My husband and I have been together since we were 15—high school sweethearts turned married couple. We’re both 31 now, and I’ve always felt like he was my person. We grew up together, shaped our lives together, and were even starting to talk about growing our family.
But lately, things have shifted. A few months ago, he started saying he regrets not “living life” when he was younger. That he didn’t get to have wild hookups or typical young adult experiences. It stung to hear, but I didn’t say anything because I wanted him to feel safe being vulnerable with me. I thought maybe it was just a passing phase.
Then came the coworker. He told me she liked him but said he let her know he’s married. Two days later, she’s confiding in him about her own relationship problems, and he just says, “People always feel comfortable talking to me.” That weirded me out a bit.
And I wish I hadn’t looked. I really wish I hadn’t.
I checked his messages, and what started as casual turned into him flirting back… then asking for nudes. She sent them. He responded by telling her how he’d f*ck her. In detail. I haven’t confronted him yet because part of me feels like once I say it out loud, it’s real. I don’t know if they’ve actually hooked up, but emotionally? He already crossed the line.
The worst part? I think he wants to be single again. I think he’s too much of a coward to admit it, so he’s slowly sabotaging everything we built. I don’t know what to do. I just needed to get it off my chest.
Comments
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. You didn’t deserve any of it—especially not from someone you’ve built a whole life with. It sounds like he’s already checked out emotionally, and instead of being honest, he’s leaving you to slowly unravel alone. That’s not love, and it’s definitely not respect. Whatever you decide next, I hope you choose you.
Yeah it’s the most weak, awkward, low behaviour – not marriage but I’ve been broken up with by men a few times doing this. Insecure as hell.
Get out, girl. There are fascinating wonderful kind gorgeous men in the world!
ur husband is a teen..divorce
Want to go on a date then?
Whether he wants to be single or irrelevant. He should be after this. Document the indiscretion and then divorce. Take the house and half his assets, he’ll regret it.
So sorry he is treating you this badly. It doesn’t matter what his reasons are for this – he is hurting you and that matters. You deserve better than this.
No one is perfect, and I understand how cheating hurts. I and ny girlfriend may her soul rest in peace struggled with the same situation. I really loved her and I was honest with her over everything, even when I cheated her with my co worker, how I felt when I saw other girls, I just told her everything and she would get hurt, scold me over it and made me to promise that I would change. I’m so sorry that I hurt her but us talking about it made us solve things and it made me Change. I advice you to communicate share what you feel because communicate is the key. My girlfriend used to tell me that us men think with the wrong head and sadly it’s true. I’m so sorry
Many relationships that start that young are not meant to last. It is sad but many men and women can regret not sowing their seeds or dating as a younger person ( 18-27). Dating as a young adult v/s as a teen are two different things. Get into counseling both together and maybe individually. If it doesn’t save your marriage it will teach you how to live apart.
My story is similar, and I still am not sure if I regret marrying so young…