you want to do something, do it. You don’t need to let “being alone” stop you. And you’re never alone if you’re always with yourself.
I agree with the other commenters regarding making friends through hobbies.
But.
If you want to check out a new sushi restaurant, do it!
If you want to see a movie, do it!
If you’re worried about assault, just remember you’re most likely to be assaulted by people who you let into your home, not strangers.
No do not get drunk outside your house. Do that inside. Safer all the way around. Also not great for the day after.
Have you tried meetup?
Have you decided what new hobby you are starting now?
Have you been for a walk in the local park?
Take a trip to a book store, find a small interesting book to buy and go sit in a local coffee shop and read it for half an hour.
These things I did when I was lonely and depressed. While they don’t immediately make you new friends, consistently they will raise mood, help thinking and at least the meetups have a good chance at helping you find new acquaintances, one or two might blossom in to friendship.
I’ve never been a bar girl and I’m a little socially awkward, so when a friend talked me into Online Dating it was a really good thing. You can pick and choose which app, which person, which conversation. You have to use common sense and I always arranged a short meeting in a coffee shop during the daytime to see what the person was like. Took about a year, but I met the right guy. I only met with guys who contacted me first. Use a really good picture of yourself.