TL;DR: My bf has been distant and I think he’s falling out of love because of my emotional unavailability.
My (21 F) bf (26M) and I have been dating for 7 months now and ever come very close to eachother, we’ve been through a lot of ups and downs. Where ups are v high and downs are v low.
Lately, I’ve been feeling a little distant, especially when we have sex. I know that there’s something in the air. Initially I thought it’s because he probably is not attracted to me physically bcs I’ve put on weight, but yesterday he told me that he’s been feeling distant from me emotionally.
Yesterday he had an amazing news regarding his work and I was very excited for him but while we talked about it I kept getting work messages and I had a v long day.
Later that day he told me that he feels like I do not prioritize him and I’ve taken him for granted.
It’s always either work or my family issues that always comes up and he doesn’t remember when he’s had me completely to himself. This has come up before as well, and we spoke about it for a couple of days and idk what happened to that conversation but I thought it was over, and I told him that I’ll be better and I’ll do better and that I’m trying.
I put myself in his shoes and I get how it is for him…
But today he told me that if I didn’t do anything about it I’m going to lose him.
I usually go non-verbal when he’s telling me this, bcs I genuinely do not know what to say. I can’t even tell him that I’ll do better and I’ll try harder bcs I’ve said this sm times and he feels like they’re all talks.
He tell me that he’s a fool and feels stupid and that he’s very disappointed. He also told me that this is emotionally draining him and v exhausted of this.
I want to get better and do better for him, but nothing seems to be working I’m always mentally/emotionally caught up with something or the other and he feels neglected. I asked him to leave me bcs I can’t see him like this, not because of me.
I really really love him and I can’t lose him, but I am also clueless asf.
What do it do?
Comments
If you’re always mentally or emotionally caught up with something else and not prioritising him, and he’s told you this, then you need to change that and actually prioritise him.
If you feel that you are prioritising him but he is not feeling it, then you need to talk to him to find out where the disconnect is.
I’m not going to assume that the problem is you or the problem is him, you just need to figure out which of the situations it is.
you said you think he’s falling out of love with you because of your emotional unavailability but you didn’t really explain how you’re emotionally unavailable.
how are you clueless though? i’m assuming he’s talked to you about what he didn’t like on your end