I don’t know where to start. The evening yesterday just ended in a way I didn’t expect. Sorry this will be long.
My Husband and I were both stressed coming home from work yesterday so we are already somewhat snippy with each-other.
I ordered dinner to be delivered to our home and it is already 7:45pm. I have health issues and all so I can’t eat late plus I was really starving ( I have Insulin issues which he is aware about)
I was cleaning up the kitchen (while waiting for the food delivery), my husband was outside sitting in the backyard. When our order arrived, I open the back door to let him know it’s here and to please come in. He was on the phone with someone but I was not aware who. He responded back to me stating he will be back in two mins. Ten mins passed, he was still on the phone.
I admit I got upset because a) he knows I can’t eat late b) he doesn’t like it if I eat without him.
So I went to the back door again angrily this time and called out to him to come.
When he came back in, he was pouting at me but not angry or anything. I angrily said that it’s just rude knowing dinner is waiting and that I can’t eat past 8pm. I also said that I paid for the dinner (I regret saying this part. I meant to say that money was spent so why let it go cold). He ate and I went to shower. It was all just silence.
We went to bed after it all and we didn’t say anything to eachother. I thought that if emotions are running high, I don’t want to say anything now and figured that we will talk in the morning once we are cooled off. I was ready to apologize for my part. I was wrong about this clearly.
He turned to me and I thought he would say something but he didn’t. He went back to his side. I continued to drink my tea and scrolled on my phone. He then got up and he said he I was ignoring him and he pointed out that he was literally crying. that’s when he went off on me. He said that he’s done with our marriage and that he’s going to see my parents tomorrow to apologize that it’s over, that he still has self respect and that I don’t own him.
He said that he was talking to his friend about his Mom (I had no idea) and that since he couldn’t talk to me, he is talking to other ppl about her. At this point, he was yelling at me. He went on to say that his Mom is dying in the hospital, and he criticized me for showing no empathy. He brought up my past criticism of her, that I’m a control freak, that I treated him like an employee, that I don’t own him since I mentioned money for dinner tonight, that I am isolating him from his family (I never once said he should go NC or low contact), I am only the one who went NC.
He slammed the door twice and banged on the bed which hits my leg. I was honestly scared.
I tried to explain that I had no idea he was talking to his friend about his Mother outside, I was just upset about having to wait for dinner and I admit I could have gone about it differently. I also mentioned that I didn’t mean to point out the money. I shouldn’t have said that either.
I left to stay at my parents. Before I left, he said I’m gonna play the victim and that I’m gonna spread lies about what happened.
I don’t honestly know what to say. I’m feeling bewildered, like it just happened so fast. please advise me on what I should do.