Im looking for some guidance, as I just got off the phone with my girl and im feeling lonely and deeply afraid. My (22M) long-distance gf (23F) of 2 years and I recently saw each other for the last time before I go to grad school for the year, now becoming even more long distance. Everything seemed great, but that’s the usual when we’re together. As of recent, when we’re apart for awhile, she tends to get quickly impatient over the phone and irritated by my questions. Her apathy now was once a deep curiosity toward my questions/insights and desire to make me feel seen in conversation. After bringing up how she made me feel tn, she acted indifferent toward my feelings and showed little compassion, just wanted to go to bed.
For more context (whether it’s related is something she herself says she is unsure of), I took a different girl to a formal event at my school in October and got drunkenly handsy with her (grabbing her arm to lead her, putting my hand on her back and waist once). Despite my gf’s permission to take someone else, I felt guilty about my behavior and confessed everything. As you can imagine, she did not take it well, and it has been tumor on our relationship ever since. I regret it every day.
Despite our ability to often act like our normal selves and show deep love, I know the past situation has been eating at her, as she sometimes mentions that she doesn’t know whether she’ll be able to stay in the relationship if she can’t get over my past behavior.
I know some of you may struggle to empathize with me because of what I did, but I can honestly say that I love and care so deeply about my gf. I would do anything to make amends. If anyone has advice or experience with situations like this, anything, please help me. I am so scared of waking up without her one day, and want to know what to do from this point/how I can maybe prepare.
TL;DR, Gf (23F) is growing irritated by my (22M) phone presence while long distance and reassurance is a chore. I flirted with a girl in October and it has plagued her thoughts ever since.