I’m so idk how to really write this cause I’m shaking really bad but, I (19F) have a brother (25M) and our family life is fine in the day however I have a feeling at night he tries to do weird things to me.
It’s happened in the past and was very bad, when I was back in school so around when I was 13-16 and he would’ve been 19+, so definitely NOT a minor
I have caught him hanging around me at really weird times of the night but tried to tell myself he’s just going to the bathroom, but since its happened before I can’t stop worrying
And tonight right before I wrote this was my last straw honestly, I was laying in bed watching YouTube and I had the door firmly shut, the kind of door that won’t just open randomly even with wind and I heard it move, as if someone turned the knob but DIDN’T actually pull it open, enough to just open it with a smal push and I am freaking out and worrying that it could be him
Linking back to when it’s happened before this is a way he’s tried to creep on me but I don’t know what to do. I’ve told my parents and they didn’t believe me or try to check his phone for anything and I’m terrified he could have photos or anything on there since I sleep extremely heavy and he could do anything while I’m asleep
Please help me I don’t know what to do as I have no evidence and don’t feel safe around him alone
Comments
Could you possibly get a lock for your door to give you some security. What is the dynamic of your relationship with him? you say things are fine in the day. Do you feel you could just ask him if he was outside your room and what he was doing? Is it possible he ever sleep walks?
Basically you don’t feel safe in your own house. Can you go with a relative for some time? or live on your own? Apparently your parents don’t give 3 sh*ts about it.
Your recount of past and present situations seems realistic and there are red flags. Your parents might be in denial mode, which is psychologically explainable, but it’s not the safeguard you need. What’s to be done. Safety first. Your room’s door needs to be locked at all times. It is your right to lock your door and no explanation is necessary. If there’s no key or lock switch, go to a hardware shop with a photo of the door handle and key hole, and ask for a device to secure locking. Besides as familiarity is not synonymous with safety, when at home be modest with your appearance and do not trust anyone. Have a trusted friend to whom you can speak, for assistance in case of need. Towards the person who’s perceived as a source of anxiety be firmly and politely distant. No confidence or proximity at all. Consider these precautions a commitment with yourself. If you do not carefully take care of yourself and your safety nobody will. Stick to your safety programme for at least three months, until you can assess the situation. If you’re safe, carry on sticking to your safety programme. If not, reassess the situation with someone you absolutely trust.
Ok so record everything on your phone from now on. Like use camera and voice note.
Make sure you’re recorded telling him to get out and why is he opening your door.
If your parents keep not believing you then you need to tell the authorities as you’re a minor in a dangerous situation and they are failing at their job to protect you. It’s literally their job!!
Record EVERYTHING and if you have a friend or relative you can go to, go there.
Just record everything.
I’m so sorry this is happening to you sweetheart, you don’t deserve it
Confront him about it? Unless he is an aggressive person, and you think he is going to harm you. Or tell your parents again. Seems like bad parenting if they just brush you off so easily.
Not a permanent solution but can you get a Lock Security Bar? Amazon has them.
I think an important thing to note is that when I don’t get access to a bedroom, since my house has 3 and my parents have one and sister and brother I do not usually get one and have to crash on the couch so while I can buy a portable lock that option isn’t a choice sometimes :/
Take a flashlight to bed with you and catch him.
Buy a cheap door alarm.
The door opens->the alarm ringing
Maybe he is shocked and he stop that shit.
Seems like he doesnt want to get caught. That shock could probably help.
Holy, hope you are safe. I wouldnt feel secure if im alone with him.
You need to get out however you can manage it. You’re showing signs that maybe something bad happened before and you can’t remember it (this is a common psychological defence mechanism) . It could be nothing but it’s worth treating it as though it is something. In the meantime get yourself some sort of trail cam or motion spy cam or something. Hide it in a backpack or something if you can, because you must but record what happens.
Also worth noting that if your brother is doing this often it’s because bad things happened to him. This could be why your parents aren’t doing anything.. they aren’t safe either but it could also be that they can’t afford to do anything based on your living situation so it’s easier to put their heads in the sand.
Reach out please, a teacher, a doctor, police, child services in your area. You need adult support either to help you work out why you feel that way or to protect you from the adults you live with.
Something like this – $20 on Amazon. You can take it anywhere and might also act as a deterrent.
“litokam Security Camera Indoor 2K, 360 Pan/Tilt Cameras for Home Security with Motion Detection, Baby Monitor for Pet/Dog with Night Vision, 2.4GHz WiFi Cam with Phone App & 2-Way Audio”
https://www.amazon.com/Security-Cameras-Detection-Tracking-Wireless/dp/B09CKQ7KW1#:~:text=Submit-,litokam%20Security%20Camera%20Indoor%202K%2C%20360%20Pan/Tilt%20Cameras%20for%20Home%20Security%20with%20Motion%20Detection%2C%20Baby%20Monitor%20for%20Pet/Dog%20with%20Night%20Vision%2C%202.4GHz%20WiFi%20Cam%20with%20Phone%20App%20%26%202%2DWay%20Audio,-Visit%20the%20litokam
I think it would be a good idea to put up a camera in a place he can’t see. That’s so weird
Put a motion camera in your room. Put a lock on your door.
Also get a 4 leg chair that you can prop in your room against the door at night. It should fit right beneath the door handle when leaned on its 2 back feet.
This should help keep him out, if it doesn’t he will get caught on camera.
You can buy wifi mini spy cams with night vision that can be hidden easily for about $30 or less, set one up and hopefully you can catch him just being creepy and not worse.
Assuming you can’t just leave..
I mean doesn’t seem like much I need more context. All he did was hang out with you weird times I understand if he was touching you or telling inappropriate stuff
But the op is now stating she doesn’t always have an available room. This story is so confusing to me. First she stated she has a room with a door, than she states that her parents have a 3 bedroom and her parents occupy 1 of them and her sister, and brother has the other two, and she sometimes has to “crash whenever she can “. This story is fishy to me.
You’re a 19 year old woman. Ask your friends if any of them would like to be your roommate and get an apartment. If this is not possible, you need a lock on your door for your safety. Dont ask ypur parents for permission or nothing, just go to a hardware store and buy a locking doorknob. They are not expensive. Look up on youtube how to install one and do it. Its not difficult. Then give the old door knob to your Dad and tell him he can put it back on the door after you move out if he wants to.
I didn’t really understand ”it has happened before” and ”hanging around me at weird times” like have you felt the door open more times? And has he been in your bedroom or have you guys just sat in the same couch or what, and at what times?
You know the situation better and it seems as if you’re gut is telling you something/ you’re picking up on small signs but i wouldn’t say that just seeing the door slightly open is enough to assume that he is a predator or want something sexual although it is a bit weird
If you live in the US, go by Harbor Freight and pick up a driveway alarm. It is 2 pieces. A motion detector and a receiver that alarms. Set the motion detector in front of your door and the alarm by or on your bed. As soon as the alarm goes off, he will get the hell out of there. You will have him busted, plain and clear. Those units cost about $15. Good luck and stand your ground!
Idk if this is a dumb idea or not but someone said a camera and this came to mind: maybe have one of those sleep tracker apps running when u sleep. It’ll record the sound of whatever happens when u sleep and if someone comes in you’ll be able to hear it. Also it’s a little more discrete than a camera but I guess you could also do a nanny cam?
You’re 19, you’re brother is 25. There is another sister in the home? You are old enough to have this out with your brother in front of your parents. Bad things happen in the dark, but don’t survive in the light. If for no other reason than to protect your sister a family conversation must be had. At 25 I personally think it’s time for your brother to leave home, why should you? When he knows that everyone is aware of his nighttime wanderings then I could almost guarantee he’ll stop his suspicious behaviour. 👩🏽🦳❤️
Buy a wyze camera for $20 on Amazon and set it up in your room. It catches motion and sound so if the door opens it will record that. There is an app you can install on your phone that will let you view and download the videos. It uploads the data via a wifi signal.
Then use this evidence to show your parents that you aren’t imagining things.
I have one of these cameras in my room to monitor myself while I sleep. I turn the camera off as soon as I get up so that it doesn’t record me getting dressed accidentally.
Also, maybe change the door knob on your door to one that locks.